


Tykes

by ZorroRojo



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Kidfic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-19
Updated: 2013-03-19
Packaged: 2017-12-05 19:50:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 83,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/727265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZorroRojo/pseuds/ZorroRojo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vin and JD are kids. Chris and Buck are adults. Their jobs get explained in the story.</p><p>Chris and Buck are not in a romantic relationship. They do, however, occasionally have sexual encounters.</p><p>We don't give warnings. But... we will say this: if you only read sweetness and light, don't read this story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Snafu

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2003
> 
> I couldn't think of a better name. Robin and I turned some characters into kids about six years ago and this is the name we used then. At that time, I don't think anyone else had done the canon characters as little kids, but now it's practically cliche. We still like it.
> 
> A few things about this AU.
> 
> Should anyone feel the urge to write in this universe, feel free to do so, but we do ask that you wait until the entire series is posted. We have lots of twists and turns in upcoming chapters, and they're likely to drastically change conceptions about the universe. 
> 
> Each posted story is a complete story without a cliffhanger. This is a series of stories set in one universe, not one story broken into parts. 
> 
> Our stories are primarily Vin centered, with Chris as the main POV character. If you would like to see more of the others, you are more than welcome to write it.

"John Dunne, you come back here! I swear, I turn my back for five minutes and 'poof' off you go!"   
The little figure scampered down the hallway and came to a stop in front of his mother. 

"Oh, hi, Momma, I thought you went to the store."

"I forgot the card for the food. Come here and give your momma a hug."

Five year old JD Dunne flew through the dingy apartment and into his mother's arms. Wrapping his arms around her neck, he and squeezed for all he was worth. She'd had to work late the night before and she had only just come out of her bedroom before heading out to the little grocery store. He missed her something awful.

She detangled their limbs and held him back a little so she could look at him closely. She sat with him in her lap, cradling him to her chest. The affectionate little boy hugged her back, a little looser this time.

"That's my boy. Now where were you off to in such a hurry? I know you remember the rules. I turn my back for two minutes and you're already breaking them." She ruffled his hair affectionately before setting him down to stand between her knees.

"I wasn't going outside, I promise."

She stared at him for a moment, his little chin cupped in her hand before releasing him. "I know, baby. But you need to stay safe when I'm not home."

"I was only goin' upstairs to play."

"You stay away from the big boys, you hear me?"

"Yes, Momma."

"That's my good boy. If you promise to be good tonight while I'm at work, I'll bring you home some poptarts. Deal?"

"I want to come with you." 

"I know, hon, but I have some adult business to take care of. You know you can't come to my job."

"I can be good, Momma."

"I know you can, but I need you to stay here. I'll be home in an hour, then we'll spend the afternoon together before I go to work. It won't be so bad next year when you'll be in school and not hanging around here, bored out of your skull. Now, I need you to be good and not wake Joey. I'll bring you some poptarts Pop Tarts and we'll have mac and cheese for dinner, okay? Do we have a deal?"

"Deal." He extended his hand to hers and gave it a big shake before scampering off to find something to do. Maybe he couldn't go outside without his momma, but their old apartment building had six floors to explore, not including the roof or basement. He didn't have to go outside to the streets of Purgatorio to have fun. The big boys owned the streets and he was scared of them.

Besides, Momma got the new foodcard today so there would be good food all week. Not those stupid noodles that filled his belly but were so salty. Yuck! Today he was having Pop Tarts. He gave a little whoop as he headed out of his apartment and up the stairs. Someone moved out a couple of weeks ago and he wanted to run around the empty apartment. The bigger kids would have cleaned out anything good by now, but at least it might be empty so he could play without having to worry about waking up Joey. Joey always got so mad when he got woken up by JD's play noises. It wasn't fair that the adults slept all day. He had to go to bed at night, they should too!

The unfairness of it all occupied his mind and when he scooted through the space in the chain to get into the empty apartment he nearly scampered right back out. He wasn't the only one who'd decided to play in there.

He looked at the bigger boy warily, staying close enough to the door to get away if the kid moved towards him.

Only, the slightly older boy barely glanced at him, then went back to whatever had so completely caught his attention. JD stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was a threat. He was only a little bit taller than JD and a lot skinnier. He didn't look mean, either. Not exactly nice, but definitely not mean.

JD moved further into the apartment, listening to make sure they were alone. He stood staring at the other boy until he couldn't take it any longer. His momma was always telling him he had ants in his pants, so he waited longer than he normally would. But he wanted a friend so bad. This boy was almost his age. They could be friends!

JD moved closer still and the other boy finally looked at him again. 

"What's your name?" JD asked.

The little boy, well bigger than him, but still little, just stared at him.

"Dontcha talk?" 

The very dirty - JD just noticed - little boy just shrugged. 

JD couldn't imagine not having something to say. He just got so excited, he'd bust wide open if he didn't talk. His momma was always telling him to shush, well not always, only when Joey was home. When they were alone, she talked just as much as he did. She sometimes jumped on the bed, too, but that was their secret.

JD watched the strange boy push some dirty rags and papers around, moving closer when he saw something in the bundle wriggling. "Whatcha doin'?" 

"See that?" the other boy asked.

"Nope. Where?" JD moved closer to the pile of newspapers the older boy hovered over.

He looked at JD, then pointed to a squirming pink mass under the papers. "It's a lil' baby rat. He's gonna die."

"Let's fix him."

"We cain't. He's too little. He ain't even got any hairs. See how pink he is?"

JD moved closer and he felt the other boy move out of the way. "He looks dead already."

"Not yet, but soon. I'm making sure's he don't get stepped on afore he dies."

"Who's going to step on him?"

"Some little kid like you, runnin around, not lookin where he's goin'."

"I'm not little!"

"Yer littler than me. That makes you little."

"My name's JD."

The other boy stared at him, then down at the rat. He made no move to replace JD, now hovering over the little nest.

"Where's his momma?" JD asked.

"Dead. A critter got her and the other babies. This'un didn't get ate."

"You talk funny."

The boy stiffened and JD wondered if he said the wrong thing.

"So do you," he finally answered, grinning suddenly.

JD stared at the other boy, the dim lighting in the abandoned apartment only letting him see long, shaggy hair, skinny shoulders and shining teeth.

"I never seen you before. Me and momma and Joe live downstairs."

The other boy didn't look at him again; he kept his attention on the squirming pink body between them.

"You wanta play with me?"

Nothing.

"You too little for school too?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Where do you and your momma live?"

"Around."

"My momma's gonna be home from the store soon. Then she's gotta go to work. You want to play with me?"

"I cain't."

"Why?" JD asked his new friend.

"Because."

"That's not an answer. Will your momma's boyfriend get mad?"

"Ain't got a momma."

JD looked at the other boy, squinting in the dim room to see him more clearly. "S'at why you're so dirty? My momma makes me take baths. Only it ain't so bad 'cause we play boats. But not when Joe's home 'cause he says I talk too much."

"He's right." 

The boy moved closer to the baby rat, reaching down to feel it for a moment before he wrapped it in the newspaper and stood to go.

"I'm sorry I talk too much. If I promise to talk less, will you play with me later? I don't have anyone to play with while my momma's workin'. You can come to our apartment. Okay? Okay?"

At least he stopped walking away. JD took a chance and invited him again. "If you come over, you can have pop Pop Ttarts."

The other little boy turned back around and asked, "Really?"

JD nodded his head like a bobble doll, "Yeah!" he practically yelled, "Momma always buys me strawberry Pop Tarts on foodcard day. I'll share 'em with you if you play with me."

"I ain't playin with you fer yer food, kid. But if'n you want ta share, I reckon I'll let you." He gave JD a crooked smile and said, "See you when it gets dark."

As the narrow shoulders were about to follow the shaggy head through the door, JD called out, "Hey! I live on the first floor, apartment 110. Don't come till it's been dark for an hour. Can you come out that late?"

The boy's head popped back through the narrow opening and he gave a little laugh. "I can do whatever I want. . I'm almost seven!"

Just as he started backing out again, JD called to him, "Hey, what's your name?"

The boy stopped again and tilted his head to the side a little, thinking about his name. Finally, he answered. "My name's Vin."

 

************************************************  
"Vick, you are not keeping that kid - he ain't some stray puppy!"

"I know that. If he was a stray puppy, animal welfare would be here so fast it'd make your head spin! Nobody else wants him, and he keeps JD quiet. I'm the only one with a job around here, so I say who stays and goes!"

"You think so, girlie!"

JD tugged on Vin's arm, keeping him from running out of the safety of the hall closet. "Vin, no! You can't do nothin when they fight. Momma spank-ded me last time I yelled at him when they was fighting. She says she knows how to take care of big boys and little ones."

"S'aint right! He got no call to be hittin' on a woman like that! They're fightin cause of me."

Even in the dark, JD could see Vin's face scrunched up, the way he did whenever he got upset. "Nah, they fight over everything. Please stay, Vin. I wants you to be my big brother."

"I don't know, JD."

JD sighed and clutched tighter to Vin's arm. Besides keeping Vin from jumping into his momma's fight, he really liked having Vin with him. It wasn't exactly as easy as he pretended to just sit back and stay quiet when Joe got mean with his momma.

Joe and his momma walked further into the living room as they shouted at each other, making it harder for them to see from the barely-opened closet door. A thump and the crash of something falling to the floor made JD shudder and squirm closer to Vin. 

"Dammit woman, you gave me a bloody nose!"

From experience, JD knew this was the part that would be hardest to listen to, when Joe would either hit back, or say even meaner stuff, or both. He nudged the side of his head against Vin's bony shoulder, and used his free hand to cover his other ear so it all wouldn't seem so loud. If it wasn't all that loud, it wouldn't seem so bad.

"Serves you right."

"Drop the brat off at social services. We aren't keeping him."

"I won't do that to him. He'll end up in some foster hell."

"Not all kids in foster care get fucked by their foster fathers, Vicki, you you got lucky."

"Dammit Joey, that isn't funny. Foster homes suck. I know, I was in twelve."

"Don't go all drama queen on me. You want something to take care of, we'll get you a puppy. Or even better we can make a kid that's mine!"

"He's a good kid, Joe. Real quiet and he keeps JD quiet."

"I got a better idea. We send your brat to the state and we keep pigpen."

"Fuck you! Don't you talk about my son like that!"

Another crash and a whole series of thumps had JD clinging to Vin, trying real hard to make those awful sounds quieter.

"Cunt! Hit me again and I'll kill you and your brat and I'll keep Little Orphan Vinnie for myself to spite your dead ass. We can't even get any money from the state for the little freeloader. He was doin' fine for himself on the street. Shoulda left him there. Do I look like a garbage man to you? Picking up some other guy's trash?"

"Don't talk about him like that, he's only six years old!"

"Too bad he isn't 14 - shit could get a job."

"I'm keeping him!"

"Whatever - just keep him and your brat away from me. I'm going out."

The slam of the front door made the whole closet shake a little, and that made JD flinch, but he also knew it meant Joe would be gone for a while, and that brought a wave of relief washing over him.

"JD, Vin, come in here!"

JD didn't hesitate at all, but pushed the closet door open and darted out, flinging himself into his mother's arms. Vin hung in the doorway, ready to bolt at the first sign of movement towards him.

Vicki put JD down and came over to Vin and knelt in front of him. She cupped his face in her hands and stared into his eyes for a moment. "Vin? You're going to stay here with us, if that's okay with you?"

He didn't answer her, returning her searching look with one of his own. "Why?" He finally asked.

"Because if someone cared about me when I was your age, my life wouldn't be the mess it is now. Do you understand?"

Vin nodded his head because it was the answer she expected from him. He didn't understand at all.

"Whoopeeee!" JD yelled as he launched himself onto the couch. "I gots a brother!"

"JD, you tell everyone he's your cousin from Boston, okay?"

"Okay, momma, but he's from Texas."

"I know, sweetie, but if he's going to live with us, people have to think we're family or they'll take him away. You don't want that, do you, honey?"

JD bounded from the couch to stand in front of Vin, arms crossed defiantly. "I won't lets anyone take Vin from me, momma, he's my brother now!"

"JD, mind your momma - we's cousins. Right ma'am?" Vin turned his eyes to Vicki, the expression in them frighteningly serious for a child of his age.

"You are such a wise little man, Vin. Now come on and let's make dinner before I have go to work, okay? How's hotdogs and scrambled eggs sound?"

"Hotdogs! Yum!" yelled JD as he twirled around the room.

Vicki pulled out the pans she'd need, relieved that at least JD had recovered from the latest ugliness that went on in that apartment. Vin's smile was as fake as the ones Vicki herself had had to put on her own face as a kid, more times than she could count. Sad as it was for her to see, she also knew it meant Vin had what he needed inside to take care of himself. Knowing when to smile and when to stay quiet; they were important survival skills. Vicki just hoped they were skills JD wouldn't need to practice on much more than he already had.

****************************** 

"Buck!"

Buck rolled his eyes as he answered. "Dammit Chris, I'm right here. What are you so all fired het up about now?"

"Where is the Christiansen report? You were supposed to have it to me by 8:00."

"If you'd look before squawkin', you'd see it right here."

"That's it? On an op with three dead, it oughta be thicker than that."

Deep breath, Buck reminded himself. "Cut and dried, Chris."

"I'm stuck in this meeting until ten. Once the rest of the guys get here, get started on the McKay case."

"The guy running guns in Purgatorio?" Now that got Buck's attention.

"Guns and heroin. He's going to the top of the list since he started bringing in the bad brown."

No wonder Chris was more ornery than usual. Buck himself was feeling twitchy about this McKay fella, now. "We got anything to go on?"

"Intel says there's likely to be civilians in the apartment. Woman and a kid."

Buck winced. "Shit. You sure we want to serve the warrant there?"

"Have to. It's either there or the bar they use as their headquarters. It's in the middle of a crowded neighborhood and his gang's always watching his back. Everywhere else he goes, they go with him. Could turn into an ugly firefight if we try to take down the entire gang. It's risky, but one woman and kid in the way is better than an entire neighborhood. Besides, intel says the woman isn't an innocent. She mules for him and is likely armed."

Buck shook his head and let out a gusty breath. If this was what they were dealt, they'd just have to play it best they could. "Okay, you're the boss. I'll have it worked up by the time you get back."

****************************

"Vin? JD? Boys? Come on... dinner and bath time!"

JD popped his shaggy head through the doorway, leaving the rest of his body in the hallway for a quick getaway. "Momma! Do we gots too? It's still light out."

"Come in here, JD, and tell Vin to come too. I haven't seen you boys in days! I have to go to work in an hour and you don't want me to be late, do you? "

"No, Momma. We's comin." JD stuck his head back into the hallway and shouted for Vin. When he came back in, he shrugged his shoulders before slumping into a chair. "I think he's on the roof. Too high up there!"

Vicki finished setting their dinner of macaroni and cheese and hotdogs on the table, sticking her head out the door when Vin still hadn't arrived. "There you are, young man!" she shouted when she saw him trudging down the hallway. "I've been calling you for half an hour," she said, her hands on her hips.

Vin scooted out of range and sat down, quickly wiping his hands on his pants legs. He was pale and shaky, his eyes red rimmed and downcast. "I'm sorry, ma'am," he said softly.

Vicki sighed and knelt next to Vin's chair. "Vin, you know I'm not going to hurt you, don't you?"

"Yes ma'am," the boy answered, but didn't look up at her.

An ugly suspicion came to mind, and with it, a distinct feeling of panic. "Is someone else hurting you?"

JD hitched in a sharp breath, his mouth popping open in surprise. "I didn't tell Vin, honest, I didn't!"

Vicki's stomach did flips as she sat at the table, trying to get both boys to look at her. "Boys... come on. We need to talk. Is Joey hurting you when I'm not here?"

"Ow!" JD yelled. "Why'd you kick me?"

"Keep you mouth shut, JD!" Blue eyes flared in anger, and Vicki was terrified of where this was going.

JD shot Vin a narrow look as he yelled back, "No! I told you we should tell momma!"

"Ain't my momma! My Momma's dead!" Vin shouted and then bolted out of the chair.

"Vin! Vin! God Dammit!" she yelled as she caught hold of the back of his shirt when he made a dash for the door. She held the struggling boy in her arms. He was strong, but no match for her. "Vin, calm down." She tried rocking him, but he kept fighting her. She wrapped her arms around his arms, pinned his legs with her legs, effectively stopping his struggles. He panted harshly and his heart raced, thundering against his tiny chest so that Vicki could feel every thud.

"Vin, I've been trying, honey. You've been staying here for four months now and you still won't let me get close. I've been trying to give you a good home, but you have to let me help you." When he wouldn't answer, she looked to JD. "What happened?"

"I wanted to tell you Momma, but Joe said he'd make Vin go away. I don't wants Vin to go," JD wailed, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"JD, please, tell me what he did," Vicki begged.

"He tried to make Vin take off his pants and Vin wouldn't, so Joe punched him in the belly and made him throwed up. Then he held Vin down and took off his pants and stuck a big needle in Vin's leg. Then Vin felled down and bumped into the walls and Joe and Snake was laughing at him. He felled asleep and didn't get up for a really long time!"

She began rocking Vin, tears blurring her vision as she held the small boy. "I'm sorry honey. I won't let him hurt you again. You me and JD will go back to Boston, okay? I don't have any family left, but I've still got friends there. I've been meaning to go back ever since JD's daddy died, but one thing led to another and I'm still stuck here." She knew she was babbling, but hoped what she was saying would sink in; she was going to get them out of there, all of them. She sniffed back her tears, then looked to JD, tried to impress on him how important her words were going to be. "You can't tell anyone we're leaving, JD. You understand?"

"Why not? I gotta tell Mikey and Beth we're leaving!"

"No, JD," she choked, then cleared her throat to try again. "No, baby, you can't. Joe can't know until after we're gone. Do you understand me? If we're gonna be safe, nobody in the world but the three of us can know we're leaving."

"Okay, Momma. You won't let him hurt Vin again, will you?" JD asked, tears still streaming down his grubby face.

"Come here, baby. That must have been scary, huh? Did they hurt you too?" She was pretty sure they hadn't, but she needed to be positive.

JD climbed into his mother's lap, crowding Vin, who had gone still. "Snake catched me, but Joe told 'em not to hurt me. He said you give me a bath like a little baby and you'd know. I tolded Vin that he should let you give him baths too, then Joe wouldn't hurt him, but he was sleepin when I told him so's I guess he didn't hear me. What's a fairy, momma? Joe said you was gonna make me a fairy."

"When did this happen, JD?" Vicki asked over the lump in her throat.

"When you was at your day time work."

"How many days ago?" she asked, pressing a kiss to JD's forehead.

"Uhm... I don't know."

"The last time was two days ago." Vin whispered.

"The last time? How many times did he stick you?"

"Three days in a row."

"Vin, as soon as I get paid this week, we're leaving and Joe won't find us. Can you stay out of his way for that long?"

"He'll find us and kill us."

Vicki squeezed both kids a little tighter. "No, Vin, no! We'll go far away and everything will be fine, I promise."

Vin went limp and refused to look at her, his disbelief apparent. Hell, she couldn't blame him. It was hard enough to make herself believe she could actually pull it off and get them out of there. In the meantime, there were practical things to consider, aside from making sure the boys stayed clear of Joe till payday.

"Vin, I need to look at your leg to make sure you don't have an infection. Will you take off your pants and show me?"

"No!" Vin yelled, pushing her hands away from the snap on his jeans as more tears welled in the boy's eyes. "It's fine!"

"Okay, Okay. I won't look. It's okay, baby. Shhhh... I know, I know... You're fine. Everything's going to be okay." She kept up her words of comfort and reassurance, not sure that anything at all was going to be all right. She held both boys in her arms, rocking them, doing the only thing she could for them until they were asleep. She sat, holding the two of them until long after dark, dreading having to leave them to work. But she had no choice; they needed the money if they had a chance in hell of getting far enough away. All they had to do was hold on a few more days, till that next paycheck and then haul ass outta town. She could almost believe it, now.

********************************

"C'mon back to bed, stud," Buck called out sleepily, dragging a lazy hand down his chest to scratch his belly.

"Get your ass out of bed, Buck. Josiah will be here in ten."

Buck let out a put-upon sigh before he answered. "Dammit, Larabee. You stay in my house, eat my food, expect me to blow you, -- which I do, mind you, -- and then you yell at me. Where's the romance gone, pard?"

"You're a fucking comedian, aren'tcha Buck," Chris grumped as he pulled on his pants. "Twelve years on teams together and you haven't changed since the day we first met. Let's go, Lt."

"We've been out of the Navy six years, Larabee, you can stop orderin me around anytime."

"I'm still your superior officer, Agent Wilmington. Now get the lead out and if you're a good boy today, I'll blow you tonight."

Buck arched an eyebrow and sat up. "If you do, this day gets marked on my calendar. Can't remember the last time you gave me anything but your hand, stud. "

"Call me that again, Buck, and I'll shoot you."

"Dammit, Chris, now I remember why I don't invite you to stay over very often. You're a fucking grump," Buck groused, but at least got up, flinging the blankets as he stomped toward the can.

"I think it has something to do with the little fact your bed's usually got a woman in it, Buck. Might get crowded."

"Hell, Chris, told ya I'd share anytime you want to!" Buck yelled over his shoulder before heading to the toilet.

"Like I said, a fucking comedian. C'mon, we're serving the McKay warrant at 9:00 and I want breakfast first."

Breakfast and then a warrant served on a dirtbag arms and drugs dealer... Chris Larabee sure knew how to romance a fella, Buck thought with a snort.

************

 

" No, JD! Don't go in there! They're doin grown up things."

"But I'm hungry, Vin, and it's almost time for Momma to go to work."

"C'mon, I'll make you breakfast. How's Cocoa Puffs sound?"

"I'm Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!" JD yelled as he jumped up and down.

"Shush, JD."

JD clamped his mouth shut, remembering that his momma liked it that Vin knew when they should be quiet. He even did his best to tip-toe as they made their way to the kitchen.

Vin climbed onto the cabinet and pulled down two bowls before getting the milk from the fridge. Once he had both bowls of cereal ready, he called JD to help him. "C'mon, we'll eat in our room."

JD balanced his bowl and got ready to follow Vin. He'd do anything Vin said; he hadn't been lonely since the other little boy had come to live with them. He never wanted to be lonely like that again. Besides, Vin listened to him, really listened. Nobody else did that, not even his Mother -- all she ever did was work. But all that would be different soon, she promised him. She and Vin and JD would all move to Boston, where his Momma had been raised and he'd been born. He couldn't wait. 

"JD," Vin called out, "get the juice. You need vitamins. All you eat is junk."

JD sighed as he put down his bowl and opened the fridge. He grabbed a juice bag and stuck it in his pocket. At least they got to watch cartoons. Momma got him and Vin their very own TV and it got four channels. It was in their room, along with a twin bed they shared and a dresser. He even got Vin to jump from the dresser to the bed with him a few times. Maybe Vin would want to play more once they were away from Joe. JD just knew that lots of things would change once they didn't have to worry about Joe.

*******************

"Ezra, you sure they're alone in there?"

"Mr. Larabee, I assure you, I followed him all evening and he returned alone, at four AM. If we did not have enough for a warrant prior to last evening, his errands last night alone would provide us with sufficient probable cause to apprehend him."

"I asked a simple question, Ezra. I don't need a dissertation." Chris keyed his mike, alerting Nathan and Josiah the takedown was about to get underway.

Chris nodded to Buck, who'd taken position just inside the doorway to the tenement. Uniformed officers had cleared the streets and they'd just have to take their chances inside the building. Anything more would alert a man suspected of being responsible for more than one recent death. "Josiah, Nathan, you have our backs. We're going in."

Chris nodded and pointed to Buck, who was ready to go. On Chris' signal, he kicked in the apartment door. It took two kicks and his shoulder to get through the door. It finally splintered and slammed open and Buck led the way, shouting "Freeze! Federal Officers! Everybody on the floor, now!"

Chris came through the ruined door right behind him, Ezra following right on his heels. Chris took left, toward the kitchen, Buck the right, toward the living room and Ezra held the door. 

Chris caught movement out of the corner of his eye, the fleeing man a blur, and took off toward the bathroom and back room. "Gun!" Chris shouted as the man he was chasing brought up a .44 and fired two rounds at Chris. Chris tucked and rolled, feeling the bullet whiz past him. He dove onto the floor and fired a round in return, splintering the wooden bathroom doorway. Chris didn't need to think to know the bathroom led out into a small room in the back. He cautiously approached the doorway, knowing Ezra would stop anyone from coming up behind him.

"Shit," Chris muttered as the lights in the bathroom went out. He found himself backlit in the doorway and crawled on his belly further into the room so his silhouette wasn't nearly as good a target. He'd just reached the far doorway when he heard a child shout, "No! Lemme go!"

Chris keyed his mike and said, "I got a suspect and a kid back here."

"Dammit!" Buck cursed through the mike, "I got another kid somewhere in the bedroom over here as well. Another adult, too."

"Ezra, cover Buck," Chris nearly whispered into his mic. 

Chris dropped his hand from his radio and crawled further into the room, peering around the doorway. "Freeze!" he shouted, just as another round splintered the wood above his head, peppering him with wooden shards.

What he'd seen in the room would stay with him forever, he knew in an instant of perfect clarity. McKay had his arm wrapped around the throat of a little boy, the child suspended from the floor, shielding McKay's body. But in the mere instant, Chris had locked eyes with the child. It was the look in the boy's eyes that would haunt him. Fear, of course. But a knowing that only came from having seen too much. The boy knew his life was close to ending, yet he didn't seem panicked. He had the look of a combat veteran, a look Chris had seen in his own eyes often enough during his time with the SEALS. 

Chris sat back, catching his breath, giving himself a moment to think. He needed to get the kid away from the suspect. He made a connection with that child. In an instant. Fuck, he needed to clear his head. He couldn't let his emotions get in the way now. Usually, he used the fire in his gut to get what he wanted. Now, it could get a kid dead. He didn't give a shit about the lowlife holding the kid. His team had the fucking green light to take out any suspect he deemed a threat to their lives. His team left a trail of bodies behind them, but with the changes taking place in the world, he faced very little review. And any review he faced, his team always came out looking like heroes making their community safe.

He'd kill the scumbag using the little kid as a shield quicker than he'd draw a breath. Problem was, he'd likely take out the kid, too. 

"Let the boy go!" he shouted into the dark room. "You let him go, you get out of here alive."

"Right. I know who the fuck you are, Larabee. I watch the news. We both know what happens if I let the brat go."

Chris edged closer to the doorway again, trying to at least get a look into the room. Figure a way to get McKay to let down his defenses for just a second.

"You'd kill your own son?" Chris yelled.

"Ain't my son. Just street trash the old lady took in. Hell, no one gives a shit about him, no one but you. And that's good for me. Got a soft spot for kids, Larabee? Remind you of your dead kid? You want another dead kid on your conscience, supercop?"

Chris' mic screeched in his ear, Buck letting loose another curse. "Shit!" Chris kept his attention on the scene in front of him, still just out of line of sight, using the corner as cover. The back room lit up the instant Buck's shout came over the com. "Chris, second suspect coming your way..."

The two bedrooms were connected via the back hallway, Buck and the woman headed their way. "You're surrounded McKay, drop the kid and the gun!"

More shots fired in Chris' direction, plaster from the walls showering him from above.

"Joey! Let him go. I swear I'll shoot you. I shoulda done it a long time ago, you bastard!"

"Buck," Chris shouted. "Get her."

"Dammit, Chris." Buck breathed out, "she's holding a little kid. I can't shoot her. I got this end covered, no one's getting out of that room."

"Yeah, Buck, that's what I'm afraid of. On three," Chris whispered. He didn't bother counting. He and Buck knew each other long enough, the count was no longer needed aloud.

On three, Chris dove around the corner gun raised. The two suspects, each holding a child, one protecting, the other threatening, were squared off, guns raised. 

"Hold your fire!" Chris shouted to Buck, who squatted in the other doorway.

"Everybody drop your guns," Chris ordered.

"Joey, please," the woman begged. "Let him go. Use me as your hostage."

"Think these cops," he gestured toward Chris with his gun, "give a shit about some whore? Little Vin here," he tightened his arm around the boy's throat, "is my ticket outta here."

The woman cradled the other child, standing three-quarters, shielding him with her body, still pointing the gun at her lover. "Please, Joey, it's over. You'll be out on bail tonight."

"Bitch! You should be pointing that thing at them, not me!"

Chris saw it coming. He couldn't do anything about it without shooting the boy. "Buck!" he yelled as McKay shot one round.

Nothing moved in slow motion. The woman dropped, red blossoming outward from the hole in her chest. She fell to the ground in a heap, the child buried beneath her.

"Buck!" Chris yelled at the same time Buck yelled, "Ezra!"

Chris shot over the suspect's head, with no intention of shooting him, just giving Buck and Ezra enough cover to get the woman and child out of the room.

McKay returned fire, but he was aiming to kill. Chris felt the burn of a slug grazing his arm, then was slammed in the chest with a dead center shot. His body armor stopped it, but he was knocked on his ass, the breath slammed from his body. Shots from the other side of the room and he knew his men covered him while he was down.

"Don't shoot the kid!" he breathed, finally, into the mic.

It felt like a shooting gallery, but his men were pinned down. They wouldn't be able to get a clear shot while the bastard shielded himself with the boy.

A lull in the shooting and it was eerily quiet. No shouting, no crying from either of the children. Just labored breathing and the smell of gunpowder. Chris risked getting his head blown off to look around the corner, just in time to see a chair sail through the window. "No fucking way," Chris growled as he realized the suspect's intent.

"Josiah, Nathan," he hissed, "He's going to try for the back. If he gets through that window, take his ass down!"

Chris crawled back into the room, barely able to draw a breath and locked eyes with the suspect. Chris noted the man no longer held a gun, but he had a Swiss Army Knife, waving it at Chris, then holding it to the kid's throat. Must have finally run out of ammunition.

"You want him so bad?" McKay taunted Chris. "He's yours."

Chris saw the pocket knife moving closer to the boy's throat a moment too late. Was off his knees and on his feet in time to catch the thighs and waist of the child flung at him, but not nearly in time to keep McKay from slitting the boy's throat.

"No!" he shouted as the knife touched the boy's skin. "No!" he shouted again as the knife sliced from one side of his neck to the other.

McKay dropped the boy's shoulders and dove, head-first, out the window.

Chris made a dive of his own, catching the boy's upper body before his head slammed into the floor, locking eyes with him again, cradling him while he called, "Medic! Medic!" into the empty room.

Shots from outside and Chris knew McKay had stumbled into Josiah, Nathan, and probably Denver S.W.A.T. The bastard had to be dead, but at what price?

Within moments he was covered in blood, it poured from the boy's throat in a steady wash, but the bright red spurt of arterial blood was absent. Chris reached frantically with one hand, ripped a sheet from the bed and pressed it to the boy's throat, eyes still locked with the child, promises uttered fervently to the silent boy.

"Come on, come on..." Chris begged. "You aren't gonna let that bastard kill you, are you kid? You're worth ten of him, little guy, don't let him do this to you!"

The child's lips moved and Chris held him closer, trying to hear his words.

"JD?" he asked, his little voice gurgling, making Chris' stomach lurch.

"Is that your little brother?" Chris asked gently. "He'll be waiting for you at the hospital, you just gotta hold on, little guy."

God, he was going to hell, but that wasn't any big revelation. But lying to a dying child? Chris hadn't heard a word from the others about the small boy and the woman. He knew a kill shot when he saw one though. And a .44 would go right through the woman's body and tear into the boy.

"Hold on for your little brother, he's going to need you." Chris told him again, not caring about the guilt. He'd deal with that later. "Don't let that bastard leave him all alone, you hear me?"

Chris held him until the paramedics arrived. They ripped the child from him, leaving him covered in the boy's blood. The more he'd challenged the kid, the more he turned it into a battle between McKay and the boy, the harder he fought. His eyes, almost glazed over, held a resolve Chris recognized. 

******************

God, he didn't want to leave the scene. That meant going to the hospital and he didn't think he wanted to know what he'd find there, just yet. He stood in the early afternoon sun, watching the clean-up crews, the medical examiner, the forensics crews, the newspeople all scurrying around trying to do their jobs. He lit his third cigarette in twenty-minutes, watching as the last body was loaded into the meat wagon. Hell, this wasn't the time to second-think his choices.

Intel said this was the place to serve the warrant and he went with the intel this time. He hadn't had a sense things would go this badly. When he'd formed his team, part of the new branch of federal law enforcement, he'd been given the green light to do things as he saw fit. It wasn't the first time things had gone wrong, but it was the first time he held himself responsible for it.

He'd see it out to the end. Buck coming towards him caused him to put his game face back on. It was time for the reports.

"You need to go to the hospital."

"I will."

"Chris..."

"Not now, Buck. What'd you find in the apartment?"

"Three ounces of smack and a cache of small arms. No cash. Actually, you'd never know the guy was running drugs from looking at the place. It's a pit. No expensive electronics, no toys, no food in the cupboards. He's gotta be doing his business somewhere else. If it wasn't for the guns, the place would be pretty clean. We're running them through all the normal channels. I won't be surprised if a few come up with bodies on them."

Chris didn't answer, he was busy watching the street for members of McKay's crew. They had a list of four others they had warrants on. The day wouldn't be over until all were in custody.

Buck, as usual, read his mind.

"Let Denver PD get 'em Chris. You need stitches in that arm and I want to check on those two kids, even if you don't. How much of that blood's yours?"

"Not enough," Chris said as he ground his smoke out under his boot. "Let's go. You can drive me to the hospital." Chris pulled out his cell and dialed Ezra, who he could see talking to the forensics team just across the street. "Ezra," he said when Standish picked up. "I want everything you can get on the woman and kids. Send it to the hospital. I'll be there awhile, I think."

Chris ducked Buck's outstretched arm and growled, "Not now, Wilmington." He stormed to his truck and climbed into the passenger seat, starting the vehicle from the wrong side, knowing Buck would get the message.

The drive was made in silence, both men still processing the morning's operation.

"Chris," Buck said as Chris climbed out at the doors to the emergency room. "It wasn't your fault. Or mine, or Ezra's, or anyone else's but McKay's. And maybe the woman. Kids shouldn't have been there. It was her job to see they were safe. World's a shitty place, sometimes."

"You think?" Chris asked, not at all nicely as he turned his back to Buck and walked into the emergency room.

He was met with chaos and a long line to see the check in nurse. He fought the urge to flash his badge and walk to the front of the line. It didn't take long for the nurse to see him. It must have been the blood covering him, but as soon as she saw him, she ushered him into a cubicle and made him sit.

"Most of it's not mine," he told her.

"You wouldn't have walked in those doors if it was."

"You this nice to all your patients?"

"You don't look like the type of man who takes kindly to empty platitudes, Officer?"

"Agent Larabee."

"Please remove your vest and gun, Agent Larabee. You can keep your pants on, unless your legs are injured?"

When he shook his head, she handed him a bag. "Anyone with you to take your equipment?" she asked.

"Agent Wilmington is parking the vehicle."

"I'll send him in. The doctor will be with you shortly. We're a little busy." She stood, waiting, but when he turned around and began stripping, she let out a little huff and left the room.

Buck came through the curtain a moment later and stared at Chris' bare chest. "Shit, pard. You didn't say you'd taken one dead to center. You okay?"

"I'm fine, Buck."

"How're the kids?" Buck asked, obviously ready to let Chris shrug off his injuries.

"I have no idea," Chris answered and looked toward the tray of medical supplies the nurse had left behind.

"What do you mean, you have no idea? Haven't you asked?"

Chris jerked his eyes back to his friend, hoping he had his 'don't fuck with me' expression on, but felt too exhausted to hold it for long. "No, Buck, I haven't."

"I'll be back as soon as I get some information." Buck looked at Chris a little strangely for a second, then disappeared back through the curtains.

Chris was left alone with his thoughts again but he wasn't in the mood for thinking. He sat silently, waiting for the doctor to come to his cubicle. He tried to ignore the sounds around him. He really didn't want to know. He was off-center, entirely not used to avoiding things. God, what was wrong with him? He'd normally be storming the place, trying to find out what he needed to know. Only, what if he got the wrong answer?

"You're a goddamned coward, Larabee," he muttered as he stood up and pulled his blood-stained t-shirt back on. It was time to face things. He stepped out of his cubicle just in time to see Buck putting the moves on a very young PA.

"Buck?" he asked as he stepped between the two of them, ignoring the PA. "Where are they?"

"Sorry, darling," Buck said to the young woman, "police business. Chris, I was just coming back to tell you the good news." 

And Chris could see it was going to be good news. A blind and deaf man could read Buck's moods. His face shone, he nearly bounced onto his toes. Chris felt a weight he didn't know was there shift off his chest and he looked at Buck expectantly, as if to say, "go on!"

"The younger one's in surgery, but he's not critical. If nothing goes wrong, he'll be just fine."

"Until he wakes up an orphan," Chris said quietly.

"Dammit Chris," Buck fumed. "Let me be happy he's going to live for five minutes, would you! I don't want to think about how he's going to feel when he finds out his mama's dead!"

Buck was one of the most empathetic people Chris had ever met. He suddenly felt like a piece of shit for reminding him the boy had been orphaned. "I'm sorry, Buck. And the other boy?"

"He lost a lot of blood and there's some damage to his throat from being held in a choke hold for so long... but the Physician's Assistant used the phrase, 'guarded optimism.' That's good, right?"

"It's better than dead." Seeing the pained look he put on his best friend's face, Chris let his guard down a little. "I'm sorry Buck. I can't get the look in the kid's eyes out of my head. Where is he?"

"They brought him up to pediatric ICU just a few minutes ago."

"I'm going to check on him."

Buck put a hand out, pressed flat against Chris' chest. "Get yourself looked at first, he'll keep. Debbie said they had to sedate him. Kid lost half the blood in his body and he fought 'em. He's a tough little guy."

"Kid can't be more than six or seven Buck, he's not that tough." But Chris let Buck lead him back to the cubicle and he settled in to wait, knowingly putting off checking in on the boy. He couldn't put it off too long though, he wouldn't get the haunting blue eyes out of his mind until he saw him, alive and awake.

They had to wait nearly half an hour for a doctor to see them. She checked Chris' information silently, efficiently checked his arm, palpated his chest and wrote her notes, all without a word. Chris didn't mind, but Buck looked like he was about to have a fit. Finally, Chris asked, "I'm all set?"

The Doctor put down the chart and appraised him silently for a moment. She took in a deep breath and said, quickly, "Someone will be in to put a few stitches in your arm and prescribe your meds. But what I'm really worried about is blood contamination from the child, Agent Larabee."

"What do you mean?" Chris asked, not quite understanding where she was heading. After a moment or two, his overworked brain caught up. "Do you have any indication he's HIV positive?"

"I was part of the team working on him and while we weren't able to get a full exam the way he fought us, once we had him sedated, we found track marks on his inner thigh. An HIV test was ordered, but you should go on a preventative regime until we get the results."

Chris raised his arm to keep Buck from jumping in. "You found *what* on him? He's only a baby."

"Track marks. Fresh ones. Probably heroin. Our estimation is that he's six or seven, maybe a small eight. He didn't pump himself full of drugs, that's for sure."

"You have got to be kidding me," Chris hissed. "You're running tox screens?"

"Already ordered. We'll know more in a few hours. We've already called social services. His arms are a mass of old bruises in the shape of adult sized fingerprints and he's got a severe contusion on his lower abdomen. Both boys will be taken from the home, of course."

"Isn't a home anymore," Buck interrupted. "Both adults are dead."

"This is all going in your report?" Chris asked.

"Of course. You'll have it by the end of the day. When the younger one is in his room, we'll do a full exam on him as well. Hopefully, he won't be quite such a fighter. The older child bit one of the nurses. She's going on the meds. You should too, Agent Larabee. At least until we get the boy's results back. It will take about a week. We've done a rapid antibody test, and it was negative, but the more accurate test will take a week."

Chris nodded to her, stunned. He watched her gather his chart and leave the cubicle. When Buck opened his mouth, probably to remind him about the stitches, Chris barked, "Not now, Buck!" He grabbed his things and headed to the elevator, leaving Buck to deal with the paperwork.

Track marks! What kind of animal would shoot a child full of heroin? Was he testing it on the boy? Kid was lucky wasn't dead. McKay was definitely the source of the OD's, but there hadn't been one in over a week. He must have adjusted the cut and tested it on the boy. Convinced the day was never going to end, Chris leaned against the wall while he waited for the elevator. When people gave him strange looks, he didn't even react. He'd forgotten he was still covered in blood. His own and the boy's. The boy had a name, he reminded himself. Vin. That's what McKay had called him. Vin.

***********************

Chris stepped onto the quiet fifth floor and followed the signs to the pediatric ICU, intent on seeing the boy with his own eyes. Maybe then he could get the kid's face out of his head.

A nurse spotted him and cut him off at the doorway to the unit, blocking his way with her body. Chris showed his badge, obviously demanding to be let in.

"I'm sorry officer, but you can't go in like that."

How could he keep forgetting the way he looked? 

"I'm not leaving," he said quietly.

"I'm not asking you to," she answered, just as quietly. "I'll show you to a shower and you can borrow a pair of scrubs. I'll trust you to return them," she said, arching a blonde brow at him.

A shower might shake him out of the daze he realized he was in. "Okay." 

He followed her down a side corridor and let her show him the supplies, including the biohazard waste containers and the hospital strength antiseptic soap. Before he stepped under the spray, he tossed his old clothes, never wanting to see them again. 

He exited the showers feeling like a new man, physically. He shook his head at his reflection, hoping no one would mistake him for a doctor and headed back out to find the nurse.

"Agent Larabee?" she asked when she saw him. "I've got a message from the emergency department. They asked me to stitch you up. Follow me, please." 

Chris glanced down the corridor to where he thought the ward was before looking back to her. She looked like she was prepared for a fight, but he followed her without challenging her. She led him to a curtained off area off the main wing and pointed to a gurney. He sat.

She didn't talk to him at first, but as soon as she had her supplies ready, she started speaking quietly. "You're the one responsible for our newest patient?"

His head shot up and he glared at her. "I didn't do that to him!"

"No, no, that's not what I meant!" she answered just as quickly, jabbing him slightly when he tried to shake his arm free from her grip. "Relax, It'll be over quickly." She held his arm steady and went to work. After a moment, she said, "What I meant was, is he in your custody?"

"My custody?"

"Social services won't be here for awhile and usually when an unattended minor of questionable status is brought in, they're in police custody until child services makes legal arrangements. Sometimes it takes days. You're the first one to come up here, so I thought you were... well... taking responsibility for him."

"I'm federal, not local. I don't think I can do that."

"Oh."

He didn't ask her what that "Oh." meant. He'd heard it often enough, first from his mother and then his wife. Women had a way of saying everything with that one syllable. 

She wrapped a bandage around his arm and leaned back on her stool.

"Finished?" he asked. She nodded and looked like she was going to open her mouth again, but Chris beat her to it. "I'd like to see him."

"I figured as much. Follow me."

Chris followed the nurse down the main corridor, not making eye contact with any of the parents he passed. He knew what it felt like to be in their place and he felt like an intruder, suddenly. As they stepped into the main ICU ward, the nurse led him to the central nurses' station to pick up a chart. 

"Follow me," she nearly whispered.

He concentrated on not looking at any of the children hooked up to monitors and machines - or the parents sitting vigil. The boy was three beds from the nurse's station and the area around his bed was softly lit.

"I have his chart right here if you have any questions," the nurse said. She stepped back and Chris took his first look. 

His face half obscured by an oxygen mask, the boy's eyes were half open and glazed over.

"Is he awake?"

"No. He's sedated and borderline comatose. He lost a lot of blood."

"Is he going to be Okay?"

"It's too soon to tell. Sometimes, with blood loss, there's brain damage. Officer," she called his attention from the child with her sudden change in tone. "I hope you put away whoever is responsible for this."

"They're dead." 

"Oh. Oh. Well, that's good then," she managed to stammer. "I'll leave you to sit with him if you'd like. I'll be back to bathe him in a few minutes."

Chris noticed the boy was still smeared with blood. He shuddered as he remembered it pouring from his neck, seemingly endless.

He took his time studying the still child, starting at his head and moving downward. He lay on his back, arms and legs outstretched, a small towel covering his midsection, lines leading into all four limbs and his chest. Monitors beeped in time with his heart and a blood pressure cuff inflated softly. Bags of blood hung from above, slowly transfusing him.

Chris didn't know what to do with himself, he was afraid to touch but he couldn't look away. He didn't know how long he stood staring, watching for any small movements to indicate the boy was even slightly aware of his surroundings.

The nurse returned with a cart and began pulling the curtain around the boy's bed. It didn't close completely, privacy not a concern in this ward.

"You can stay if you'd like, but you'll need to sit on that stool over there."

Chris followed her instructions and sat in the corner, out of her way. 

As soon as she removed the towel covering him and began bathing him, the heart monitors began increasing their tempo. She spoke softly to the child as she bathed him, keeping her touches limited and brisk, but gentle. When she finished with his body, she covered him with a tiny hospital gown with horses on it, then moved to his head. She used damp towels on his hair, cleaning it as best she could, then drying it. She was finished within five minutes of starting.

She looked up and met Chris' accusing stare, only responding with a shrug. When he glared harder, she explained herself to him. 

"When most little ones are here, they crave touch. We touch them as much as we can. We bathe them frequently and take our time. I noticed as soon as he was brought in that it disturbs him. So, instead of taking my time, I touched him as little as possible. Look," she said, pointing to the heart monitor. "His heart rate's slowing back down. Normally, I tell visitors to touch the children, it helps them feel safe. But it would probably be better if you didn't touch him."

"I thought you said he was in a coma?"

"No, he's semi-comatose and semi-conscious. Between the blood loss and the drugs, he's pretty out of it, but he's still in there. Talk to him, if you'd like, but don't touch him. It's going to take awhile for him to settle down and he needs to be as still as possible. It will be a few hours, at least, before the drugs start wearing off."

She gathered her things and opened the curtain, leaving him alone with the boy in a room full of people.

He watched him silently from the corner for a few minutes, the hissing of the machines hovering between them. He wheeled his stool closer, close enough to touch.

"Hi, Vin," he finally said. "That's your name, isn't it?"

He watched him for a response, knowing it was too soon.

"I'm Chris. I'm not too good at this talking stuff, but I want to tell you you did real good. Your little brother's going to be fine, you know. He'll probably be right in this room with you before too long."

Chris stood and began pacing, short strides because of the equipment. When he noticed the nurse frowning at him, he took a seat again. Parents came and sat with the child in the next bed, instinctively reaching out to touch their child. He looked away quickly when tears started spilling down the father's face.

He stared at his hands awhile, not quite sure what to do with them.

The nurse came back over to check on Vin and Chris watched her put something in his eyes.

She spoke softly to him. "I can tape them shut or put lubrication in them. They'll dry out, open like that."

"Oh," Chris said. She finished her fussing and left them alone again, but not before telling him, "Talk to him. It sometimes helps."

He wanted to yell at her, wanted to scream that he didn't know what to say to a little boy whose entire world had just been ripped away from him. He'd seen it often enough in his line of work. It didn't matter how shitty that life was, or how bad the parents. It would still hurt. The boy would probably be happy McKay was dead, but what about the woman?

And the better question was just who was Vin? McKay had called him 'street trash.' He was way too young to be a street kid, but who was he?

Chris stood and stretched, pulling out his cell phone. There were no signs about phones, but he figured he wouldn't take the chance, so he went to the nurses station and pointed to the phone. "Mind if I use that?" he asked.

The nurse on duty shook her head, handing him the phone and hitting a button before wheeling herself over to the other half of the desk.

He dialed Ezra's cell phone, surprised when he picked up on the first ring.

"Standish."

"It's Chris. You get anything on the woman and kids yet?"

"Ah, Mr Larabee, I was just on my way to the hospital. I've found some interesting information."

"I'm up on the fifth floor. Pediatric ICU. Come find me." Chris hung up the phone before Ezra could respond, handing it back to the nurse with a, "Thanks."

He resumed his vigil by the silent child, not knowing how much time passed when he was surprised to his feet by a hand on his shoulder.

"Damn, Chris, you're jumpy."

"Buck," Chris hissed.

"Hell, old son, don't look at me like that. I know you ain't armed. I've got your piece, remember? How's he doin?"

"I don't know. Nurse says he might have brain damage from the loss of blood. Ezra's on his way with some information on them."

"Josiah and Nathan finished up at the scene a little bit ago. They're on their way too. Nurse Lynda says there's a conference room we can use just down the hall. I'd like to see how the little one's doing. She said he'll be up here soon, so if we can meet here, I won't have to come back. That okay with you?"

"It's fine, Buck." Chris sat back down, hoping Buck would go find a nurse to charm. He was busy putting all of his not inconsiderable will to getting the boy to wake up and be all right. It mattered to him that this boy be fine. His part in the child being injured might be easier to take if the boy was really okay.

Buck wandered off and Chris began speaking to Vin again. "You know, Vin, when you wake up you're going to find out McKay - -- Joey's - -- dead. We won. You and me. You're alive and that bastard's dead. He's never, ever going to touch you or your brother or mother again. He's never going to do anything again. Josiah and Nathan blew him to hell. Thought you'd like to know that. That's right, you've never seen Josiah and Nathan, or Ezra, have you. Me, you met, sort of. You had to have seen Buck. He's that tall, skinny fellow over there talking to the nurses. We're a team. We go around stopping guys like Joey from hurting people."

Only we hurt you, this time, Chris didn't say. Chris' pager went off, buzzing in his pocket and he didn't need to look at it to know the rest of the team was there. He went to gather Buck and meet the boys. Sooner this op was wrapped and the paperwork filed, the better he'd feel.

"Bye, Vin," he whispered, hovering uncertainly another long moment, then he turned and left the child alone.

******************

Chris eased his aching body into a seat at the conference table and opened the file Ezra slid before him. Now that he had information right before his eyes, he found himself oddly reluctant to know. He had a sinking feeling that the contents of this file wouldn't do a thing to help him sleep that night.

Still, he'd promised himself he'd see it through, so he picked up the handy little summary Ezra had placed on top of the complete file. The first item brought the tension back to his shoulders.

"Christ. Victoria Flaherty, age twenty? Hell, she was no more than a kid herself!" Chris grated, wishing he had a bottle of aspirin for his bourgeoning migraine. He put the summary back onto the file so he could dig the fingers of both hands into his temples.

"Indeed, the history on these people is rather grim," Ezra said, picking up his own copy of the summary. "If I may?" he asked.

Chris nodded yes, indicating Ezra should run down the facts for them since he'd be in a position to answer questions beyond what the summary supplied.

"Ms. Flaherty was born in South Boston, an area noted for its poverty-stricken, heavily Irish population."

"Not the upper crust of New England, that's for sure," Nathan added as he scanned his copy.

"Undeniably, crime is rampant in South Boston, as it is in most such economically depressed locales. Given her environment, it is not surprising that this young woman was subject to her apparent upbringing. Her father died in prison, an altercation with another inmate, and she was orphaned at age nine when her mother OD'd. Her file places her in no less than twelve foster homes between that time and her fifteen birthday, and it was shortly after that when social services became aware that she was pregnant."

Josiah broke the silence with the question that was foremost in Chris' mind. "That child she was carrying, is that the one just out of surgery? JD?"

"It is. Victoria gave birth to him in Boston, but she fled the area, leaving her halfway house with the baby and his father, sixteen-year-old John Dunne. This was when social services informed her that there would be a hearing to determine if the child would be taken from her care. John Dunne was also in the foster care system, so given that fact and his age, he was not considered a viable provider for Victoria and baby JD."

"Two teenagers on the run with a newborn baby. How in the hell did they survive?" Buck asked quietly.

"Apparently, they didn't," Chris answered, though he immediately regretted it. He just couldn't seem to stop venting his repugnance at the whole thing, and Buck seemed to be his unintentional target of the day.

But Buck being Buck, he shrugged it off and mostly ignored Chris' sarcasm.

"Indeed, life was not idyllic for Victoria and John Dunne. They arrived in the Denver area weeks after the birth of baby JD, and within months, John Dunne was picked up for prostitution. He died at age seventeen, shot while committing a convenience story robbery."

It wouldn't get any better, Chris knew. He half-scanned the summary as he listened to Ezra fill it in with details that made these kids' lives sickeningly vivid.

"Victoria was also picked up for prostitution, approximately two years ago, but there is nothing on her record before, or since then. Aside from her one arrest, the young woman is clean," Ezra said, his last statement spoken with a puzzlement Chris shared.

"So, if Victoria was clean, was the intel on her wrong?" Chris didn't need the extra guilt heaped on his plate, but if their intel wasn't reliable, he needed to know.

"I'll dig into it a little more, Chris," Josiah offered right away. "The more I look at this dossier and the reports of that apartment, the less likely it seems that she was involved in McKay's business."

"That cache of small arms was still locked up pretty tight, too," Nathan added. "I don't think that handgun she pulled out today came from that stash. She was no innocent, but it's possible she didn't know about the arms or the heroin."

Chris scrubbed his hands over his face. Fuck, he was tired. "All right, so where does Vin fit into this picture?"

The ring of Josiah's cell phone interrupted them briefly, but Josiah slid quietly back from the table, taking the call in the corner so they could continue.

Ezra cocked his head before answering. "Statements from neighbors place Vin in the apartment approximately four months ago. They were told he was a cousin of JD's, who'd come to live with his 'Aunt Vicki.' Obviously, that bit of information is suspect to say the least, but it's all we have to go on. We have no records of young Vin otherwise."

Josiah came back to the table, flipped his phone closed, and looked to Chris.

"Update, I gather?" Chris said.

"Yep. In addition to her part-time work at the laundromat, Victoria Flaherty worked as the night desk clerk at the Cozy Corner Motel," Josiah said, jotting that note on his summary copy.

"She was an employee there? She wasn't the working girl spotted going in and out and meeting with McKay?" Chris asked leaning over the table.

"Nope," Josiah answered, not needing to elaborate, and not needing to tell them what that meant to their case, and to those two traumatized boys.

"So, what happens to the boys now?" Josiah asked, as though he could read Chris' mind.

All eyes turned to Chris, and he wasn't sure he could stand the weight of those stares. He cleared his throat and after a lengthy silence, replied, "Social Services takes custody of Vin and JD, we find that working girl, arrest her ass, and we close the case."

Wouldn't be that simple, and Chris knew it. From the array of frowns and arched eyebrows, the others knew it, too.

*******************

"Chris! Wait up," Buck called to Chris as he hurried down the hallway. He couldn't let it go. He had to see Vin again. He clutched the case folders to his chest and waited for Buck.

"What?" Chris asked.

"Was wondering if you were staying here for awhile or headed home. I've still got your keys. Guess our date's cancelled," Buck said with a small smile.

Chris rolled his eyes, but grinned a little. "I'll make it up to you Buck. I'm going to hang out here for awhile. You can take my truck, I'll take a cab to your place."

"Hell, no!" Buck said. "I'm staying too."

"Suit yourself." Chris turned his back on Buck and entered the quiet ICU, avoiding eye contact with the other families as he made his way back to Vin's bedside. The uncomfortable stool had been replaced with an ugly green hospital recliner. Chris settled into it, but didn't lean back. He pulled his briefcase onto his lap and started writing his reports.

"I'm Sue," the nurse who'd attended Vin earlier said to him. "I thought you might be back, so I had a more comfortable chair put out for you. There aren't any visiting hours in this ward. Parents can come and go. He," she gestured at Vin, "doesn't have any parents, but you'll do."

"Thanks," Chris told her, meaning it.

"His little brother was brought up awhile ago. He's across the room. Looks like your friend already found him."

Chris watched Buck talk to the nursing staff for a few minutes. He had a rare, serious look on his face, nodding intently at the instructions he was being given. Chris turned back to his reports, but a new addition to Vin's environment caught his eye.

A piece of masking tape, at the foot of his bed, written in black marker - 'Vin Dunne.'

"That doesn't sound right, does it, Vin? Who are you?" he asked the silent boy.

Chris woke to someone calling his name and he startled awake, his briefcase dropping to the floor before he could catch it.

"What?" he mumbled as he rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry to wake you sir, but I need to get to your son."

A new nurse. A man this time and Chris shook the remnants of sleep free before standing to stretch his legs.

"I'm Rick and I'll be done in just a few minutes if you want to take a walk..."

Chris took the hint and wandered over to where he'd seen Buck earlier. As soon as he turned the corner and was out from behind the nurses station, he stopped dead in his tracks. Buck was still there - Chris expected him to be, but he didn't expect him to find him with an armful of little boy, rocking gently.

Buck caught his eye over the boy's head and gave him a small grin. Caught red-handed, Buck's grin said he obviously didn't care. Buck tilted his head, inviting Chris over to his side, motioning toward a stool.

"What are you doing, Buck?" Chris nearly whispered.

"He woke up screaming for his Mama, I couldn't help myself. I reached out and ended up with an armful of JD. He hasn't let go since. He stopped crying a little while ago - I think he's asleep now."

"He okay?"

"Slug entered him high in the chest, ripped him up good inside, but the Doc says he's going to be okay in time. He's in for a world of hurt, but kids bounce back quick, Lynda said."

"Lynda?"

"Nurse who was here last shift, remember?"

Chris nodded absently. "Social services show up yet?"

Buck just looked at him and Chris felt like a jerk. Dammit, Buck was gonna get attached, he was trying to save his best friend some heartache.

"I guess they'll come by in the morning," Chris said quietly.

"Well, this little guy needs someone to hold him now, not in the morning," Buck hissed. "He had me near to bawlin' too, the way he was screaming for his Mama and Vin. He don't understand, Chris."

Tears welled up in Buck's eyes, but they didn't fall and Chris had to look away before he started tearing up too. "You gonna spend the night?" he asked Buck.

"Until they kick me out, I guess."

"I need to get some sleep before I see the director in the morning. Can I stay at your place?"

"Hell, Chris, you know mi casa es su casa."

"Thanks, Buck. I'll see you at your place." Chris went back to Vin's bedside and gathered his things, almost reaching out to pat his leg before he remembered not to touch. He leaned down close and whispered, "I'll be back."

***************

Chris pulled into the hospital parking lot, happy to have a little good news, at least. His team had been cleared from the operation, their actions justified and the woman and children deemed unfortunate, unavoidable casualties. A stash of automatic weapons and over 50 kilos of mexican Mexican brown was found in the gang's bar hangout and the rest of the gang rounded up and arrested-- including the hooker intel had confused for Victoria Flaherty. It'd been a long day, but at least it was over. His team would take a few days off to recoup and they'd move on to their next case. For them, at least, it was over.

He hadn't seen Buck since the night before, his right hand man had spent the night at the hospital, then gone home to sleep. Denver S.W.A.T took down the rest of the gang, leaving he and Ezra in meetings all day while Josiah and Nathan conducted neighborhood interviews. He knew he should head home and go to sleep, but his empty ranch house wasn't really home, hadn't been for years. 

He missed having horses, but he wasn't home enough to care for them. Maybe he'd get himself a horse and start spending more time riding the land. He was itching for a change, had been for months, but he hadn't told anyone, not even Buck. While his superiors had cleared his team and the op, it just didn't sit right with Chris. He told himself over and over while he'd tossed and turned in bed the night before that he should have gone over the intel himself, should have done more background before he'd agreed to serve the warrant. It shouldn't have been so easy to write off the woman and kids. A brave new world, he reminded himself, again. Post 9/11 America was becoming a scary place, even for a law-enforcement officer. His powers, and responsibilities, were growing with each new security law passed. And while it made his job easier, it just didn't sit right with him personally.

He was all about taking down people who preyed on others. It was all he had left, really. It was a great outlet for his hurt and anger. Buck following along every step of the way. But he also believed in a person's right to do what they wanted without interference. It was hard to reconcile the two and he'd stopped trying. Until he'd been covered in a little boy's blood, that was.

Could have, should have. An old record that wouldn't stop turning. He sat in his truck for a few minutes, wondering what had brought him here of all places. He didn't need to wonder long, serious blue eyes and a small, broken body not leaving his head for even a moment over the past thirty-six hours.

When he'd talked to Buck, Buck told him both boys were doing better than expected and that they had been moved to a regular ward first thing in the morning. Vin was still sluggish, but coming around and JD was clinging to anyone who would hold him, crying for his Mama and brother, scared to death and not trying to hide it. Buck had stayed until he was seeing double from lack of sleep and stress. 

Chris swung out of his truck and headed toward the building, his take-out dinner and his briefcase in his hands. He had work to do and this was a good a place as any to do it.

He stopped at the main information desk, where flashing his badge got him a room number. At least the boys were together. He wished he'd been there when Buck fought for that concession. While a great charmer, Buck could also be a force of nature when he wanted something... including dragging Chris' sorry ass back from the brink of self-destruction.

Chris turned the corner and spotted the room immediately, seeing what must have been half the staff from the entire ward hovering around the doorway. Curiosity made him increase his stride, ignoring a call to wait before he shouldered his way past the staff and into the room.

It took him a moment to make sense of what he saw. Blood was everywhere and the two boys were both in their beds, JD crying, again, and Vin with his face turned so no one could look at him. He was naked except a covering over his groin and his body shook from his silent tears.

Worst of all, Vin's arms and legs were tied to the bedrails with gauze strips. He struggled against the bonds, catching the nurse's attention.

"You stop that, right now!" she ordered the squirming boy. "We're trying to help you, young man!"

Chris had seen enough. "What's going on!" he demanded to know. "Untie him!" he ordered.

"Who are you?" the woman in charge shot right back.

"Agent Larabee," he said, flashing his badge. 

"Well, Agent Larabee," the nurse said, "I won't tell you how to arrest criminals and you don't tell me how to deal with uncooperative children."

"In case you haven't noticed, ma'am," he said, icily, "these boys have had a rough couple of days. They're not uncooperative, they're scared half to death. If you can't see that, you should put your nursing degree back in the Cracker Jack box you found it in!"

"You can leave right now, Mr. Larabee and you might be allowed back later."

"I'm not leaving this room until that boy is untied from that bed."

"He's restrained for his own protection. He ripped out his central line, if you must know, and he bit two of my staff and tried to stab me with a fork. The restraints stay until we get him under control. He could have killed himself ripping out that line like that!" She threw her supplies onto the bed at Vin's feet and crossed her arms. "I'll call security if you don't leave this instant."

"No!" JD yelled. "Don't go! Where's Buck? Help!"

Chris was ready to arrest the woman for child abuse before he got hold of himself. The battle looked like it had been waging for hours, the room a disaster, food trays scattered, food on the walls, a cart knocked over, water on the floor. How could two hurt little boys cause all this?

He wasn't helping matters any by escalating the conflict. He would take a step back from the stand-off if it meant helping the kids settle. "How about we all settle down, ma'am. I was here half the night with them, let me see if I can help."

"Be my guest," she harumphed, stepping out into the hallway to instruct her staff.

"JD. JD. JD!" Chris finally had to shout to be heard over the hysterical little boy.

"They tried to stick-ded Vin with a needle. It was really big," JD gulped out around big breaths of air. "He made blood go everywhere! Then she gave him a bath and made him naked. Vin don't like to be naked! She made him cry."

"He didn't like that, huh?" Chris asked as he moved closer to the bed. He needed to get JD quiet before he could deal with Vin. "You okay?"

He shook his head no and said, "Hurts," before starting up with the tears again.

Chris hit number one on his speed-dial and had Buck on the line before JD could really get to wailing again. "Buck, get to the hospital. Room 592. Lights and sirens. No, no, relax. It's an emotional emergency, not a medical one, but it's getting ugly."

He tried to listen to Buck but he couldn't hear him. "Just hurry!" he said as he flipped his phone shut.

He turned back to JD and asked, "You think you can help me see to Vin?"

The little boy nodded, his black hair swishing around his face and he, thankfully, stopped wailing.

"Okay, then," Chris said softly. "How about you sit back and talk to him, okay? Can you do that?"

JD nodded and Chris turned to Vin. "Hey, little guy," he said. "Do you remember me?"

Vin wouldn't look at him or talk to him, though his small chest heaved with the exertion of his harsh panting. He'd stopped struggling against the restraints, at least.

"I'm not going to hurt you," Chris told him softly. "I know you're scared and I know you only lashed out because you're scared, but I need you to work with me. Can you do that?"

Vin still wouldn't look at him or answer him, so Chris nodded to JD, who'd been watching him intently.

JD tried to climb down, but Chris picked him up. "I don't think that's a good idea, sport. You're going to make yourself hurt again if you move too much." He lifted JD, careful of all the lines attached to him, and sat down in a chair he snagged with his foot.

"Let's all sit and talk for a few minutes, okay?" Chris said to the two boys. Once settled in the chair, JD's legs wrapped around his waist and the little head resting on his shoulders, Chris took a deep breath and tried to repair some damage.

"Vin, JD, I need you both to listen to me for a few minutes, all right?" JD nodded his head against Chris, but Vin was still ignoring them, ragged sniffles the only sounds he made. 

"I know you're scared, I'd be scared too, if I was you, but everyone's trying to help you."

"Even the mean lady with the big needles?" JD asked softly.

"Yeah, kiddo, even her. Vin, all that stuff on you and in you, it's there to make you better. Some of it's to make you stop hurting and some's so you don't get sicker. I don't know what all of it does, but if it will make you feel better, we can ask the nice nurse I met last night. But, just remember, it's helping you get better so you can leave the hospital. "

"Then what?" came a soft raspy voice.

Oh shit. He should have seen that one coming. "Let's not worry about that just now. I'm worried about how you're feeling and making sure you're okay."

"Why?" that painful sounding voice asked again. He still wasn't looking at Chris, but at least he was interacting.

"I don't like to see anyone hurting, Vin. Especially not little boys who didn't do anything to deserve it."

Vin's shoulders started shaking and Chris leaned forward, still holding onto JD. "Vin, are you cold?" he asked. "You can't be comfortable with your hair all wet like that."

"I want my pants," Vin said softly around a sniffle.

"I'll bring you some Pajamas later, okay?"

Vin turned to look at him and nodded his head, meeting Chris' eyes for the first time since they stared across a tiny room. Vin would hold him to that promise, he could see. He could read the kid like he was looking at a mirror image of himself. It threw him a little and he tried to send a promise of his own. He would be back. He wouldn't abandon a little boy abandoned too many times already.

"Don't like bein' tied up. Ain't right, tyin' up little kids," Vin said, his tiny voice sounding strained.

Chris swallowed a hard lump in his throat before he answered. "No, it's not right at all, and we're gonna do something about that soon. Just hold on a little longer for me, all right?"

Vin nodded, then burrowed his tear-streaked face into his pillow. 

He sat quietly with the two boys, letting Vin compose himself and JD fall asleep against his shoulder. When Buck came in the room a few minutes later, Chris handed JD to him and moved closer to Vin's bed. He motioned for Buck to sit on JD's bed and he leaned closer to Vin.

"Vin, if I untie you now, will you be still? If you want to, you can sit with me for a few minutes. We'll let them clean the room and make your bed. I won't leave you alone with them."

Vin nodded and Chris stood slowly, looking around the room for a gown for Vin. He found one on the floor near the overturned cart and covered him with it, but didn't fasten it around his neck. He released his arms first, rubbing softly against the faint red marks, then turned to release his feet. Vin kept his word, but Chris hadn't been worried about that.

"I'm going to pick you up now, blanket and all, and you tell me if it hurts, okay?"

Vin nodded and Chris bent over him and gently lifted him. He kicked the chair away from the mess near the beds and motioned to Buck. "Buck, you want to help me with all this stuff so I can get to the recliner?"

Buck settled JD into bed then helped Chris. Vin was still attached to monitors, IV's and a catheter. It wasn't easy getting it all straightened out, but they managed and Chris sat, still cradling the frightened child.

"Better?" he asked in the general direction of the shaggy dark blond head resting against his shoulder.

The head nodded slowly and Chris leaned back into the chair.

"You can go to sleep," Chris whispered to him. "I got your back."

Vin nodded again, his cheek rubbing against the cotton of Chris' shirt. The boy took a couple of deep breaths, and Chris knew he'd be drifting off soon. He'd been through too much and pumped too full of sedatives to hold off much longer.

Chris couldn't help but notice that as Vin finally did fall asleep, he did so with his little arms wrapped around himself. Even though he leaned against Chris, trusted him enough to not fight sleep any longer, he didn't trust him enough to let himself be held the way most kids did, arms flung around the adult doing the holding. It was eerily similar to how Chris sometimes felt about other people; lean on 'em when you trust 'em enough, but don't embrace 'em. Vin was just too damn young to have to live like that.

Chris himself dozed a little, half-listening to the sounds around him, pleased to note that it didn't take long for one of the staff to clean up Vin's bed. Chris had been prepared to shoot his best glare at the first person to comment on his having untied Vin, but found it unnecessary when the young woman simply looked at them both curled up on the chair and smiled while going about getting clean sheets and pillowcases fitted.

After a couple hours, his ass was numb and he was getting a cramp in one thigh, but he didn't intend to move just yet. He reminded himself that those minor discomforts were nothing compared to this child's. If the worst Chris had to suffer through was more time plopped on an ugly hospital recliner, he had little bitch about.

He craned his neck to try to study the small face a little more. Vin obviously was in a restless sleep, at best, given the furrow between his eyebrows. The soft puffs of his breath were regular, but a small sigh or faint whimper escaped his lips now and then. Chris wished he could do something more to soothe him, but was at a loss. Vin was skittish about being touched, and the reasons why made Chris' blood boil. Aside from the horrors the boy had been through, it meant that Vin had also been robbed of the touch that every child was entitled to; a gentle hand over face and limbs that told a child he'd be okay, that someone cared for him and would take care of him. 

Chris sure wasn't someone to get that message across with words, and if he couldn't do it with the instinctive touch he craved to offer, he wasn't sure how he'd do it.

"Well, don't you look cozy?" Buck's whisper teased.

Chris looked up, trying to muster a sarcastic expression, but couldn't pull it off. "Ass."

Buck chuckled softly. "JD's sleeping pretty sound, so I'm gonna take a minute to see what kind of grub in that machine passes for a sandwich. Can I getcha anything?"

"No thanks, Buck. I got a sub in my carryout bag over there. It's a big one; you're welcome to half."

Buck's eyes lit up, and Chris grinned. Only a pretty new girl to meet or a pile of pastrami could put that light in Buck's eyes. "Whole wheat?"

"Yes, Buck, now git, before you drool all over the boy, here."

Buck tapped a two-finger salute to his forehead, then crept around Chris' chair for the food. He was gone a minute later, back behind the privacy curtain around JD's bed, but apparently not gone soon enough. Vin began to stir, his quiet whimpers catching in his abused throat.

"Easy, Vin," Chris whispered, "I gotcha. You're safe."

His whimpers ceased, but he still squirmed, just a little bit.

"What's wrong, pal?"

Vin turned his head up to look at Chris, a frown turning his full lips down, and that furrow in his brows deepened. "Don't like this thing in me. Ain't right."

"What thing, Vin?"

"That thing down there," he said, his voice straining even more with his distress.

Chris was at a loss for a split second, till he saw Vin's fingers tugging at the little gown, right about groin level. "Oh... the catheter... yeah, that has to be uncomfortable, huh."

"Ain't right, puttin' things in a boy's pee-pee. It's mean," Vin rasped, his eyes beginning to shine with threatening new tears.

Chris winced in sympathy. "I know it feels strange, and we'll get it out soon, Vin. The nurses didn't do it to be mean."

"Then why?" he asked, his eyes seeming to get larger.

"Because when you're sick, sometimes the medicine they have to give you makes you so sleepy that you can't wake up to go to the potty. The catheter helps you so you don't have an accident."

Vin sniffled, obviously trying not to get worked up. "Don't like it."

"I know, buddy. And the next time we see a nurse, I'll ask when we can take it out. Okay?" Chris asked, praying Vin would agree, and that when a nurse did come along, she wouldn't be a hard-ass about it.

Vin nodded, but reluctantly, and still tugged at the gown. He didn't reach further down to try to remove it himself, though, which proved to Chris that with a little patience, Vin would be no more uncooperative than any child who'd gone through so much. Hell, he'd like to see most adults come through a trauma like this one half as well as Vin had so far.

"It's almost time for the check on your chart, so it won't be long now. Hold on, Vin," Chris encouraged, and this time got a faster nod as his reward.

***************

Vin was sleeping again the next time one of the nurses came in to check on him. Sue, this time, Chris realized, sneaking a look at her name tag. Buck had slipped out earlier, but not before giving Chris the piece of advice that learning the nurse's names wasn't just a way to get a phone number, but also a way to stay on good terms with the people who took the most direct care of the boys.

"Any reason to keep the catheter?" Chris asked, his voice a whisper-- but a polite one, he hoped, for Vin's sake. "It's bugging the hell out of him."

"He's been conscious enough the last several hours, so I think he's about ready to have it out now. I'll have to confirm it with Dr. Reed, but I don't think it'll be a problem," she answered him with a smile directed at Vin's face.

Chris glanced down at him, too, wanting to make sure he was really sleeping before he spoke again. "I need to know something else, while you're here."

"Of course," Sue answered, glancing up for just a second from checking Vin's pulse. 

"Are most of the nursing staff here experienced with dealing with traumatized children?"

Chris didn't want to be accusatory, but he couldn't help but have the earlier scene in his head, these poor kids scared to death, and still being poked and prodded-- and tied to the bed, in Vin's case.

Sue sighed softly and met Chris' stare. "Some of us have more experience than others with children who've been through these kinds of ordeals. I can promise you, though, that every single one of us only does what we feel we have to in order to see these kids healthy again. Their well-being is the number one priority with all of us."

Chris nodded. He understood that, and he believed it, but still... He looked down at Vin's face, still so guarded, even in sleep. "They've been through hell only knows what kinds of abuse. They're going to need more patience than some of the staff are used to, I'm guessing. I'm just hoping the staff will show a little more respect for Vin's need for privacy."

To her credit, Sue didn't appear offended at Chris' statements. She just continued checking Vin's vitals as she answered. "I'll see that word filters through the other shifts that Vin has issues with nudity and privacy. It's not normally a concern in this ward, Agent Larabee, so it doesn't occur to most of the staff. But if we know a child has particular issues, we keep them in mind."

"Good," Chris said. "I appreciate you for seeing to that for me."

"You're welcome," Sue said, and stood. "But you'll also have to understand, that sometimes the kids are going to be upset, and there won't be a lot we can do, but try to comfort them. If something is in their best interest, we can't avoid it just to avoid tears. Their health is our priority."

Chris nodded his understanding. He didn't like it, but she was right. There was a reason those in the medical field had to keep a professional distance, he realized. It wasn't a whole lot different than law enforcement in that regard. They could be compassionate, but not at the expense of the children's health.

"Well, then. I'll contact Dr. Reed, and if he gives the go-ahead, we'll remove Vin's catheter."

"Thank you, Sue," Chris said as she turned to go.

"You're welcome," she answered, looking back over her shoulder. 

Twenty minutes later, she was back, and wearing a soft smile that told Chris good things about that catheter. "Should I take him from you, or can you stand with him like that?"

"I got him," Chris said, and carefully hauled himself out of the chair. Sue helped manage the tubes and wires, and Chris gently settled Vin onto the bed.

"Vin?" Sue said softly, giving him a gentle shake on his shoulder. Vin roused and his eyes opened blearily. "I hear you're about ready to have that catheter out. You ready to do that now?"

Vin nodded, fingering the little gown absently.

"You want me to back away for a minute?" Chris asked, speaking as much to Vin as to Sue.

Vin's eyes popped open wide at that, and he clutched for Chris' arm. "Don't leave me!" he rasped.

"Okay, buddy. I'll stay right here. It'll be all right."

Chris held Vin's small hand in his own, giving him his most reassuring smile as Sue lifted the hospital gown and Vin's breath became labored.

"Almost over, Vin," Sue assured.

Chris kept his eyes on Vin's face, as much to give Vin someone to focus on as to show that he would respect Vin's privacy. Tears welled in the little boy's eyes, and the sight of them triggered a lump in Chris' throat.

A relieved exhale from Vin's lips came at the same time Sue pulled the gown back down, whispering gently, "All done, now."

"Thanks, Sue," Chris said, meeting the woman's eyes, hoping his sincerity showed.

"You're very welcome. So, does that feel better, now, Vin?"

Vin nodded, his softly whispered 'yeah' barely audible.

"Good. Try to get some more sleep. If you need to urinate, you can use this funny looking little bottle, here," Sue said, showing Vin the bottle hooked onto the side of the bed.

"What if I gotta... you know... number two?" Vin asked, eyes wide with worry.

"Ah, well, if Agent Larabee isn't here to help you, or if you'd rather have a nurse help you, all you have to do is push this little button here, and one of us will come in and help you use the bedpan."

"Bedpan?" Vin asked, confusion drawing his eyebrows together.

Sue pulled one from the shelf on the rolling bedside table and showed it to him. From the way the little boy's eyes narrowed even further, Chris knew an objection was coming.

"I ain't doing my business in that," Vin said, his reaction predictable.

"I'm sorry, kiddo," Chris said. "Until you have all these wires and tubes off of you, we aren't going to be able to get you into the bathroom."

"It's a baby potty," Vin whispered, his face pained.

"Oh, honey, it's not," Sue assured him. "Even grown-ups and big boys have to use that when we can't get them into the bathroom yet. It should only be for a couple more days, and then you'll be able to go into the bathroom without any trouble at all."

Vin crossed his arms, a picture of miniature defiance, and gave the bedpan a murderous glare, looking for all the world like he wasn't going to budge.

"Sorry, pal, but this thing isn't negotiable," Chris told him, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"Huh?"

"That means you can't have your way this time," Sue explained. "It's not so bad, Vin, I promise. All you have to do is slide the bedpan under your bottom, do what you have to do, and whoever is helping you can put it on the shelf for a few minutes until one of us takes it away for you."

Vin let out a put-upon sigh. "Don't want people watchin' me. Ain't right doing that in front of people." 

"How about if we close the curtain and use the blanket to give you a little privacy?" Chris asked.

"Okay," Vin said, but didn't seem too sure. 

"See? It won't be so bad. Do you have to go now?" Sue asked.

"Nope. Just wanted to know, is all."

Chris grinned. All that argument, and the kid didn't even have to go. A part of him was impressed that Vin liked to be aware of his options and thought of things ahead of time. He knew federal agents who couldn't manage to be as prepared as this seven-year-old boy.

"I'll be back in a while to check on you and JD. Have a good sleep, Vin," Sue said, smiling at them both as she left.

"Thanks," he answered quietly, yawning.

"Sleepy again, huh," Chris said, more thrilled than he could comprehend that Vin hadn't yet tried to pull his hand away. It wasn't a hug, but it was a form of physical comfort that Chris could relate to-- something that assured him he was actually helping this child.

Vin nodded yes and his eyes fluttered shut. Chris thought he'd just drift off again, so when Vin spoke, he was a little surprised. "You gonna leave if I go to sleep?"

"That's up to you, Vin. Do you want me to stay?" Chris asked and held his breath. It was shocking to him how much Vin's answer meant to him.

Vin opened his eyes and locked gazes with him, seeming to almost study him. It was eerie, to see a child this young try to weigh a person's character by their eyes, and Chris wondered if it was just as instinctive for the boy as it was for him.

"Yeah, I reckon I want you to stay," Vin finally answered softly and let his eyes drift shut again.

"Get some rest, pal. I'll be here when you wake up," Chris said.

Vin nodded, and pulled his hand away at last, snuggling both of his hands under the blanket. Chris stayed where he was, leaning over the bed, until Vin's breathing evened out.

He sat back in the chair, and tried to be quiet as he snagged his carryout bag for the other half of his sandwich. He wolfed it down, not realizing how hungry he was until the first bite. He thought about getting a little paperwork done, but he was feeling pretty beat. He leaned back in the recliner, grateful that despite being ugly as sin, it was really pretty comfortable.

He wasn't sure when he ended up with the extra blanket over him, but he was pretty sure he had Sue to thank. He'd have to remember these little acts of compassion the next time one of the boys went through another one of those good-for-their-health necessary evils.

=========

Chris came awake slowly, not sure what in the world was making that steady beeping sound. When he opened his eyes, it was to blinking lights and medical equipment. Hospital, he realized. He sat up straighter, working the kink out of his back, and at last he looked to Vin's bed.

It unnerved Chris to see that Vin was wide awake, just quietly watching him. It felt too much as though Vin was the one watching over him, rather than the other way around.

"Hey, kiddo, how're you feeling?"

Vin shrugged a little, and whispered, "Okay, I guess."

Chris leaned a little closer toward the bed. "You guess, huh? Anything I can do to help?"

Vin just shrugged again and looked away, fiddling with the corner of his blanket.

"You know you can tell me if you need something, right?" Chris said, ducking his head to get a better glimpse of Vin's face.

Finally, the boy lifted his face to meet Chris' eyes. He pointed vaguely at his throat. "Itches."

"Aw, I'm sorry, Vin. I guess it hurts some, too."

Vin nodded and looked away again. Wasn't fair that the boy felt reluctant to say so when he when he was uncomfortable. Probably wasn't used to feeling free to expressing his needs, Chris figured, seeing the kind of treatment he'd been subjected to while in Victoria Flaherty's dubious care.

"I'll get one of the nurses and we'll see if we can get you something for it. Okay?" 

"Don't wanna be a baby," Vin said softly, uncertainty on his face.

"It's not being a baby. If I was stuck in here, with itchy stitches and a pain in my throat, I'd want some help, too," Chris said, hoping to ease Vin's fears.

The boy looked up at him, watching his face for a moment, then finally nodded.

"All right, then. I'll be right back."

Chris ventured into the hall, and spotted one of the nurses at the station. Lynda this time, the one Buck had spoken with about JD. She looked up as Chris approached the counter. "Mr. Larabee. What can I do for you?"

"Hi, Lynda. Can we get something for Vin's stitches? He's hurting some, and they're starting to itch."

She stood right away, leaving her paperwork on her desk. "Sure. I'll get some anti-itch cream. If he's not tempted to scratch, that'll help with the pain, too. He's due for another dose of his pain meds in about half an hour. If he can hold on that long, it'll be better for him. We need to get his blood chemistry stable." 

"But how long before it kicks in?" Chris asked, worried about leaving Vin in pain longer than absolutely necessary.

"It'll go in straight through his IV," Lynda answered, a reassuring smile on her face. "It'll kick in within a couple minutes. It's not like a tablet, where it could take another thirty minutes to an hour."

"I think he can hang on," Chris said, glad that relief wasn't that far off. "He was a little hesitant to even say anything to me, so I don't think it's so bad that he can't wait."

Lynda unlocked a cabinet on the far wall at the nurses station and pulled out a small tube. "He tends to be a stoic little boy, doesn't he?" she said as she came out from behind the tall counter.

"I just hope he's not too stoic," Chris replied, still concerned about Vin's habits from his past treatment.

Lynda shrugged as they headed back to the room. "He's too little for that, I think. The young ones rarely wait too long before they tell you what they need. I think your first instinct was right, that his hesitancy means it's not urgent yet."

Chris nodded, and together they walked up to the bed. Vin looked up at them, wariness lighting his darting eyes.

"It's all right, kiddo. Lynda has some cream for your throat."

"We'll put a little of this on your stitches, and that'll keep them from itching so much. You'll be getting more medicine for the pain, soon, too," Lynda said, twisting the cap of the tube. "You ready to let me put some of this on for you?"

Vin nodded, and obediently lifted his chin a bit to make it easier for Lynda to reach. It was striking, really, how Vin went from rigid to pliant and back again, with little to predict which he'd be, in any given situation. Chris found himself intrigued by this child, and more so with every minute he spent with him. It was disturbing, of course, to consider what Vin had gone through that made him such a fascinating little puzzle, but even so, Chris felt compelled to examine all the pieces and see what he could put together. 

Lynda finished with the cream and slipped the tube into the pocket of her smock. "Okay, Vin. Feeling better, now?"

"Yes, ma'am. Thanks," he said softly.

"You're welcome. I'll be back in just a little while, and we'll get you that pain medication, too."

"Thanks, Lynda," Chris said.

"Sure," she answered with another soft smile for Vin.

Chris stood by the edge of Vin's bed, unsure how to pass the time until Vin got his pain medication. His eyes fell on the books sitting atop the rollaway table. "Hey, Vin. The Black Stallion. Did someone start reading this to you today?"

Vin shook his head no, but his eyes held interest as he stretched to look at the book. Chris remembered the scene in the room earlier that night, and realized that amidst the chaos, the book had probably been long forgotten.

"How about if I read a little of it now, while we wait for Lynda to come back with your medication?"

"Okay," Vin answered quietly, but with a smile pulling on his mouth.

Chris sat, and began reading softly, a little disappointed that JD was sleeping so soundly. It would have been nice to be able to share this with both of the boys. 

The reading helped the time pass quickly, and before Chris knew it, Lynda was back, approaching the bed with a syringe. Vin looked up, took one look at what was in Lynda's hand, and gasped. He scrambled into a kneeling position, head turning in all directions, obviously hunting out an escape route.

"Vin! Vin! It's okay, kiddo," Chris said quickly, dropping the book and heading Vin off before he could try to climb out of the bed.

"No!" he whimpered harshly, tears welling in his eyes.

"It doesn't go in with a needle, Vin," Lynda said calmly as she reached for the IV tubing before it could tangle.

Vin clutched at Chris' arms while Chris took Vin's small face in his hands gently. "Vin, she's not going to inject you... she's not going to give you a shot, pal. Listen to me, buddy."

Vin panted, searching Chris' face while the words registered. "That's right, kiddo. No needles. You don't have to be afraid."

Gradually, Vin calmed, and only one tear slid down his face before they began to clear again. Lynda got the contents of the syringe into the IV quickly, and Chris settled Vin under the blankets again. "There. All done, now."

"Thank you," Chris said, looking up from tucking the blankets around the slim little body.

Lynda nodded. "But listen now, both of you. I can't guarantee that Vin will never have to have another injection. We'll try to keep it at a minimum, but it's possible he might have to have one now and then."

Chris closed his eyes briefly and nodded, understanding. Vin would have to get over his fear of needles, at least somewhat, or things would only get rougher for him.

"Vin, look at me, sweetie," Lynda said, leaning over the boy's bed. Vin looked up at her, his expression suspicious. "No one here in this hospital will intentionally hurt you. But if you're sick, and you need a shot to get better, we have to give it to you."

Vin didn't answer, just ducked his head briefly, and had moist eyes again when he lifted back up.

"How about we make a deal?" Lynda said. Vin's eyebrows rose, curious despite his fear. "If it turns out we have to give you a shot, we'll sit down with you, and explain exactly why, and exactly what the shot is going to do to make you better. We'll tell you everything that's happening as we go along. Will that help?"

Vin exhaled a ragged breath. "Okay."

"Okay." Lynda straightened and looked at Chris. "He'll probably sleep through the rest of the night. This dose will kick in any minute now."

It was a hint, Chris knew, that he could-- and should-- take off soon, and let Vin sleep, and let the staff do their jobs. He nodded at Lynda, and she quietly slipped over to JD's bed to check on him.

Chris leaned over the bed and watched as Vin's face quickly showed his increasing drowsiness. "All right buddy, time for me to go now."

"Why?" Vin asked softly, anxiety causing his sleepy face to fall into a frown.

"Because you need to get a good night's sleep. It's practically the middle of the night."

Vin's sigh morphed into a yawn. "Bye, Chris."

Bye? Not goodnight? Thinking about it, of course Vin had little reason to believe he'd be seeing Chris again.

"I'll be back, Vin," Chris promised.

"Really?" Vin asked, hope in his strained voice.

"Yes, really. I said I'd bring you some pajamas, right?" Chris reminded him with a smile.

"Yeah," Vin said, skepticism apparent, though Chris could tell that he wanted to believe.

"I'll be back tomorrow, after you've had your breakfast. Will you try to let the nurses help you while I'm gone?"

Vin nodded, his eyes falling shut, and another yawn escaping.

"Good boy. I'll see you tomorrow, kiddo."

Vin sighed quietly, his head moving in another faint nod.

Chris bent down and pressed his lips to Vin's warm forehead, though he didn't linger. "Night," he whispered, though when he straightened, he saw that Vin's breathing had evened out and he was finally asleep.

He moved from Vin's bed to JD's, seeing that Lynda had already gone. He left a kiss on JD's forehead, too, thankful that at least one of the boys had had a relatively peaceful night. Who knew what new tragedies they'd have to face tomorrow.

=======

Chris slept like a rock, and felt a little bit guilty when he finally opened his eyes and saw bright rays of sunshine streaming through his window. It'd been after one a.m. when he'd finally left the hospital the night before, and it'd been just after two when he'd finally collapsed in bed. A glimpse at the clock confirmed that it was late morning, though-- already quarter past nine-- and in the city, a little boy lay in a hospital bed waiting for Chris to keep a promise.

Chris was showered and out the door twenty minutes later, on the way to Wal-Mart to shop for boys pajamas. It was Saturday, and so it would be the only store open this early. One stop through the McDonald's drive-thru along the way provided Chris with the large dose of caffeine he desperately needed, having forgone the long wait for his own coffee maker to get cranking.

Half of his cup was gone by the time Chris had parked, and he made his way into the store feeling much more alert. He wasn't sure about the sizes, but he had enough experience with boys to make a good guess, he figured. Rummaging through the hangers of PJ's, Chris found himself irritated by the lack of selection. Big store like this one, he'd imagined he'd have a lot to choose from, but as he neared the end of the rack, he realized pickings were slim.

He ended up grabbing a plain blue pair for Vin and smaller, red pair for JD. He shook his head, aggravated, and headed for the checkout. Hell, he could always take a run by the mall on his way home, he decided, then froze in his tracks as he caught site of the registers.

Jesus. It was less than forty-eight hours ago that he was giving Buck hell for getting too attached, and here he was, buying clothes and making plans for a trip to the mall for these boys? What the hell was he thinking?

Chris groaned to himself and got in line. He was thinking, that these boys hadn't had anyone give enough of a shit about them before to even consider taking a trip to the mall for them. Right or wrong, justified or not, Chris and his team had played a role in the death of JD's mother-- the closest thing to a caregiver the boys appeared to have had. The least Chris could do was see these kids through the some of this trauma and get them some lousy, fucking pajamas. Even if his reasons had a lot of their roots in guilt, the result would still be something done to make it easier for the boys.

He peeled off the necessary bills to pay for the pajamas and stuffed the two pairs in the blue shopping bag while the cashier got his change. He snatched the single dollar bill and assorted pennies and dimes, sparing what he hoped was a friendly smile to the nervous looking teenager running the register, then high-tailed it out of the store.

Finally making to the hospital and up the boy's room, Chris glanced at his watch in the doorway, seeing it was nearly eleven already. He took a deep breath, then walked into the room.

"Chris!" an excited voice called to him immediately. JD's chubby face was alight with a bright smile, and Chris couldn't help but smile back.

"You remember me, then, huh?" Chris said, grinning at the boy then looking to Vin. 

"Well, duh!" JD answered, giggling. Vin's smile plainly showed relief, and Chris was inordinately happy that he hadn't let the poor kid down.

"I've got something here for you two," Chris said, giving Vin a wink.

"Is it a present?" JD asked, his eyes going wide.

"Something like that, yeah," Chris answered. He pulled out the pajamas, belatedly remembering the tags and tearing them off quickly, then put the boys' pajamas on their beds.

Vin looked up at him, an expression of awe tinged with wariness. "You really got 'em?" he whispered, somehow not believing, even though he saw the promised pajamas sitting right there on his bed.

"I really got 'em, pal."

"What are they?" JD asked, holding up his pair curiously.

"Them are PJ's, silly," Vin answered, rolling his eyes. 

Chris chuckled. "They're special clothes that you sleep in, sport."

"I ain't gonna sleep in my tee shirt and underwear no more?" JD asked, looking a little confused.

"Not if you don't want to, JD. What do you think of them?"

JD looked up at him, grinning wide. "They're soft!"

"Yeah, they should be pretty comfy for laying in bed and sleeping," Chris told him, ruffling his hair.

Chris looked to Vin, and saw that he had the pants of his pair under the bed, and he was trying to get them on. The various IV's and tubes were making it difficult, though.

"Let me help you, buddy. We don't want any of those things to pop out, do we?" Chris said, and approached the bed. Vin froze, a look of panic on his face, and Chris knew that the modesty thing was raring its head.

"I won't look, Vin. I'll just give them a tug and help you get them up. How's that?"

Vin pulled his hands out from under the blankets and watched Chris with a healthy dose of suspicion, but at least he nodded his consent.

Chris stood beside the bed and slipped a hand under the blanket. He felt the pajama bottoms bunched at Vin's ankles. He pulled a little on the left leg, then the right, gradually inching them up. "Not the easiest way, pal, but we're getting there," Chris said with a grin.

Vin just shrugged and wiggled his legs a little, trying to help the process along. When the bottoms were finally over Vin's knees, Chris slid his other hand under the blanket and grasped the pants at the waist on both sides, and tugged. Vin lifted his bottom and last Chris had them all the way on.

Vin let out a soft 'whew', and Chris grinned at him. "See? That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Vin finally grinned back at him, at least a little one, and whispered a sheepish thanks.

"You're welcome, kiddo. All right, JD, how about you? You want to put the pajama bottoms on?"

"Yeah!" the little boy answered right away, kicking his bare legs from under his own covers, not caring who was there to see. Chris shook his head, grinning, as he held the pants at JD's feet for him to slip legs into them. He got them over the child's legs and up to his waist quickly. 

"How's that, sport?"

"They're nice! What about the shirt?" JD asked fingering the top to the pajamas.

"Sorry, guys. Until you get the IV's and stuff off of you, you'll probably have to use the hospital gowns for tops, or the nurses won't be able to get to ya."

JD just shrugged, not seeming bothered, and Vin also seemed happy to have just the pants. Chris took a seat on the recliner and spotted the book he'd started reading the night before. He picked it up and looked from Vin to JD. "How about we read a little more of this for a while, guys?"

JD nodded enthusiastically, while Vin's nod was more subdued-- but to Chris' eyes, just as genuine. Chris tugged the chair so that it was more or less equally close to both beds. "Do you mind if we start at the beginning again, Vin, for JD?"

"Sure," Vin said, snuggling down to listen. JD tugged on his blankets to get more comfortable, too.

A warm feeling spread in Chris' chest, and he realized that doing things for these boys had little to do with guilt, after all. He just plain liked it. He liked watching them smile, liked it when he could soothe at least some of their pain. It was a close approximation of some of the things he used to do for Adam, and as Chris started reading, it struck him just how much he'd missed the job of being a father. He missed Adam so much sometimes he couldn't breathe, and it was disconcerting that he missed simply being a dad nearly as much.

In some ways, it was almost as though he was betraying Adam, by indulging his need to be a dad with other kids. But on the other hand, in other ways, doing these things, and doing them well, reassured him that he hadn't completely failed his own child; he'd been a good, attentive father, and he needed to prove to himself that he still knew how.

Chris needed to be here for these boys, and they sure as hell needed him. If they all derived some comfort from this, if they were all just a little happier in this decidedly cruel and unhappy world, what was the harm?

*********  
" Your turn, pard," Buck said, throwing his hands in the air as Chris came into the boys' room.

Chris quirked an eyebrow at Buck, Vin and JD. "I take it I missed something?"

"I swear, Chris, this boy has a stubborn streak almost as big as yours," Buck answered, shaking his head at Vin, who slid under the covers and pulled them up to his eyes at Buck's exasperated tone.

Chris rolled his eyes. "Buck, you wanna quit nellying around and just tell me what the problem is?"

Buck heaved a sigh. "It ain't funny, Chris. Vin still ain't eating. He's got the staff more than a little worried, and I'm joining 'em on that count."

Chris chewed his lip a little, thinking. Buck was right, though. If Vin didn't start eating, it could get bad for him. He sat on the edge of Vin's bed and looked at the dinner tray. Hospital food didn't exactly have a reputation for being tasty cuisine, but the dinner on the plate looked fairly edible.

"What's the matter, kiddo. You don't like meatloaf?" Chris asked casually.

"It's okay," Vin answered cryptically.

"Aren't you hungry at all? You barely had any of your breakfast or your lunch, if I remember."

Vin looked away and shrugged one shoulder.

Chris sighed and looked up at Buck. 

"That's about all he tells the rest of us, too," Buck said.

All heads in the room turned when Lynda came in, coming straight for Vin's bed. She sighed, looked briefly at Chris, then crossed her arms.

"We're running out of options, Vin. We only have a couple ways of giving you the nutrition you need. Eating is the easiest way, you know."

Vin just turned his face into the pillow, looking as though he was trying to hide from them. Chris looked from Vin to Lynda, and realized that this was one of those circumstances where Vin was likely going to go through some tears over something that was for his own good. Vin's distrust of everything that happened to him in here was just going too far.

"We won't have any choice then, Vin. If you don't start eating, Dr. Reed's going to have to order a feeding tube," Lynda said.

"What?" Buck asked, obviously as disturbed by this as Chris was.

Lynda looked at each of them in turn. "It can't be helped, Agent Wilmington. Vin desperately needs nutrition. It's vital to his recovery that he get it, and if he doesn't get it from his meals, we'll have to put him on a feeding tube."

Chris glanced down at Vin, saw the fear in the eye the boy had peeking out from the pillow. "How does it work?" Chris asked softly.

"It's a small tube that's inserted through the nostril of the patient, and goes down to the esophagus, delivering nutrients in a liquid formula," Lynda replied. 

"You're gonna put a tube in my nose?" Vin rasped.

"Aw, God," Buck said, swiping a hand over his face.

Chris looked to Lynda, not sure what to ask, and was grateful when she went on. "It's not painful, but I'm concerned that it would be disturbing to Vin, given his reactions to much of his care."

"No," Vin whispered, his breath hitching. "Don't put no more tubes in me."

"Nobody wants to do that, Vin, but pal, if you don't eat we won't have much choice," Chris told him gently, wishing to hell the boy would just pick up his damn fork and eat.

Vin looked at his plate, then at Chris, tears sliding down his pale face. "I cain't," he finally said, little voice strained.

"I don't understand, Vin. Why not?" Chris asked.

"Hurts to swallow."

"Ah, Jesus," Chris muttered. Obviously none of them had thought of that, and Vin hadn't said a word.

"Vin, why didn't you say something," Lynda asked gently.

Vin sniffed and gave a one-shoulder shrug. "I ain't a baby."

Chris cleared the lump in his throat. "We know that, buddy. But you have to tell someone when something is wrong. Even grown-ups have to tell their doctor when something is wrong or something hurts." 

Vin burrowed into his pillow again, trying to hide the tears and sniffles that kept coming. Chris went to touch the boy's hair, but aborted the motion, not sure physical comfort would be welcome at this point. Instead, he ran a hand through his own hair, and looked to Vin's dinner tray.

He saw Lynda doing the same, and then their eyes met over Vin's empty glass of milk. Lynda smiled and gave Vin's foot a little tug through the blanket. "Hey Vin? Sweetie? I think we might have another alternative."

Vin didn't look up, but his muffled 'what' could be heard anyway.

"You don't have a problem drinking, do you? You can get milk, juice, and some of your pudding and jell-o down, right?" she asked.

"Yeah," Vin answered, finally turning his head a little.

"So it's mostly solid food that hurts?"

"Yeah," he said again, sniffing back a little of his tears.

"So, we'll try getting the nutrients to you in a liquid diet for a while, and we'll gradually try more solid food as your throat heals more. Do you want to try that?" Lynda asked, searching Vin's face.

The boy nodded, and wiped his face with the back of his hand.

"Good," Lynda said, sighing in relief. "I'll talk to Dr. Reed, and we’ll see about getting you something you can handle that won't hurt as much. I need you tell me a little more, though. Is it kind of that gulping motion that hurts?"

Vin nodded. "Thick stuff hurts most."

"All right, Vin. Now that we know what's wrong, we'll see what we can do to make it better. Is there anything else that hurts? Anything else you need to tell me?" Lynda asked, one eyebrow arched, letting Vin know she meant business.

"No ma'am."

"Okay, then. I'll bring you another glass of milk in the meantime."

"Thank you," Vin whispered, pulling his covers up to his mouth again, obviously a defense mechanism.

Lynda smiled at him, then went to get JD's predictably cleaned-off tray.

Chris sighed, and touched Vin lightly on the top of his head. "I sure wish you'd let us know when you need something."

"Ain't good to whine," Vin answered softly.

Chris closed his eyes for a second, frustrated at how hard it was to make Vin understand. "Vin, letting us know you're hurting or that there's something you need, isn't the same thing as whining. I want you to get better, pal, and you'll do that faster if you tell us when something's wrong."

Vin sighed quietly and then looked up at Chris' eyes. "I can tell you?"

Chris smiled at him. "You can tell me anything," he said, and meant it more than Vin could possibly comprehend.

Vin nodded, and Chris was sure he saw a new measure of trust in Vin's eyes that hadn't been there before. Chris was relieved, and yet a little bit scared. He'd offered to be there for this boy, and Vin had finally accepted. Chris just prayed he wouldn't let him down.

********

 

Vin dozed, but didn't feel so heavy as he did when they pumped him full of medicine. The nurses had finally taken all of those tube and wire things stuck in his body, and instead they gave him medicine through one last little tube thing stuck in his hand-- but at least that thing wasn't hooked up to anything; they just put stuff in that little tube when they needed to. He also felt a whole lot better having that cat thing out of his privates, even if he felt funny peeing into that bottle thing instead. But heck, if JD could do it without anybody thinking anything of it, then so could he. He'd never ever let anybody put one of those things in his pee-pee again, he didn't care who teased him about having an accident. Vin would pee in any bottle they gave him and wet a dozen sheets, 'fore he let them come near him with that cat thing.

He hadn't seen Chris in a few hours, and was surprised at how much he missed him. Then again, he shouldn't be all that surprised, he decided. Chris was the first grownup in a while who actually wanted to take care of him-- and seemed good enough at it, too.

He yawned and pulled his blanket a little higher, torn between letting himself sleep, and waiting for Chris to get there, so he could do it without worrying about what they were gonna stick in him next.

That mean nurse's voice got his attention, though, and there was no way he was gonna sleep. She was over at JD's bed, and whatever she was saying, JD didn't like it.

"JD, Agent Wilmington is not your uncle. It's not nice to lie. He's a nice man, though, and I'm sure he'll check up on you in your foster home," the woman said as she marched out the door.

Poor JD! That look on his face made Vin's belly ache. He just knew JD was gonna start bawlin' again, too, and it would only make that witch nurse come back, and more than anything, Vin didn't want that witch nurse near any of them.

He shoved off the blankets and crawled to the end of the bed where he wasn't blocked in by the rails. He climbed down, and scampered over to JD's bed, trying to keep that silly hospital dress on. Wasn't enough they had to stick 'em with things and make 'em scared; they had to make 'em wear girl's clothes, too, if they let 'em have clothes at all. Only thing that made it better was the PJ pants Chris brought for him.

"Shush, JD, don't start crying, or she'll come back!"

"I... d-d-don't wanna go to foster places! They're bad places! People hurt you, and they're mean to you!" JD stammered.

"How do you know?" Vin asked, suspicious about this foster thing.

"My momma told me! She told me it's bad, Vin, really bad!"

Vin bit his lip as he thought. Chris hadn't said anything about foster places to him. Maybe they were gonna send JD to foster, and him somewhere better? Maybe if he took JD to Chris, they could get JD taken someplace better, just like him. Yeah, that's what he had to do.

"JD? Do ya still hurt lots?" Vin asked, peeking around the bed to make sure nobody at the nurse's station was coming.

"Only sometimes," he said, and sniffed back some of the stuff running down his nose.

"Okay, we gotta get out of here before they come and get you and send you to foster. We can find Chris, and he'll help."

JD's eyes brightened a little. "You think he will?"

Vin wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure Chris wouldn't let anybody send JD to a bad place. It was JD's best chance, anyway, so he had to take it. "Yeah, I'm sure. Can you climb down? You got all those wires taken out of ya?"

"Yeah, they're gone now," JD answered and pushed back his blankets.

"Come down to the end, like I did. It's easier that way."

"I know, I know," JD muttered, but did as he was told, and crawled to the foot of the bed. Once there, he turned onto his belly and squirmed until his bare feet hit the floor. "So, what do we do now?"

Vin peered toward the door again. "We gotta find a phone. Then we dial zero, and we ask to talk to Agent Larabee."

"Why don't we call on that one?" JD asked, pointing to the phone connected to the wall just inside the room.

"That's the one the witch nurse uses to talk to people here in the hospital. We can't use that, or she'll come in, and she'll know. We gotta find another one."

"Okay," JD said, and grabbed Vin's hand. They tiptoed to the door, and Vin peeked around again. At the end of the hall, there was a pay phone. Vin pressed his finger to his lips, gesturing to JD to stay quiet. He went back to his bed and looked at the little table beside the chair Chris sat in. Yep, there was still change from when Chris was counting some to get them sodas. He scooped up some dimes and nickels, sure there was enough to make a lot of phone calls if they needed.

JD grabbed hold of his free hand again, and they went back to the door. There were some nurses at the opposite end of the hall, moving some big thing on a cart into a room. Nobody was at the nurse's station. They were clear to go!

"This way," Vin whispered, and tugged JD out of the room. They walked fast, Vin's eyes glued to that phone.

Suddenly his vision was blocked by bluish pants-- the same blue the nurses wore! Oh no!

He slowly looked upward, and just when his eyes met the horrible face of the witch nurse, she snagged a handful of the dress thing at his shoulder. "I have lost my patience with you two. If you can't behave and stay where you're told, I'll see to it myself you stay."

Panic rushed through him, making it hard to breathe. She'd tell Chris he was bad, and Chris wouldn't let him go someplace decent! He and JD both would have to go to foster, and people would hurt them! He had to get away... he had to get away...

********

What a hellish several days, Chris thought as he made his way through the pediatric wing again. Chris had lived through nightmares before, and he just wanted this one to be over.

The elevator dinged, and as he stepped out, he heard a familiar wail that told him the nightmare was still in full swing. Cursing under his breath, he quickened his pace to the boys' room.

By the time he got in the door, he was seeing red.

"You again. I shoulda known."

"Mr. Larabee, I've had enough of your interference. We're running a hospital, here."

"I don't know what you think you're running, but from where I stand, it isn't a hospital. Why in the hell do you have cages over those kids' beds?"

A continual chorus of cries and shouts of 'Let me out' and 'I hate you' damned near drowned out his and that nurse's voice... near, but not completely.

"Those children attempted to leave the hospital today. I am not going to have our staff waste their time searching out sick little runaways!" She grated as she headed for the door.

"I'm taking those down if I have to do it with my bare hands," he shouted at her back.

She turned and glared at him. "No, you aren't. I'm calling security to have you removed."

"Not before I get the cuffs on you and have you arrested for child endangerment," Chris replied.

The response from the nurse was held off by a doctor, balding and mid-fifties, he appeared to Chris, and also rather shocked by the scene, if Chris had to guess.

"Okay, kids, let's all calm down and get this straightened out... JD? You haven't had a lolly today, have you?" He went to JD's bed and stuck a lollypop through the bars. "Vin? I'm guessing you're in too bad a mood to want a lolly today?"

Vin collapsed in an Indian-style sitting position as tears streamed down his face. "I want Chris!"

"I'm here, Pal, I'm here now," Chris said, catching Vin's eyes through the bars as he scanned the contraption for how to get it off.

"Annette? Why are these children confined?"

"They tried to run away. I can't have staff spending time chasing down errant children. And anything could have happened to them."

Chris turned to the woman, not at all ashamed that he used his height advantage to loom over her. "And did you bother to ask what upset them so much that it made them want to leave?"

"They weren't upset. I don't know what they were, but it wasn't upset!" The woman protested.

"Liar!" Vin shouted, the sound painful to listen to as it strained past his lips. "You told JD he had to go foster! And they're mean and they hurt people in foster!"

The surprise on the nurse's face equaled the rage Chris felt. Before he could say a word, the doctor stepped between them.

"Annette, it's not appropriate to discuss such matters with the patients. I think it's time we talk about reassigning you back to Radiology, where you're more suited."

"Yes, Dr. Reed," she said, face red, and turned to leave.

"I don't want that woman near these kids. This is the second time I've walked in on a scene like this," Chris said, his own voice strained.

"Second?" the doctor asked, obviously surprised.

"The first was when she tied Vin to the bed because he was afraid of the needles and fought her," Chris explained, still surveying the metal contraption on Vin's bed.

The doctor sighed, then answered. "To be fair, it's a standard practice when the fighting endangers the patient."

"There was nothing fair about it. The boy has a serious problem with needles, as noted in his chart. She hadn't bothered to try to explain anything to him before coming at him with a needle that to this kid looked like the size of a bazooka!" 

The doctor took a deep breath before replying. "I see your point, and I agree. She's not suited to work with children, and I'll see that her reassignment comes through immediately. In the meantime, I'll instruct the staff to have Lynda, Sue and Carol take primary nursing care of the boys."

Chris breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you. Can we get these things off now? I don't want these kids locked up. They're the victims, not the perps."

"Of course. I'll call for supply staff and an orderly now."

Chris went back to Vin's bed, and crouched to meet Vin's eyes. "We're gonna take care of this, Vin. Ya hear me?"

Vin looked up at him, eyes red-rimmed and wet, and Chris' heart broke for him. "I wasn't bad," he whispered.

"I know, buddy. We'll fix it, I promise."

"I wanna go home."

Chris' heart shattered even more, hearing the barely audible plea from Vin's quivering lips. I wanna go home... How in the hell could he fix that? 

"Vin? Pal? Where's home?" Chris asked softly, hoping that Vin would finally say more than he had-- which was really nothing.

Vin sniffled and shrugged. "Jist home."

Chris sighed, not surprised. He spared a glance toward the still-sniffling JD, and saw that the lollypop was doing a good enough job settling him down for the moment. He turned back to Vin and reached for his nearly-forgotten briefcase.

When he popped it open, he couldn't help but grin to himself. Usually, it was stuffed full of files. Today it held a minimum of papers, and two sets of boys' pajamas. He pulled out the new pair he picked up for Vin and held them up for inspection. He wagged his eyebrows a little when Vin peeked up at him, question in his eyes.

"These are for you, Vin. I promised a new set, remember? And you can wear the tops that come with them now, too."

"Mine?" he asked quietly, as though he dare not believe it.

"All yours, pal. See? They have cowboys on 'em. You like cowboys?"

Vin nodded at him, the beginnings of a grin lighting his face.

"Me too. Wanna get changed into these while I go get JD settled?" Chris asked, knowing Vin would want to try to dress himself.

Vin finally smiled at him as he nodded his head yes, taking the pajamas from Chris through the bars of the kiddie cage. 

Chris took out the other pair of pajamas and brought them to JD's bed. He crouched next to it and held them up for JD to see.

"Indians!" he shouted with glee, his chubby face lighting up. "They gots Indians on 'em!"

Chris laughed, couldn't help but be moved by the boy. "They sure do. Can you put them on yourself, or do you need some help?

"He gits his shirts backwards," Vin rasped from his bed.

"Nuh-uh!" JD protested immediately, then looked at Chris with a mischievous grin. "Only sometimes," he added.

"Well, that's different then, isn't it?" Chris chuckled and ruffled JD's floppy hair through the bars.

Chris was just thinking of hunting someone down-- literally-- to get those damn cages taken away, when an orderly and a fella from supply came in.

"All right boys," the orderly said with a cheerful smile, "a little bird told me you two are getting free of these things."

Vin looked at the man with hopeful eyes, JD practically bounced, and Chris breathed a sigh of relief that another emotional head-on collision had been diverted.

**********************  
" Morning, Carol," Chris greeted the cheerful nurse as he came off the elevator.

"Morning, Mr. Larabee. I see you have Vin's protein shake. Chocolate, right?" she said with a smile as she walked with him down the hallway.

"With the extra kick of B6," Chris answered with a grin.

"Fantastic, Mr. Larabee," Carol said with a laugh.

"Are you sure it's all right to be putting the protein mix in a plain old chocolate shake?" Chris asked, expecting any time now to be chastised.

"I'm sure," Carol said, "As sure now as I was last three mornings. I promise you, nobody is going to call you to the carpet on this one. The milk in it is really good for him, and the fat from a shake is much better for him than the fat from a burger and fries. If he doesn't try to drink it through the straw, it should go down easy enough."

"All right, all right, I'll take your word for it," Chris said, slowing as he neared the boys' room. Carol grinned at him again as she kept going forward to the nurse's station. It seemed to Chris that everyone on that floor was just a bit more cheerful since the transfer of the 'nurse witch.'

"Oh, and Mr. Larabee," Carol called over her shoulder. "Thanks for making JD's plain shake a small one. That one's having no trouble at all eating for us," she said with a chuckle.

"I think I noticed that," Chris laughed back then turned into the room.

"Chris!" JD shouted out, his eyes wide and his smile wider. Vin looked up from his coloring book, his smile more subdued, but its sincerity plain to see.

"Morning, boys," Chris said to them and put the shakes and his briefcase down. "How're you feeling today?"

"Good. My hurts is smaller!" JD said happily.

"That's great, JD," Chris said, rubbing his hand over JD's head. He turned to Vin, then. "How about you, pal?"

"I feel fine," Vin said, his small grin telling Chris that that was probably true. Vin still tended to minimize his pain, unfortunately due mostly to fearing that it would draw more attention from the medical staff and thus expose him to more needles and other scary stuff.

"I'm glad, Vin," Chris said, his touch to Vin's hair lighter and briefer than to JD's. Those small touches seemed like too little physical comfort in Chris' book, but then again, it was better than Vin being afraid of being touched at all. It was also progress for Chris to be checking the port lodged into the vein on Vin's hand, and the quick evening baths Vin allowed him to administer. Chris would take those little improvements any way they came.

"All right, then. JD, strawberry shake for you, and Vin, yours is..." Chris paused, grinning, watching the smile on Vin's face grow wider with the teasing.

"Chocolate?" Vin finally asked.

"Of course, it is," Chris answered with a chuckle, handing him the cup. After Vin's first sip through the straw, his eyes closed, and one corner of his mouth twitched upward. His little face was a picture of bliss, and Chris wondered if he looked that way with his first sip of morning coffee.

"Okay, boys. I gotta go to work today, but I'll be back before your dinner time. You all stocked up on coloring books and crayons?"

"Yessir," Vin said softly between sips.

"Yep," JD answered between gulps.

Chris chuckled, shook his head, and pulled the kids' newest set of spare pajamas from his briefcase. How could he have forgotten just how many pajamas little boys actually needed?

"Is that Mickey Mouse?" JD asked, his eyes wide as ever.

"Sure is, JD. Mickey for you, and Wile E. Coyote for Vin. How will that work?"

"Great!" JD beamed.

"I git to be a coyote," Vin said, his grin taking a mischievous turn that Chris found himself loving.

"All right then, this is what you two can wear after bath time tonight. Have a good day, and I'll see you later."

"Bye, Chris," the boys chorused, both looking content enough that he could leave without his conscience needling him.

**********************

Chris wasn't at all surprised to find himself looking forward to the end of the day-- and for the company of two little boys rather than the usual beers with the team. He was discovering all over again that despite his line of work, deep down he was still the type of man who found joy in simple things like giving a child a bath or praising the artistic genius in the way the child colored in a talking rabbit. Couldn't be a shocker then, that his need to feel fulfilled in that way drew him to Vin and JD, especially the way each, in his own unique way, begged for comfort.

By the time he finished the pile of paperwork on his desk, it was going on four o'clock. Buck had more to do-- and a date later-- so Chris headed out to the hospital alone. A detour through the KFC drive-through was his only stop, so he made it there and up to the kids' floor before five.

He received the greeting he'd gotten used to over the last several days, and it was only minutes before he had food set out on the little kid-sized table the orderly had brought up the day before. The boys had their own small chairs, and Chris just sat on the floor, not caring what it did to his suit pants.

Vin happily dug into the mashed potatoes Chris put in front of him, and JD had chicken grease on his face seconds after picking up his drumstick. It was another mark of improvement that Vin managed to get down the small bits of tender breast meat that Chris pulled from one of the pieces, and Chris was pretty sure that Vin managed it with little pain.

They were halfway through their little feast when Chris remembered the last container in the bag. He popped the lid, and the smell of cheese wafted over the table.

"Vin? You wanna try some, or is your throat getting tired?" Chris asked.

"No, thanks. Might be gettin' just a little bit sore," Vin answered softly, and Chris didn't push, instead happy that Vin had been honest about the pain.

"JD?" Chris asked, tilting the container.

"My momma makes macs and cheese different. I don't want that kind. The macs are too big and squishy lookin'."

Chris nodded, not wanting to argue with the poor kid over a good memory of his mother.

"When's she coming to get me?" JD suddenly asked, just as Chris swallowed a mouthful of chicken.

Ah, hell. Not again. In the back of his head, he cursed Buck's libido, thinking that Buck had been so much better at helping JD through these jags of missing his momma.

Chris glanced over at Vin, watched as he ducked his head, waiting for JD's outburst to come and for Chris to soothe him through it. He pressed a quick touch to Vin's hair, apology for his having to watch and thank you for being   
so brave about it. Vin understood, Chris was certain.

He turned to JD, then, already rising to his knees in anticipation. "JD? Kiddo? We had a talk about this before. I'm so sorry things can't be different."

JD blinked twice, tears building on the first one, just beginning to spill on the second one, and a second after that, the first sob tore from his throat.

Chris was up in an instant, had JD cradled to his chest in time for the louder wails to work their way out of his lungs. "I want my momma!"

"I know, kiddo. I know."

Quiet whispers and soothing strokes on his tiny back took a good while to work; crying, calling for his momma, and hiccups all alternating in a cycle that Chris' efforts of comfort worked with, rather than battled against.

When the cycle wound down to mostly hiccups, Chris moved to the green recliner, JD still glued to his chest. Soon enough, the hiccups ended, too, and all that remained was a bit of snuggle time while the sniffles gradually diminished. JD did that with his tucked under Chris' chin and his fingers absently toying with a button Chris' shirt.

Chris glanced down to see that Vin had snagged one of his coloring books and sat on the floor by Chris' knee, quietly coloring. Chris reached one hand out, gently crooking his forefinger into one of the curls hanging over Vin's ear.

The boy looked up at him, curiosity lighting his eyes. Chris just smiled, and tugged lightly at that curl. Vin grinned at him, then turned his head back to the coloring book.

Nope, Chris didn't begrudge Buck that date at all.

After a while, Chris squirmed in the chair a little, rousing both boys from their spots. Vin stood up, careful, Chris noticed, of the port in his hand, and Chris rose as well, patting JD on the back a little more beforedepositing him on Vin's bed.

He reached down for Vin next, the boy allowing himself to picked up and placed next to JD. "How about a story before bath time?"

Both kids nodded, and Chris searched the selection of books he'd brought the day before.

"Hi boys," Dr. Reed called out, drawing Chris out of his perusal.

"Hi, Dr. Reed," JD said, a little less cheerfully than usual.

"Hi," Vin said softly.

"Evening, Dr. Reed," Chris said, a wry grin on his face, knowing the doc would have some idea of the source of the somber moods.

"I've been over the boys' charts, and I can say that both of you are doing very well."

Chris nodded, relieved to hear it.

"We have a few little tests scheduled for tomorrow, but it's nothing scary, I promise."

Both boys looked a little skeptical, though.

"If you know when, I can be here," Chris offered.

The doctor thought about it for a moment, before replying. "It can't hurt, but with how well things have been going, I think it won't be tragic if you can't make it."

Chris sighed. "With these two, better to be safe."

The doctor grinned. "I can't deny that. Oh, and I do have a bit of good news about Vin," he added, his voice a little quieter. Chris stood up straighter, listening closely. "The antibody test I spoke of a week ago? It's back, and it's negative."

Chris let out a huge sigh of relief. "That is great news."

"I thought you'd want to know right away." He turned then to Vin and JD. "So, boys, I'll be in tomorrow morning to check in on you, and we'll see what mystery flavor of lollypop you end up with then. G'night."

"Night, Dr. Reed," they called out at the same time.

Chris moved closer to the bed, looking at the two tired little faces. "So, ready for that story now?"

Both boys nodded happily, and Chris found himself smiling wider than he had in a long, long time.

 

**********************

Chris stared up the ceiling, his mind racing with thoughts of the kids, making it hard to keep counting those damned sheep. Buck lay next to him sound asleep, the same reliable presence beside him that he'd been for over a decade now.

Well, reliable in the sense that Chris knew he could count on him to actually be beside him when Chris needed him to be. Buck wasn't the most responsible guy in the world, but his loyalty was unquestioned-- as were his good intentions. Chris had the feeling that those good intentions, along with Buck's tendency to see the lighter side of things, would be the perfect balance for Chris' tendency to walk the serious line most of the time. That balance would be crucial to providing the kind of environment that Chris had in mind for Vin and JD.

Chris took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. The idea of making the boys a permanent part of his life made him nervous as hell, but no way was he going to turn back now. The question now wasn't if he was going to make it work, but how. His gut told him that he'd be doing the best thing for the kids by having Buck right there with him, in whatever way Buck could manage.

Chris tried to imagine going ahead without having Buck involved in some way, but the concept just couldn't take form in his mind. From the minute Buck had walked into his life, and onto his first team with the SEALS, all long legs and young, cocky attitude, he'd had a place in Chris' life. And that had nothing to do with the fact that Buck had been the one on their team to initiate their pre-mission circle jerks; if you were in the military, chances were good you'd jerked off with a fellow serviceman. Nope, Buck had earned his place beside Chris by doing his job, proving his loyalty without being asked, and knowing when to be there and be heard, versus just being there to lean on.

But asking Buck to help him with the boys, that was asking Buck to be there with him in a whole, new capacity. Chris couldn't imagine him saying no, but he couldn't take that for granted. He couldn't assume that Buck could take on a role like that the way he assumed that he and Buck would always be around for the tension-breaking hand or blow job that got them through the rougher times. 

Chris was too far into this to back out now, though; those kids meant too much to him. Hard as it was to picture doing it without Buck there to share the burden, he'd do it. He'd just have to make sure Buck understood that. Chris didn't want him there out of guilt; but he did want him there.

Chris let out a deep breath, and decided it was now or never.

"Buck?" Chris whispered and nudged his bed partner. "Hey, you awake?"

After a few more well placed nudges, Buck rolled over and faced Chris. "I am now," he said.

"I got a favor to ask you."

"I shoulda known that blow job wouldn't come for free. This about the kids?"

"Yeah."

Buck eased up a little, supporting himself on one elbow as he came more awake. "You plan on taking them in, don't you?"

"I already talked to the judge."

Buck looked surprised, but still drowsy. "Oh. I didn't realize you were so serious about it. Can't this wait till a more decent hour?"

"I can't get them out of my head, Buck. They need someone."

Buck sighed a little, apparently willing to have the conversation now, after all. "And you need to be needed."

Chris grinned a little, not ashamed to admit it. "Yeah, Buck, I do."

"Waddaya want from me?" Buck asked, just a little suspiciously.

Best come out and say it, Chris decided. "Move out to the ranch, give me a hand. Be ready to step up if anything happens to me."

Buck let out a low whistle, his expression just a tad anxious. "That's a lot to ask."

"I know, Buck. But... well... isn't anyone else I trust enough."

"What about work?"

"I'm thinking about quitting."

Buck's eyebrows climbed his forehead. "Hell, no, Chris! You can't."

"I want to be there for them. I was thinking I could do something else, like bounty hunting. I could do that part time."

Buck shook his head firmly. "No, you can't. You get on a trail and have to follow it for weeks at a time. That isn't part time work."

Chris shrugged. "I don't know, maybe Four Corners PD so I'd be closer to home."

Buck's eyes darted around the room, a sure sign that the wheels in that hard head of his were turning. "You can worry about work and those details later, but if you think on it enough, you'll see we got an ideal situation. Hell, we make our own hours and we don't travel all that much. Team's yours, Chris, you make the rules. We'd just need to find a good housekeeper or maybe a nanny."

Chris turned a sly grin to his friend. "You said we."

"I did, didn't I?"

"That mean you're gonna do it?" Chris asked, though he was sure he knew the answer already.

"Do I get another blowjob? You're real good at it, you know..."

"Remember last time we lived together?" Chris asked, images from their past flooding his mind, some of them not so nostalgic.

"Germany? '94 - right before you met Sarah."

"I thought you'd remember."

Buck snorted, but still grinned. "Hell, Chris, I thought you were gonna kill me. We were pretty full of it back then, weren't we?"

"I'm not ready for the rocker, just yet, Buck," Chris replied, rolling his eyes.

"Thirty-six on your next birthday, old man."

"And you're only two years younger, Buck, don't forget that."

"So, about the kids... you worked out the legal details yet?" Buck asked.

"JD's a done deal. Only one with any claims on him is the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and they're not exactly tripping over themselves to claim him. Judge will have the papers ready by the end of the week. Vin needs a hearing to be declared abandoned. It's set for later in the week. Judge says it's a formality and he'll file the guardianship papers right after."

"Wow, Chris. Didn't know you'd taken it this far already. You didn't say anything. They ready to leave the hospital?"

Chris took a deep breath, then answered. "Dr. Reed says he would have released them a few days ago if they had somewhere to go. Without a primary caretaker, they stay in the hospital until they don't need one-on-one care. Could be a few more weeks. I don't want to put them through that."

"You really thought about this, Chris?" Buck asked slowly.

Chris let out a harsh, frustrated breath. "I haven't been thinking about anything else. I want to adopt them. JD shouldn't be a problem, but until we find out just where Vin came from, he won't be available for adoption. Then there's a waiting period once he's been declared abandoned. Even then, someone could come claim him. I'm still running his description through the databases, but he's not coming up anywhere. I can't believe there's not someone out there, somewhere, looking for him."

"Shit."

"Yeah, tell me about it." Chris sighed and went silent for a minute. "I had a talk with the doc about taking them. He wants to run some tests, but the county won't pay for it. Sooner I get them on my insurance, sooner he can run them. He'll release them from the hospital soon as they have someplace to go. "

Buck's stare narrowed, as a thought occurred to him. "You're gonna do this with or without me, aren'tcha?"

"Yeah Buck, but I'd rather do it with you."

Buck took a second, obviously gathering more thoughts together. "OOKkay, Chris, but one condition."

"Name it."

"I want full custody, too. If we're gonna do this, it'll be as partners."

Chris chuckled, the word 'partners' a little too PC and legal for his tastes in this particular context. "I'm not marrying you, Buck!"

"Hell, we could fly to Canada tomorrow and get hitched!"

"Not funny, Wilmington!"

"From where I'm sittin' it is," Buck laughed, poking Chris in the ribs.

When they stopped laughing, they lay, side by side, silently for a few minutes.

"Doc say what kind of tests they want to run?"

"He wants to do a full body MRI on Vin. He wants to check for brain damage from the blood loss, check his vocal cords and he wants a medical history on him. Says he shows signs of abuse and he wants to get a closer look, make sure nothing's wrong with him. He's been complaining of back pain."

Buck sighed in sympathy for Vin. "Must really hurt; he ain't a complainer."

"I know. Doc also said Vin's been taken real good care of at some point. He's got a good vocabulary for his age, strong bones and his teeth are in good shape. It's probably been awhile though; he's at least 20 percent underweight. JD, on the other hand, is a little butterball, but probably from a bad diet. Doc says his teeth are a mess. He's got a mouth full of cavities and probably hasn't ever seen a dentist. His bone density is low so the Doc wants an MRI on him, too. Never seen a kid drink as much milk as JD does. He acts like he's never going to get any more if he doesn't drink as much of it as he can." 

"He's a cute little fella, ain't he?" Buck said, a smile plastered on his face.

"It's a survival mechanism, Buck. Nature made 'em cute so we don't kill 'em."

Buck brushed off his sarcasm, asking, "What do we gotta do to get ready for them?"

"I figure we'll put them both in the same room. They'll probably feel more comfortable that way. I've called a contractor, he can knock down the wall between the two small bedrooms and put in a bathroom."

"You're going to redo the house? You think about how much all this is going to cost yet?"

"Don't worry about it Buck. You know I'm not hurting for money."

"I guess I'll take the room off the laundry room."

"Been thinking about that, too," Chris said, staring at the ceiling.

"Oh, have you now?"

"If you said yes, I was going to have an addition put on. You'd have your own bedroom, bathroom, den and your own entrance, if you want it." He turned his head to see Buck's reaction. He didn't seem too sure.

"Could just share with you, that won't cost anything."

"Buck, don't worry bout money. Between what I got saved and our salaries, we'll be fine. When'd you start being such a money watcher? You spend yours like it's water."

"Won't have only myself to think about anymore. Makes a man a little more cautious, if I remember right," Buck replied, his face completely serious.

"We'll add the addition," Chris answered firmly. "You're my best friend, but I can only take so much togetherness. I need space. And I don't want you bringing women through the house. I'm not going to tell you to change, but I don't want the kids seeing you with a different woman five nights a week."

"I was only funnin with 'ya. I know you need space, Chris. Okay, we'll add the addition, and I'll keep the women away from the kids, but I'll pay you rent to help cover the cost, okay?"

Chris nodded. "Fine."

"Hey, I got one more condition."

"You said one, Buck," Chris warned.

"I'm serious, Chris."

Chris groaned. "What?"

"No drinking in the house."

"Don't go there, Buck."

"I know you don't have a real problem, but Chris, you're an ugly drunk. I don't have a problem with beer, but keep the whiskey and tequila for out of the house. I mean it. Those kids have seen enough, they don't need to see you on a bender."

Chris shot Buck a warning glance-- a real one this time. "I get your point, Buck. No benders around the kids. I wouldn't put 'em through that."

"Okay, then, that's fine. But Chris, we're talking about more than rules for women and booze. If we're going to raise these kids together, I got to have more say than normal."

Chris looked back to the ceiling. "Don't ask me to change who I am, Buck. It won't work."

"I'm not asking you to. Just asking you to run your big plans by me before going through with 'em."

Chris grinned, ready to be done with the conversation. "I told you I'm not marrying you."

"You saying I sound like the little woman?"

"You do when I do this," Chris said, then plunged a hand under the sheet, taking Buck's dick in a tight grip, eliciting a familiar squeal.

"Aw, pard, now that ain't fair!"

"I think you'll live," Chris laughed, and began stroking firmly, getting a series of moans from his friend that proved his point. 

***********************

Boy, was Buck going to be surprised, Chris thought. It'd been hard not to call him and tell him to meet him, particularly when he couldn't decide between the Durango or the Ram3000 - but Chris managed to keep his secret. Hell, he hadn't bought a new car in over 5 years - since he bought his Duelly - and he was damn excited about it. He'd decided to keep the massive pick-up - it made a great ranch vehicle - it could tow a four horse trailer without strain. And, since horses were the next big purchases on his list, well, he'd thought it best to keep the truck.

He had one more stop to make before going to the hospital. He needed two booster seats. He adjusted his seat and mirrors again then took a deep breath to inhale the new car smell. He'd decided against the leather. Leather and little kids just didn't mix, he knew from experience. But he hadn't skimped on anything; the price tag could attest to that.

Dr. Reed might let the boys go today and he wanted to be ready for them. The contractors finished the boys' room in two days and were still working on Buck's apartment, but that wasn't nearly so urgent. He'd had the pool cleaned and done some shopping, but he hadn't found a housekeeper just yet. That, he was waiting for the boys to do. They would be spending their days with him or her, it was only fair they were part of the interview process.

He almost couldn't believe the changes he was making to his life, but he'd been wanting change. He sure had that, now.

In the rush to get everything done, he'd been ignoring some of the harder facts - like the need for finding a therapist for both boys, testing for their education - which would start in just two months, and the fact that Vin's placement with him was, on paper at least, temporary. They'd work through it all, he was confident. He'd faced harder and survived.

He almost dreaded his return to full time work in two weeks, but knew with all the expense he was taking on, a month was all he could reasonably work only part-time - and still get paid his full salary, anyway.

He'd spent nearly all the money he'd inherited when his mother passed, two years before. It wasn't much, really, not to show for a lifetime of his parents' hard work, but it was enough for the construction on his home.

The truck, he'd paid cash for, dipping into the insurance money he'd received after Sarah and Adam's deaths. If it wasn't for Buck stopping him, he'd have burned the damn check. He didn't want money, he wanted his wife and son back. He hoped Sarah would be happy with his decision to take the two boys; hell, he *knew* she'd think it was the right thing to do. And he knew she'd be happy he was spending what he thought of as her money on things he needed for them.

He needed to find time to shop for more furniture for their room. They also needed clothes and toys. He'd put Ezra on that. Ezra had been offering his help all week, but Chris couldn't bring himself to let anyone else do what needed doing. It was his job to provide for them and he took it seriously. He didn't do anything halfway, but sending Ezra shopping, that, he could do.

He reached the mall parking lot just as his phone rang. Checking the caller ID and seeing Vin's hospital number displayed, he pulled into the nearest parking spot and picked up. "Hey kiddo," he said.

"How'd you know it was me?"

"Magic."

"You funnin with me?" the little voice asked.

"Sure am. What's up?"

"Nothin. Just wanted to say hi."

Chris knew the little boy really wanted to know when he was coming back to the hospital to see him, and Chris was itching to tell someone about his new truck, but he wanted to keep it a surprise. "Vin, can you keep a secret, just between us?"

"I sure can, Chris."

"I bought a new truck today. Now don't tell Buck or JD, it's a surprise. I have to stop off and get a couple of things, but then I'll be by, OKokay?"

"In an hour?" Vin asked.

"Maybe more like two hours. I have to go in the store, then drive across town. Can you keep our secret for that long?"

"I'm good at keeping secrets, Chris, I won't tell no one."

Now that was an understatement, Chris wanted to say. But Vin wouldn't understand. He still didn't know Vin's real last name. Vin insisted he didn't know it, but the boy wasn't a good liar. He was confident Vin would tell him in time. "Good boy." he said, "Have you eaten since this morning?"

"Can't."

"Your throat still hurting?"

"Only when I swallow."

"How about I bring you a milkshake? Think you can swallow that?"

"Chocolate?" Vin asked.

"Would I bring you any other kind?" Chris teased. "I'll see you in about two hours or so. Don't give Buck too hard a time, okay?"

"Okay. Bye!"

Chris said bye to the dial-tone then started looking for closer parking. Maybe he'd pick up some toys too. Couldn't hurt, Chris told himself. Besides, he was at a toys Toys R Us - how could he leave without picking up a toy or two?

***************

Chris didn't notice the doctors in the hallway until he was nearly on top of them, he was so focused on his goal of reaching the boys' room before he dropped one of his three bags.

"Mr. Larabee!" Dr. Reed greeted him with a big smile. "Right on time, according to Vin. He told me you'd be here anytime now."

Chris let the doctor take one of the bags off his hands and asked, "Everything okay?"

"Just fine.. better than fine, actually. This is Dr. Sanjay, she's a therapist and I thought we should all talk. If the exam I'm about to perform on the boys looks good, they'll be released tomorrow morning."

"I thought you were going to let them go today?" Chris asked, a little disappointed. 

"I'm waiting for some more blood work on Vin, and JD's stitches need another day. They're comfortable here now, thanks to you and Mr. Wilmington. They could do with another night's sleep before the excitement of going home. And, as a bonus, you won't have to bring JD back to have the stitches taken out tomorrow."

"That makes sense," Chris agreed.

"Okay, let's bring them what you have here and get on with it. Then they can enjoy the rest of the night and we'll release them in the morning." He motioned for Chris to proceed ahead of him and they all entered the room.

Buck sat on the floor with JD in his lap, huddled over the small table, coloring, again.

"Hey guys," Chris said as Vin looked up from where he was sprawled on his bed, coloring in his own book. 

"Chris!" his voice came out a hoarse shout.

"You okay?" Chris asked as he set his bags down just inside the door.

Vin nodded his head and whispered, "My throat hurts a little."

"He's been talking up a storm," Buck said, grinning. "He was telling me and JD all about Pokeman." Buck pointed to the TV, on but muted. 

"I used to watch it when I was little like JD," Vin told them. He looked at the doctors, warily, and Chris moved to stand next to him.

"The doctors want to take a look at you," Chris told him, "you might get to leave the hospital tomorrow."

Chris looked to Buck, deciding this was the best time to tell the boys the news. Until the judge had the paperwork signed and the issue resolved, the men had agreed not to tell the boys they were coming to live with them. If something happened to stop their plans, they didn't want the boys to be disappointed. But it was now a done deal and safe to tell them.

"Doc," Chris said without looking away from Vin, "Would you mind giving us about ten minutes?"

"No problem, we'll finish our rounds and be back." 

Chris stayed next to Vin's side and cleared his throat before speaking. "Vin, JD; Buck and I have something to tell you. Now before you get worried, it's good news."

"Real good news," Buck said as he tickled JD's belly.

"When you leave the hospital, you're going to come live with us out at my ranch."

"You have a ranch?" Vin asked, his eyes wide. "With horses?"

Hmmm, no reaction to living with them? Chris arched a brow in Buck's general direction. "No horses right now, but I plan on fixing that." Chris told Vin.

"When are we leaving?" JD asked.

Buck arched a brow back at Chris as he nudged JD's belly. "That's all you want to know? If we have horses and when you're leaving?" Buck asked them.

"Can we go right now?" Vin asked instead of answering Buck's question.

"Sorry, not tonight," Chris shook his head. "You need one more night here, according to the doc. JD's stitches are coming out in the morning, then you'll be coming home."

"When are they gonna take my stitches out?" Vin asked. "They're starting to itch something fierce."

"You're starting to sound like Buck." Chris said as he ruffled Vin's hair. Vin was becoming more accepting of Chris' small touches and it made Chris resolve to keep them up. Eventually, he would hold Vin like he did JD. He just had to be patient.

"Buck's from Texas?" JD asked, from nowhere.

"Nope, I'm from Nevada," Buck told him, his glance to Chris conveying the fact he didn't miss the little piece of information JD just unknowingly shared.

Chris decided to let it go. They'd talk about it later, among other things. "So, you boys okay with coming home with us?" Chris asked them.

"Sure," Vin said, going back to coloring.

"Yup." JD said, nodding his head. "Is it going to hurt when they pull the stitches out?" JD asked, his eyes going wide.

"It might just a tiny bit, JD, but you can squeeze my hand real tight if it does," Buck told him. "Last time I got stitches out, it tickled. Felt real funny, that string coming out. Didn't hurt, just felt like someone was tickling me."

"Okay." JD said, quite willing to believe his new hero.

"Boys?" Chris asked, "You okay for a couple of minutes while we talk to the doctors?"

When they both nodded, Buck put JD into his chair and unfolded himself from the floor. He followed Chris out the door, both men keeping their thoughts to themselves until they were out of earshot.

"Well..." Buck said once they were at the end of the hall.

"I thought they'd be a little more excited but at least they seem okay with it."

"There's the Doc, let's go find out what we need to so we can bring our boys home." Buck said as he clapped his hand to Chris' back.

"Ah, there you two are," Dr Reed said as he and Dr Sanjay approached Chris and Buck. "I take it the boys are settled in? Let's have a short meeting, then we'll examine them, then we can be out of your hair for the night." The doctors led them toward a small conference room and ushered them in.

"Doc," Buck said. "Chris and me got a question before we start."

Chris raised his eyebrows across the conference table - Buck knew he didn't like to be spoken for, but Buck did it time and time again.

"We told 'em they were coming home with us and all they wanted to know was when. Didn't faze 'em one bit. Hell, they weren't even excited."

"I can answer that, Mr. Wilmington," the therapist interrupted before Dr Reed could speak. "You've worked a routine around those two boys. You've been the ones to comfort them, to offer them safety. The surprise, to them, would have been if you just turned them over to someone else. They've expected to go home with you after the first week. Children respond to a routine and come to expect what they know to continue indefinitely."

"So you're saying if we weren't taking them home with us, we coulda hurt 'em real bad without realizing it?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Truthfully, Dr. Reed, here, against my judgment, allowed you unlimited access to them."

"I knew you'd try to find a way to take them in the first time I met you both. I figured some time getting to know them would only strengthen your resolve. When you told me a few days ago that you managed to make it work, well, let's say I took my wife out to dinner to celebrate a happy ending. Or in this case, a beginning. And that's why I've brought Dr. Sanjay in. She's been seeing the boys every day for the past week. Now that they're officially in your custody, it's your decision whether they continue to see a therapist, but I hope you see it's in their best interest."

"I've already been thinking about that, Doc. JD, particularly, needs someone to help him with what he's been through."

"While I agree with you about John, Mr. Larabee, I think Vin's case might be a little more acute at the moment. JD is verbal, he tells us what's bothering him. Vin withdraws into himself and I can't get him to talk at all. I'm concerned about his aversion to touch. Along with some other signs... well, I'm a psychiatrist, not a therapist and I don't want to speculate."

"You think he's been abused?"

"I suspect, and given the medical evidence, he's at a minimum been the recipient of some very rough physical treatment, but he won't talk to me at all."

"Well I don't see why he has to talk about it. If the boy wants to put it behind him, that's what he should do."

"Buck, it's not going to be that easy."

"Hell, why not? They're coming home with us and while we ain't perfect, they're gonna be loved and wanted. My mama taught me that's all a little kid really needs and she was right."

"While what you're saying is true, Mr. Wilmington, they also need help coming to terms with what they saw. Barring anything else they may have been through, JD's mother being violently murdered in front of them is going to leave them with scars. I know you want to give them the best foundation you can and I believe therapy is the way to go."

"I guess it can't hurt none." Buck agreed.

"Like I said, I've already been considering it," Chris told the doctors. 

"Good. Are you familiar with the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?"

Both Buck and Chris nodded but didn't elaborate.

The doctor accepted their word with a nod of her own before telling them, "I'll have some handouts for you and a list of therapists I recommend for the type of trauma they've experienced. Also, my recommendation is that you pick one immediately. The sooner they come to terms with what's happened, the sooner they can settle into their new lives. I'm not saying it's going to be easy or painless, but I will tell you it's not going to be hopeless. Remember that when you hit a rough spot. They're both intelligent, sweet, little boys who've been given a good start. It will get better."

"So is that all we need to know?"

"We have some medical decisions to make, but it shouldn't take too long. I know you're anxious to get back to them." Dr. Reed said.

"Will JD need follow-up care?"

"No, he has some soft tissue damage but all he needs to do is take it easy. As he heals, he will naturally return to the activity level of a normal five year old. Do you have a pool? Good," the doctor said in answer to Chris' nod. "Swimming will be an activity that will help. His body will tell him what he can and can't do. He'll fatigue easily for a time, but he'll be just fine in a couple of months. You'll want to chose a pediatrician for him. He can continue to see me, but that again will be your choice. I'll go over his medications with you when you leave tomorrow."

"And Vin?" Chris asked.

"Vin." The doctor shook his head. "Here's where we make some tough choices. As I told you, I think it's important we do an MRI on him. I'd like a full medical history and the only way we can get it without knowing who he is and getting his medical records is to examine him. I'm also worried about his cognitive skills but I'll let Dr. Sanjay explain that to you."

"I'm a neurologist and a psychiatrist and I specialize in brain injury. I'm not normally a therapist, though I am qualified and I've been seeing them because they know me. With Vin, we've been trying to keep his interaction with staff limited to as few doctors and nurses as we can. He doesn't react well to new faces attached to white coats. My specialty is not long-term therapy, which is why I'm recommending other doctors to you. Along with the emotional trauma, Vin has suffered some organic brain injury. When he lost almost two-thirds of the blood in his body, his brain was deprived of oxygen for a time."

Chris shook his head vehemently, "He seems fine."

"I agree, on the surface, he seems remarkably recovered."

"I sense a but coming on."

"But... you know Vin's seven, right?"

Chris nodded.

"He knows his alphabet and his numbers. He has a surprisingly large vocabulary, the accent notwithstanding."

They all chuckled for a moment, Chris' thoughts going back to Vin's finishing his milkshake that morning and declaring that he was "fuller than a tick on the underbelly of a coonhound."

The doctor continued, "But he's having some problems with some simple tasks. I've been working with him using flashcards with shapes and colors and he can't make the connection between the picture and the words. He's having the same problem with written letters and numbers. When I ask him to spell simple, age appropriate words out loud, he has no problem. I think we're looking at a form of anomic aphasia, from the oxygen deprivation. Another reason to get that MRI."

"He'll be able to learn to read and write, won't he?" Chris asked, fear seizing inside.

"As soon as his brain rewires itself, and with therapy yes. He's young, and with regular treatment, the effects of the condition will be temporary. But he knows something's wrong and he's frustrated by it. Earlier today I showed him some pictures and he couldn't match the words. When I described those same objects to him, he found the words with little difficulty. It's a very interesting case, really."

"He's not a case," Chris said, tensing.

"I understand that, Mr. Larabee. Really, I do. I see children all day, every day and each one is an individual to me, even when their cases make them interesting medically. My point is that there's nothing we can do for him medically besides map his brain for injured areas and be prepared for the consequences of those injuries. What he really needs is time for his brain to recover and remap itself."

"Just tell me what I can do to help and I'll do it."

"We," Buck interrupted.

"We," Chris repeated.

"Of course. That's what we're here for. There are some exercises you can do with him that will help. I'll prepare the information for you this evening. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to finish my rounds, I'm running late. I'll have a package ready to go with you tomorrow, all right?"

"Good," Chris said as he stood to leave with the doctor.

"Mr. Larabee, we're not finished." Dr Reed told him. "We have a long list of things to go over if the boys are going to be released tomorrow."

Chris groaned and scrubbed his face with his hands. Lord was he tired. "Okay, Doc." he said, bracing himself.

"First thing. I want to leave Vin's port in for a few more days. So, he'll be going home with it."

"Why?"

"Because he still can't swallow pills and it's less traumatic than having him swallow half a gallon of horrible tasting medicine a day. I want him sedated for the MRI and if he has the port in, we don't ever have to stick him and he won't have to have multiple doses of liquid sedatives. But it does need to be changed tonight."

"Wonderful," Chris groaned. 

"Oh, it won't be so bad. A little something to make him drowsy should relax him enough. It won't be painful, and we've explained it very carefully to him."

Chris nodded, relieved. "Good. So, what else?"

"The inner stitches should have dissolved by now and the outer ones will break up on their own as well. When we stitched him up in the OR, we folded the surface of the skin in and stitched him under the skin. It should help to minimize the scarring. But, sometimes, when stitches on the surface dissolve, they itch and pieces come out through the top of the skin. Keep him from scratching them. The nurses said he's been really good about not messing with them, but if he does, he could end up with a horrible scar. And that brings me to the next point."

Chris exhaled a resigned sigh. "Go on."

"He might need another surgery to reduce scarring. I know it's not something to really think about now, but keep it in the back of your mind for the future. It's important for his emotional well being he doesn't have a disfiguring scar."

"I agree."

"Good. Now on to the last topic. His recovery has been remarkable. The thing I want to stress is that he's going to take some time to recover physically. He nearly bled out, which leads to a host of other complications - the least of which being his blood chemistry is all over the place. It's why we've still got him on so much medication. It's going to take some time for his body to rebuild his own blood supply and he's going to be short on energy while he heals. While he's been in the hospital, it hasn't been noticeable because he's been confined to bed for the most part. Once you get him home, don't be surprised if he naps a lot, along with JD."

"Of course."

"His list of meds is going to be long, but he should be off them within a month. Don't let it overwhelm you. Remember, it's not permanent and for now, we'll keep the port in. You'll have to learn how to clean it and how to administer the medication through it. If you have any reservations about doing it, it would be better off if he stays here for a couple more weeks."

"That's not going to happen. He's coming home with JD, tomorrow."

"Which is exactly what I thought you'd say, but I did have to mention the option. Mr. Larabee, you should be proud of yourself for taking on this boy. It's not going to be easy and if he were going into state care, he'd probably end up staying here for another month, then going to a half-way house for children with special needs. JD's young enough to be adopted, but Vin's seven and he's going to need some special care for a time."

"Nothing to be proud of. It's the right thing to do. Besides, he's special. Doesn't take a genius to figure that out."

"They're all special, Mr. Larabee. This one just happened to touch you inside."

"He's got that right, old son." Buck piped in after being quiet for so long, Chris suspected he was asleep.

"Okay, what else do I need to know? I want to get back to them."

"We," Buck said around a big yawn.

Chris shot him a glare. "We," he finally said.

The doctor shuffled papers but Chris could tell he was laughing at them. "Damn. Buck thinks he's a comedian," Chris grumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Buck asked him, his eyes twinkling.

"Can it, Buck. Doc? We done?"

"Let's go do that exam and change Vin's port, then while you're having fun with the patients, I have a book to write."

"Huh?" Buck asked, having missed half the conversation.

"The after care instructions for the boys. It's going to be the size of a novel."

Buck winced, and Chris sighed. The day to day realities would make an appearance tomorrow, he knew.

Lynda came in just after them, with a little plastic medicine cup, heading straight for Vin. "You still have some Sprite, Vin? If you swallow it right after you take this stuff, you'll hardly taste it."

Vin reached for his soda can, breathing a huge, 'whew' when it still had plenty in it. Chris grinned at him, but watched silently as he tossed back the stuff in the cup then chased it with his Sprite.

"Very good. Now, give it about fifteen minutes, and you'll feel nice and relaxed when we change the port in your hand," she said, then smiled at him and moved over to assist Dr. Reed in JD's exam.

Vin tensed a little at the talk of changing the port, but it had all been explained to him earlier, so he was ready for it. Still, Chris didn't like the idea of him feeling tense; he longed to do something to make it easier on the boy.

"I sure wish there was something I could do to help," Chris told him, sitting next to him on the bed.

Vin shrugged. "I won't be a baby about it."

Chris grinned at him. "It never crossed my mind, pal."

Vin grinned back at him, looking a little proud. Then he scooted a little closer, and looked around the room to make sure nobody else was listening. Chris arched an eyebrow, intrigued at what tid-bit Vin intended to share with him.

"Don't really hurt much. It's just really yucky to look at," he finally whispered, punctuating his words with a full-body shudder.

"Oh, I know," Chris said, keeping his face as serious as possible. "Sometimes stuff like that just gives you the shivers."

"You, too, huh?" Vin said, his mouth still scrunched from his 'yucky' face.

"Oh yeah, me too," Chris assured. "Good thing the doc, there, doesn't get the shivers over it, huh," he added with a wink and a little nudge against Vin's shoulder.

Vin chuckled softly, and nudged him back, then yawned.

"Looks like you're getting good and relaxed, buddy," Chris whispered.

"Yup," Vin agreed softly, his eyes getting a little droopy.

"Okay, Vin. How about we get that port business out of the way?" Dr. Reed said, coming to stand in front of the drowsy boy.

Vin nodded, held up his hand, and ducked his head against Chris' side.

"Well, I think we can find an easier way than that," Chris said. Vin looked up at him, heavy-lidded, and waited for Chris to finish. "It won't take too long, so why don't you climb up here in my lap, then Dr. Reed can stand behind me and work on your hand, so neither of us will have to see it?"

Vin looked at him, puzzled.

"Here," Chris murmured, and lifted Vin slowly so he wouldn't spook. He settled Vin on his lap, facing him, so that his little Cowboy Pajama clad thighs rested on either side of Chris'. Vin slid his arms under Chris' armpits and around his back, then rested his head on Chris' chest.

Dr. Reed walked around to the other side of the bed, where could access Vin's hand freely. "Perfect," the doctor said quietly.

Chris wanted so badly to wrap his arms around Vin and turn this into a hug. The boy wasn't ready for that, though, so Chris fought the urge. He did, however, run one hand lightly over Vin's back, making small circles as Vin sighed and settled more heavily against him.

He craned his neck to see Vin's face. He was awake, but definitely under the full effects of the sedative and a long day, breathing even and his eyes closed more often than open. He winced a little, and Chris knew that his hand must be smarting a little. Chris inched his head closer to Vin's, dropping a quick, soft kiss just at Vin's scalp line, on his forehead. "You're doing great, Vin," he whispered, and eased his face back a little to gage Vin's reaction. The boy gave him a half grin before his eyelids fluttered closed again.

The doctor finished a moment later, and for a second Chris selfishly wished it'd lasted just a minute or two longer. "All done," Dr. Reed announced softly.

Chris slipped his hands under Vin's armpits and eased him back onto the bed. "That wasn't so bad, now, was it?"

Vin shook his head no, and yawned. Chris tempted one more gentle touch to Vin's hair, then stood back, making sure the doctor had plenty of access to Vin for the evening exam.

Dr. Reed pressed his stethoscope to Vin's chest, slipping it under the cover of his pajama top, Vin keeping perfectly still. "Can you take a deep breath for me?"

Vin nodded and took a breath, but it morphed into another yawn. Chris quirked his eyebrow at the doctor, but he just grinned back at him. "Can't get a much deeper breath than a yawn. Works out fine for me."

He then closely checked the stitches at Vin's throat, nodding to himself, though Chris took it as a good sign. "Any headaches, Vin?" he asked. Vin shook his head no. "Throat still hurts inside a little?"

"Sometimes," Vin murmured. "Not 's much."

"That's good," the doctor answered him with a smile. "You're getting better, Vin."

The boy gave him a half-grin in return, and his eyes closed again, a deep breath puffing from his lips.

The doctor straightened up and turned to Chris. "Perfect timing. He'll be drowsy for another fifteen or twenty minutes, then probably sleep through the night.

"Story," Vin whispered, and both men turned a sideways grin at the boy.

"A story before bed has become part of this little routine," Chris explained. 

"Oh, I see. Well, I don't want to break the routine, so I'll leave you boys to story time. I'll see you tomorrow, Vin, before you're discharged."

The doctor put Vin's chart back in the slot at the end of his bed, then waved goodnight. Buck took that as his cue, and came over to Vin's bed with JD. He sat on the bed, keeping JD in his lap, and gave Vin one of his widest grins. "So, you two get sprung from this place tomorrow, huh? You're all set?"

Vin nodded at him, a faint smile on his lips.

"I have an idea for story time," Buck said then, and Chris suppressed a groan. Buck's ideas were often something the least expected-- and not always in a good way. One of Buck's most oft-uttered phrases was, 'seemed like a good idea at the time.'

JD sure seemed interested, though. "What? What?" he asked, neck bent far back to see Buck's face.

"Instead of a story from a book, why don't Chris and I take turns telling stories about all the interesting things you can find at the ranch to play with or get into?"

JD smiled hugely. "Yeah!"

Vin smiled a little too, and nodded his agreement.

"All right, Buck, why don't you start for us?" Chris said, sending Buck an evil grin. It was his bright idea, so he could go first.

"Fine by me," Buck replied, a bit of a prissy tone in his voice. "One of my favorite things at the ranch is the little creek that runs along the back of the house, about fifty yards. If ya like splashing in mud puddles, you will love splashing in that creek."

"Uh, Buck?" Chris said, interrupting before the man got too carried away.

"Huh? What? Oh... well, some of these interesting things, like the creek, Chris and I should be with ya for a while, till you get used to the place and get a bit bigger."

There, that was better. It was a nice idea Buck had, talking to them more about the ranch the night before they went there for the first time. Give them pleasant thoughts about it; have them thinking of it in part as an adventure. And Chris was looking forward to some of their times together actually being an adventure. Chris sat again, next to Vin, and grinned at him before looking back to Buck.

"Well, go on, Buck. I wanna hear some of this story myself."

 

********

The kids all discharged and ready to go, all that remained was getting them to the truck. Vin had kept his word -- and Chris' secret -- about the purchase of the new truck, and Chris shared a private grin with the boy as they walked through the hospital's front doors and toward the parking garage.

Buck carried JD on one hip, his excited bouncing of the child not lasting too long once the reality of JD's heavy weight set in. By the time they'd reached the steps for the second level of the structure, Buck was huffing and puffing, JD giggling, thinking it was a new game. Chris tried not to laugh, having caught a warning glance from his friend.

Vin had allowed Chris to hold his hand on the way to truck, Chris having explained that these parking garages could be dangerous, people not always driving carefully in them. Chris had also told Vin that he could give him a secret hand signal that way, once they got near the new truck. That sealed the deal, of course.

"Where in the heck did you park, Chris? Timbuktu?" Buck groused, eyes unknowingly scanning the slots for the wrong vehicle.

"Right up there, pard! You blind? You need glasses?" Chris teased, and then gave Vin's hand two short squeezes to let him know the truck was two slots up. Vin cocked his head at him and grinned.

"Very funny, Chris," Buck muttered, hoisting JD upward again from where he'd slid down a bit.

Chris and Vin slowed, and he let Vin shake his hand loose as he finally stopped in back of the new black Durango. Buck turned around and looked at him, his face puzzled.

"Surprise," Chris said, grinning as he stuck the key into the back hatch.

"You didn't," Buck whispered, frozen in place as JD slowly slid right back down his hip.

"I did," Chris answered, putting the boys' backpacks in the vehicle and closing the hatch again.

"We get to drive home in that?" JD squealed, eyes round and mouth opened in a big O.

"Yep, we do," Vin said, "And you and me got our own special seats in the back!"

"You knew?" Buck said, bending down to give Vin a playful poke in the belly. 

Vin giggled a little, said "Yep," and didn't shy away, but neither did he stand around for more. He grinned, but moved closer to Chris' leg. "Can we go now?" he asked softly, though his eyes twinkled with the adventure of seeing the ranch.

"You bet." Chris opened the back door on his side, while Buck opened the one on his side. Both men gave a boost to get the kids up and in the big SUV, grinning at each other over the boys' heads as they scanned the interior and played with all the doo-dads they could flip or twist with their little fingers. It was so roomy, the kids could stand up and pretty well walk around back there.

"It's big enough to live in here!" JD said, eyes bugged out.

"Almost, squirt, almost," Buck chuckled. "For now, let's just get you in this seat so we can go home, all righty?"

JD bobbed his head, then plopped in his seat. Vin sat into his seat, squirming his little butt around to get comfy. Chris stifled a laugh, and reached for the seat belt. 

Vin took it from him, and pulled it out enough, then snapped it into place. "All set," he said, smiling.

"Good job, pal," Chris said, then ruffled his hair, backed out, and shut the door. He was in the driver's seat and had the ignition turned, but Buck was still struggling to get JD all buckled in.

"Ya gotta get it in that thing right there," Vin said, and leaned his body over as far as he could, pointing to the correct buckle they needed to get the latch into. "That one ya got there is for the big people seat belts."

"I'll be darned," Buck muttered, making Chris laugh. "Don't make fun, now," Buck said, laughter in his own voice, "I'm not used to this fancy contraption yet."

The boys giggled at him, and Chris saw him wink at them through the rear view mirror. After just a little more fiddling, Buck and JD were all squared away, and Chris locked the doors, and got them on the road home.

============

 

By the time they pulled up the long drive, both boys were pressed against their windows, JD babbling incessantly while Vin just peered out, chin resting on the hand laying on the door's narrow window sill. At last Chris pulled up in front of the house, not surprised by the butterflies in his stomach. He'd stayed up late moving things around in the boys' room and then moving them back again, still not sure everything was where it ought to be. In a perfect world, everything would be perfect for Vin and JD, including their room. But if it were a perfect world, the boys wouldn't have been through the hell that brought them to him in the first place, so Chris knew they'd all have to settle for the best they could manage.

He stopped the Durango, pulled out the keys and turned around. "We're home."

JD bounced, tugging at his seat belt. "Lemme out, lemme out! We're here!"

Vin shook his head at the younger boy, but reached over and pressed his finger on the push-button release on the belt buckle. "Hold your horses, JD. Gotta wait for Buck to open the door for ya anyways."

"Good boy, Vin," Chris said, hopping out of the driver's seat. He opened Vin's door for him, finding Vin unbuckled, but waiting patiently, not having tried to open the door himself. "Kids aren't allowed to open their own doors, 'cause it could be dangerous. Did you hear that, JD?" Chris called over to JD, who was still squirming mercilessly as Buck tried to free him from the booster seat.

"Lemme down! I gotta see!" JD squealed, not having heard a word.

"He got ants in his pants again, Chris. I'll remind him next time," Vin promised as they walked around the back to get their backpacks.

"Thanks, Vin. Appreciate that. Good to have an extra pair of eyes on a little boy like JD, huh," Chris said, proud of how Vin did watch out for the younger boy.

"Don't I know it," Vin muttered, taking one of the backpacks from Chris.

Chris snorted, thinking again that Vin sounded oddly like Buck.

"Come on!" JD hollered from the front door, waiting for Vin to catch up with him.

Chris ruffled Vin's hair. "Well, you heard the boy, let's go."

Vin smiled up at him, nodded, and they headed for the door.

 

Inside, both boys looked all around, slowly taking in the sight of the living room, and wandered to the wide foyer that led to the kitchen. Chris caught a glance at Buck's face, saw that he was about as nervous as he was.

"Wanna see your room?" Buck asked.

"Yeah!" JD answered right away, grinning ear to ear.

Buck led them down the hallway and to their door. He pushed it open, then stepped aside, letting them go in first. Their steps slowed as they walked in, eyes taking it all in.

"Wow," JD whispered reverently, standing next to Vin. 

"It's yours, boys. Explore," Buck encouraged.

Chris leaned against the door jam, watching as the boys finally moved from the center of the room to their beds, on the left side. A nightstand stood between the two twin beds, both facing the large window. One of the beds sported a comforter and pillowcases with Indians and teepees, while the other was covered with cowboys, lassoes and horses. 

"More Indians!" JD shouted with glee, jumping onto the bed. Chris grinned, watching Vin go sit on his bed, his face wearing the small, lopsided smile that Chris had learned meant the boy was happy. 

Two small dressers sat under the window opposite the beds, a baseball glove with a ball inside sitting atop each. JD bounced off of his bed and crawled under it, shouting out his amazement that it was high enough to do so, while Vin wandered over to the dresser opposite his bed. He picked up the baseball and glove, then looked to Chris in the doorway, question in his eyes.

"It's yours, Vin. Go ahead," Chris assured.

Vin turned the glove over in his hands, fingers skimming over the soft leather. The corner of his mouth turned up, and Chris could tell by the dimple forming in his cheek that Vin was fighting a bigger smile.

"Once you get that port out of your hand, you and I can play catch whenever we want," Chris told him.

"Really?" Vin asked, a dimple forming on the other cheek, as well.

"You bet, pal."

JD crawled out from under his bed, then, and scampered toward the other end of the room, where there were two small desks, with paper, crayons, water color sets and activity books sitting on top. There were a few more supplies in the drawers, but Chris wanted the boys to see some of their things sitting out when they first saw their room.

"Vin! Vin! Lookit here! We gots a lotta paper to draw on! And it ain't even all white! There's paper all kinda colors!" JD gushed.

Vin put down the baseball and glove, grinned at Chris, then joined JD at their desks. They sat in the chairs made especially for the desks-- the contractors had been happy enough to do the extra carpentry work on this bit of furniture for the boys-- and opened and closed the drawers. Vin finally seemed more relaxed in his exploring, finally, Chris hoped, realizing that the room and things in it really were his and JD's.

Vin pulled away from the desk to look at the three sets of folding double-doors that ran the length of the wall on that end of the room. "What're these?" he asked.

"Open 'em and see," Buck encouraged, shooing Vin with his hand.

Vin shrugged and tugged the door on the far end. There wasn't much in it-- yet-- but a couple button-down shirts hung in it, a shoe rack with one pair of tennis shoes that Chris prayed would fit, and at the bottom, a nerf basketball goal and ball.

"That closet is yours, Vin. The one next to it, in the middle, is JD's," Buck answered the boy's questioning glance at him.

Vin walked over to the third set of doors. He looked back at them, smiling again, then opened those. JD came over to look, too. "We gots a bathroom in our closets?"

Chris laughed. "It's a shortcut for you boys. There's another door into that bathroom from the hall, too."

Vin nodded, appreciation written all over his face. "Nice," he said softly.

"All right, then. You two can play awhile and get settled while we get lunch together, then we'll show you the rest of the ranch," Chris said.

 

JD hadn't seemed too sure about the chicken salad sandwich for lunch, though he zeroed in on the chips quickly enough. But once Chris taunted him into trying it, the boy chomped his way through it happily. Didn't take a genius to figure out that JD's diet had been pretty limited, and that a lot of the foods they introduced to him might be met with some resistance. Vin, on the other hand, seemed eager to try anything they put in front of him, as long as it wasn't difficult to swallow, and was grateful that they'd made the bits of chicken small enough that he didn't need to chew mercilessly to get it down. He used his fork and mostly scooped the chicken salad from the bread, and that was fine with Chris.

After lunch, Vin had predictably gotten pretty worn out, so they settled the kids on the couch in front of the television, where Vin could nap and JD could watch cartoons-- with the sound reasonably low-- until he also succumbed and ended up taking a decent nap himself.

Once naptime came and went, the boys had gotten reenergized and were ready for a tour of the ranch. The boys oddly didn't seem as enthusiastic about the pool as they were about the barn. Poor Vin had to be careful of the port in his hand, so couldn't do the kind of investigating any self-respecting seven year old boy would do. But he was happy to see it nonetheless, and Chris was sure he enjoyed walking through the pastures to see where the horses, when they got them, would roam.

The day seemed to fly, as far as Chris was concerned, and he almost couldn't believe it that he was already getting supper on the table. He'd gotten creative again, trying to put together a nutritious meal that Vin could manage with the rest of them. He just hoped Vin's throat wasn't too overworked today, so that he could manage a bit of the biscuits that went with the meal.

He got the dish of peas on the table, the milk for the boys and Buck, and scooped a little of everything onto the boys' plates. "Come and get it," he hollered into the direction of the living room.

Chris chuckled to himself as the sounds of his new herd pounded through the house toward the kitchen.

"Vin, JD, you boys can sit right there," he said, pointing to their plates.

Buck automatically took the spot that had the third glass of milk next to the plate, and then Chris took a seat with his coffee.

"Is that shit on a shingle?" Vin asked happily, and Chris nearly spit out the sip of coffee he'd just taken.

JD's eyes flew open wide and his jaw dropped. "Vin said shit! We ain't eating shit, are we?"

Buck turned his head into his shoulder, his body shaking with his ill-disguised laughter. Chris shot him an irritated glance that Buck couldn't even see, then turned his face back to the boys. "JD, we are not eating shit. That phrase is another way to say creamed chipped beef on toast. Vin didn't mean to say a bad word."

"But there ain't even toast," JD said, his face a mask of confusion. "And how can beef get made into 'tato chips? Don't see none of them, either."

Vin looked confused then, too. "So you gotta call it that cream thing when you put it on biscuits instead of toast?"

"I think we should call it creamed chipped beef even when we do put it on toast, just to be careful of using the shit word," Buck piped in.

Vin shrugged, apparently not caring what they called it, as long as he got to eat it. JD poked at a creamy, beef covered biscuit, and Chris kicked himself for not trying something that would be more familiar to JD.

"I think it's bad to call something chips when there ain't no 'tatoes in it," JD finally said.

"Don't knock it till you try it, kiddo. Take a bite. I promise you'll like it," Buck told him, taking a huge bite and closing his eyes as he mmmm'd it down.

That did the trick, and JD managed to gather some on his fork. Once he got it in his mouth and started chewing, he looked up at the others, and his face brightened with surprise. 

"Pretty good, huh," ?" Vin said to him then took another bite himself. Chris noticed that Vin avoided most of the biscuit, but did get some of the softer part of the moist bread with his bites.

JD agreed with Vin, and dug in more. Once he'd made a dent into half of the open-faced biscuit, he pointed to his plate, his head cocked sideways. "What are them little green balls?"

Vin chuckled at him a little. "Them are peas, JD. Ain'tcha ever had peas?"

"Nope. I don't think I like peas."

"JD, try some of them. They taste pretty good, and they're good for ya," Chris told him.

JD gave him a sideways look, with his eyes narrowed. "You tryin' to trick me?"

Chris chuckled at him. "No, I'm not trying to trick you. Just try 'em before you decide you don't like 'em."

The boy sighed, and shoveled some onto his fork. Of course, there was only one left on his fork by the time it made it to his mouth. Vin giggled softly, and Chris grinned at him, before getting up to get JD a spoon.

"Couldn't hardly taste it," JD said, once the lone pea had been swallowed.

"It's no wonder, boy, most of them ended up in your lap!" Buck teased, picking peas up from JD's lap and chair, then tossing them into the sink.

Chris handed JD the spoon, and the boy used it to get a decent mouthful this time. He seemed okay with them, but his eyes didn't light up the way they did when he tried the beef and biscuit.

Vin managed a fair amount of what was on his plate, though he left most of the biscuits. Chris scooped a little more of the creamed beef onto Vin's plate, figuring that the bread usually did the job of filling the belly, and if Vin ate less of that, he probably hadn't had enough to eat yet.

"You don't have to eat it all if you're full, but it's there for you if you want it."

Vin looked up at him, swallowed his milk, and whispered, "Thanks," then dug in a little more.

JD rubbed his eyes with his fists-- one of which still had a fork sticking out of one end, and a piece of beef fell from it, to the floor. Buck grinned, and leaned over, saying quietly to Chris, "At least the fork was sticking out of that end, and not the end he rubbed with."

Chris wasn't bothered, though. You had kids around, food ended up on the floor. Fact of life. But he also knew that when a kid was tired at dinnertime, it often meant a cranky phase, and Chris just had a feeling that JD was headed into one of those.

"I don't like this anymore," JD said on cue, and put his fork on his plate, then crossed his arms, huffing to himself. "I want hotdogs again."

"Hotdogs? Hotdogs is weekend and camping food, not supper food," Buck said, finishing up a bite of his dinner.

"Nuh-uh! Hotdogs is so supper food! My momma said so!" JD yelled at Buck, his pudgy face scrunching up in anger.

"Boys," Chris said in a low, warning tone. "No arguing. Buck, don't make fun of what other people like for supper. JD, we'll have hotdogs another time. We have to have stuff that other people like, too, once in a while."

The boy looked up at him from under lowered lashes, pouting a little, but he didn't argue with him. He muttered a quiet, "Okay," and toyed with his peas a little.

Buck threw Chris a relieved glance, silently thanking him for heading off what obviously could have been an uglier swing of moods for JD. Chris nodded back subtly, then turned to Vin. The boy looked like he was getting sleepy again, and like JD, was reduced to picking at what was left on his plate.

"You full, buddy, or is your throat a little sore?" Chris asked softly.

"It's a little sore, but I'm full, too," he answered, his voice a little raspy.

"Okay, then. You wanna go curl up on the couch and watch some TV for a while?"

Vin nodded, his head leaning against the back of his chair.

"All right, go on then. We'll be there in a minute."

Vin scooted back from the table, and started to pick up his plate. 

Buck quickly stopped him, waving a hand in his direction. "I'll get that for you, Vin. You just go get comfortable and rest for a bit, ya hear?"

"Thanks," Vin said, letting go of the plate and shuffling off to the living room."

"You wanna go with him, JD, or do ya think you might wanna eat some more?" Chris asked.

"I wanna go with Vin," he said, rubbing his eyes again as he climbed down from the chair. 

Once he was gone, Chris and Buck both sighed, heavily.

"Coulda been worse," Buck said. "Coulda tried to make him eat spinach." Buck shuddered dramatically.

"I like spinach," Chris said, looking sideways at his friend, then took one last bite of his own supper before pushing his plate back.

Buck laughed. "Go on, spend some time with the boys. You cooked, I'll clean up."

"That's a deal," Chris said, and got up to see what the kids had managed to find on the TV.

 

===========

"It's not my bed!" JD cried again. "I," hiccup, "wanna," another hiccup, "go home! Momma! I want my momma!"

"Here, we go, JD," Buck crooned, picking JD up from the bed to hold him for a while. He looked over his shoulder at Chris, who sat perched on Vin's bed. "I'll put him back to bed when he falls asleep."

Chris nodded at him, and Buck left the room with the crying child hiccupping and sobbing into his neck.

Chris looked down at Vin, pulled his blankets a little higher and ruffled his hair lightly. "You okay, pal?"

Vin nodded yes, but his eyes were a little red and a bit moist. 

"It's hard when JD gets so sad, huh," Chris said, hoping maybe Vin would open up a little about his own emotions.

"Yeah. He misses his momma a lot," Vin said quietly.

"What about you, Vin? Do you miss Vicki?" Chris asked, hoping he wasn't pushing too hard.

Vin shrugged and scanned the room with his eyes. "She was nice, I guess. When she didn't hafta go to work. But..." Vin paused, looked toward the door, then back at Chris. "She wasn't so good at bein' a mama," he finally said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Vin... JD's mama... did you ever see her hit JD?" Chris said, keeping his voice as soft as he could.

Vin sighed, seemed to think about it, then finally said, "You ever seen a bitch with puppies?"

Chris was stunned, unable to wrap his mind around why Vin had taken this turn in thought and the language he used to express it. He just nodded though, indicating Vin should go on.

"You know how sometimes she has to nip her puppies when they do bad? It's cause she doesn't want 'em botherin the big dogs. She tells 'em what's right and wrong so they don't do wrong around the other dogs -- cause the mama just nips 'em but the bigger dogs would really hurt 'em. Vicki only done JD like that. She didn't never hurt him none."

Chris cleared his throat before trying to answer, actually not sure at all how he should answer. "So she was a good mama in that way, but not in other ways?"

Vin gave him a one-shoulder shrug as he thought about it. "I don't think a good mama lets a mean man like that live with 'em for that long."

"I suppose that's true. But, Vin, Vicki was really, really young when she became JD's mama. She just didn't have enough time to grow up and learn the things that a lot of mamas learn before they have their babies," Chris tried to explain.

"JD still loves her lots," Vin said softly, his eyes getting suspiciously moist again.

"He does. And he's gonna miss her for a long time. There's nothing wrong with that, either. It's normal to cry and miss your mama when she's gone," Chris said, risking another light touch to Vin's cheek.

Vin didn't flinch, but he took a deep breath and his emotions seemed to settled again.

"Thanks for telling me about Vicki and JD. It helps a lot to understand JD and how to take care of him. I have another question for ya, though," Chris added carefully.

Vin's eyebrows furrowed a little, giving him the expression that said he was getting suspicious of something. "All right," he said, granting Chris permission to ask.

"Did Vicki ever have to nip at you?" he asked, hoping his voice sounded as gentle as he'd tried to make it.

Vin didn't seem bothered by the question, though. "Nah. She didn't never need to, and I don't know... It's like with the puppies... I wasn't really hers anyways."

Good lord. It was just wrong, in so many ways, that a seven year old child had to understand things like this. Chris didn't how in the world he was going to help Vin feel that someone would take care of him from now on, and treat him as if he was their own.

"Buck and I are gonna try real hard to take good care of you and JD," Chris finally said, brushing Vin's hair from his forehead. "We want you to be happy here, with us. I know you don't wanna talk about what happened to you before you started living with JD and Vicki, but I want you to know that if you change your mind, you can tell me anything. Okay?"

"Okay," Vin answered, a tad wary.

It was hard, but Chris knew that he had to leave it at that, for the time being. If he crossed the line, if he pushed, Vin would never trust him. "So, you maybe wanna hear a story to help you sleep?"

"Yeah," Vin said, his face showing his relief that Chris was keeping his word and dropping the questions. Chris brushed the boy's hair one more time, then reached into the nightstand for one of the boys' new books.

 

After a half-hour of reading, Chris was beginning to get hoarse, so he was grateful that Vin finally nodded off. He kept going for another several minutes, not wanting to stop until Vin was deeply asleep. He was just rising from Vin's bed, when Buck came in with a lightly snoring JD and got him tucked into bed.

Out in the hall, he whispered to Buck, "I'll sleep with my door open so I can hear them. Just in case."

"I was thinking the same thing," Buck answered with a grin.

"Been a long day, pard. I'm gonna read for a bit and then turn in."

"Good idea," Buck agreed, and headed off to his room, waving and mouthing 'goodnight' over his shoulder.

Chris got to his bedroom and stripped down to his boxers. He couldn't decide if he should give their first day together a passing or failing grade. On the one hand, the boys seemed to settle in okay, but on the other hand, the night wasn't over yet, and he had no idea if the emotional upheaval would make its presence known again.

He'd been so damned tempted to come out and ask Vin if he missed his own mama-- had come damned close to implying it and had extended more than one invitation for Vin to talk about it, some more subtle than others. It astonished Chris that Vin could so smoothly voice an opinion over Vicki Flaherty's mothering skills. Somewhere along the line, Vin had seen for himself what it took to be a good mother and could apply it to others.

That analogy with the bitch and her pups had nearly left Chris speechless. He had the feeling that when he was ready to angle a little more information out of Vin, casual discussions of dogs just might reward him with some more clues. He'd have to be careful not to look like he was prying. Then again, Vin wouldn't be happy to find that Chris was being sneaky about getting information, either. But no way could Chris just ignore something that could put him on the trail of the boy's past.

He crawled between his sheets, but ignored the book on his nightstand. He wouldn't be able to concentrate, anyway. He was exhausted, but didn't know if he'd be able to sleep. He'd taken on a hell of a lot of responsibility, taking guardianship of those boys, and couldn't help but question whether he'd be up to the task.

One thing he felt sure of-- and didn't care if it sounded arrogant-- was that they were better off with him and Buck than they'd be in the social services system. They weren't taking the boys for a tax benefit or state income, the way most foster families did. And he was a way for the boys to stay together, something else the system could probably never manage; not with two boys with special circumstances, and not in any other home that would meet with Chris' approval.

Chris and Buck had a long road ahead of them, and a mystery to unfold that would probably get uglier and uglier along the way. But the more Chris envisioned Vin's anguished little face as he spoke of boys who miss their mamas, the more Chris just knew in his gut he'd done the right thing.  
>


	2. Settling In

******************************************

With all the furniture and renovations and clothes shopping needed for getting the boys settled, one of the more important things had kind of fallen by the wayside; namely, groceries. Chris had picked up a few things that got them through a couple of days, but he'd forgotten just how much an entire family could go through in the way of food.

Chris hadn't been thrilled by the prospect of taking both boys into the market by himself on their first trip with him, especially when both were fresh from the hospital. But he couldn't leave one with a sitter and take the other; he'd never hear the end of it from the child left behind. And after one look at those pleading faces, he couldn't leave them both behind, either. So he'd done what every good leader does; called in reinforcements.

"What are you two up to back there?" Chris asked, looking in the rear view mirror to get a look at the two chattering boys strapped in back.

"Nothing." JD said.

"Vin?" Chris asked.

"Nothin."

"That's a lot of noise for nothing," Chris teased, pleased to hear the boys' muffled giggles.

"There's Buck!" JD suddenly shouted and pointed, trying to get out of his seat for a better look, but the belts held him securely.

Perfect timing, Chris thought. Of course, it helped that he'd arranged for Buck to get out of the office a little early. Chris probably shouldn't have done it while he, himself was taking vacation time off to get the boys settled, but the caseload was in a light phase, so it didn't hurt anything. 

Chris honked the horn with a single tap as he slid into an open parking spot on the other side of Buck's old truck. Buck jumped out of the truck and high-tailed it to JD's side of the Durango, getting him unbuckled as JD chattered more about how neat the SUV was. It was still a novelty to the kid, and honestly, to Chris, too.

Vin had gotten his own seatbelt unbuckled, but obediently waited for Chris to open his door for him, then jumped out with a grin. "I really get to help pick out stuff?" he asked again. "You ain't just teasing me?"

Chris grinned right back at him, and took Vin's hand to walk through the parking lot. "I'm not teasing, pal. You can't just grab anything now, but you get to have some input, yeah."

"Make sure JD knows that," Vin said, glancing back at JD bouncing on Buck's hip, right behind them. "He'll be trying to fit the whole candy aisle in the cart."

Chris laughed, imagining it already. "Well, you and I'll just have to keep JD and Buck in line then, won't we?"

Vin's jaw dropped. "You gotta keep Buck in line in the store?"

"Oh yeah, if I don't watch Buck, he'll be grabbing for all kinds of things in there that won't fit in the cart," Chris answered with a grin.

"I heard that," Buck yelled just loud enough for them all to hear.

When they got to the front of the store, Chris pulled out a cart, and then decided that maybe they should get two. "Here, Buck, you grab one, too."

"Are we getting that much?" Buck asked, looking a little wary.

"Toughen up, big fella. We'll make it out alive, I promise."

"Hardy, har har," Buck replied, but he still looked less than convinced as he pulled another cart out.

"Buck, relax. We're gonna need a lot of staples, and before long, the seats on both of these things might be in use."

"I ain't sittin' in a baby seat," Vin said, crossing his arms and looking fierce. Well, as fierce as a kid his size could look. 

Chris tried hard not to laugh. "Hey, there's no shame in taking a rest if the shopping expedition wears you out." Vin didn't budge, though, which just made it harder for Chris, who finally let a chuckle escape. "Okay, then, no sitting in the seat. But if you need a rest, you can ride in the cart. How's that sound?"

Vin sighed dramatically, even as he cast a speculative eye on the basket area of the big grocery cart. "Only if I'm plum wore out, though."

Chris grinned. "Deal. Now let's get started."

Vin kept close to the cart, little fingers sometimes actually clinging to the metal mesh of the basket area. He was enthusiastic about helping to pick out food, and his choices sometimes surprised the hell out of Chris. He'd spotted a box of Scalloped Potatoes, and had a lengthy discussion with JD about how they fit potatoes inside the box, and how it is a box that size could feed more than one person. Telling JD that they were little dried up slices of potato had the surprising effect of rousing JD's enthusiasm even more. For a kid who was really particular about the types of macaroni he would eat, he sure seemed anxious to see what dried up potatoes would look and taste like.

Right in the same dinner-in-a-box aisle, came another cry of joy, just moments later.

"SPONGEBOB! They gots Spongebob macs and cheese!"

"Hey, they got Scooby Doo mac and cheese, too!" Vin added, just as excited, but not nearly at the volume JD was.

"All right, boys, get two Spongebob and two Scooby, okay?" Chris said, watching as the boys scampered back to the carts to lay claim to the very special boxes of macaroni and cheese.

By the time they hit the canned vegetable aisle, Vin was definitely looking worn out. His little body was still recovering from the trauma heaped upon it, so it wasn't any wonder that his feet were beginning to drag. Chris just hoped he could coax Vin into giving himself a break and taking a ride in the cart for a while.

As JD uttered a distinct 'Yuck' for every vegetable that Buck suggested, Chris began moving items from one end of the basket area to the other, moving a few of the more fragile things to the seat. Vin watched him from the corner of his eye, his expression clouded partly with wariness and partly with longing. Chris thought he knew a way to salvage a little of Vin's pride, though.

"All right, kiddo. I know you don't want to, but it's time to ride for a bit. Time to give that hand a rest anyway," Chris said, pointing to the port still in Vin's hand.

Vin looked up at him and nodded, a little bit of relief in his eyes. Chris picked him up and hauled him into the cart, where there was room for him at the end, to sit cross-legged and still leave room for the groceries piled at the other side.

"I wanna ride, too!" JD announced, staring Buck down as effectively as a hardened criminal. Chris grinned, watching as Buck hauled the little butterball up and got him into the seat of the cart.

"Watch for swinging legs, pard," Chris warned.

"Huh?" Buck said, looking at the cans of creamed corn.

"JD, be careful swinging them legs, or you'll nail Buck in the nads," Vin called out from their cart.

Buck straightened up in a flash, fear alight in his eyes, and Chris laughed softly. Vin's vocabulary had some really interesting entries.

Getting back to business, Chris set about going through the canned veggies himself. He picked a few cans of corn, some green beans and more peas. He knew Buck had a fondness for the creamed corn, so he didn't argue when Buck grabbed some of those, too. 

"Can we get some chokes?" Vin asked, craning his neck to try to see over the top of the cart. He could see through the mesh of the basket area, but see things above eye level, he had to lean back and look up.

"Chokes?" Chris asked, confused.

"Yeah. They're best when they're fresh, though. The ones in the can don't taste as good."

Chris shrugged, at a loss. "I don't know what you mean, Vin."

Vin sighed. "That's okay."

"Hey, we'll figure it out. What do they look like?" Chris asked.

Vin's face scrunched a little. "They got thick layers, and you pull 'em back one by one, and dip 'em in butter then chew on 'em, to get the good part off of each layer."

"Artichokes?" Chris asked, looking back to Buck, who just shrugged.

"Yeah! That's them!" Vin said, face lighting up at being understood.

"Okay, well then we'll look for some when we get to the produce area," Chris promised.

"Chris, you got any idea how to cook artichokes?" Buck asked, moving his cart up next to theirs.

"We'll figure it out," Chris said with a shrug.

"Duh, you boil 'em, silly," Vin said with a grin.

"Well, duh," Buck answered back with a teasing shake of his head, getting Vin's grin to broaden. Buck's prolonged 'duh' morphed suddenly, and became something more like a high-pitched, "aaaaahhhhh."

"JD, watch them swinging legs," Vin admonished again.

"Sowwy."

 

The grocery shopping mission ended up being a success, minus the casualty of Buck's nads, which took a couple more hits before whole ordeal came to a close. The closest they came to a mutiny was in the soft-drink aisle, and it was Buck who'd considered the mutiny. Aside from beer, Buck's other beverage love affair was with Coca Cola. Chris didn't want the kids drinking much soda pop, and he didn't think it was fair for them to have that restriction while Buck was drinking it right and left under their noses. So he limited their soft drink purchases and informed all of them that they'd be drinking milk, juices and sugar free kool-aid for the most part. The kids were fine with that, and seemed happy enough that they'd be allowed soda at all. Buck had glared at him for another two aisles, before he'd gotten distracted in the cookie section.

Chris grinned to himself as he stashed his Pepperidge Farm Milanos in the highest cabinet, above the refrigerator. Buck would figure out these little tricks eventually, and would be sneaking his bottles of Coke into his rooms before long. Chris just hoped he'd keep them well hidden from the kids.

Vin's choice of Nutter Butters went alongside JD's Oreos and Buck's oatmeal cookies in the pantry. Looking inside, at the filled shelves as he got the rest of the groceries put away, it struck Chris again how much this trip had shown him the differences in Vin's and JD's young lives up to a certain point.

JD had only been interested in junk, while Vin had shown genuine enthusiasm for fresh fruits and vegetables. Of course, being a child, Vin had also been excited by the sight of bags upon bags of Doritos, but the difference was that Vin seemed to understand that there was more to life and nutrition than snack foods. JD didn't merely show a child's aversion to healthy foods; those foods had seemed utterly foreign to the little boy. It was yet another indication that at some point in Vin's life, he'd been exposed to a healthy environment, whereas JD obviously had not. Chris thought he'd never forget the dreamy expression in Vin's eyes when they came across a stand of mangos in the produce section. Poor Buck, the produce section was where JD had been most bored and where he'd scored those additional two direct hits to Buck's nuts.

Once finished with the groceries, Chris popped into the living room, to see both boys on the couch, having just drifted off to sleep, and Buck in the overstuffed chair nearby, just beginning to snore. Chris rolled his eyes and crept off to his bedroom, to go jot down some notes on the clues he'd garnered from the shopping, and to go over the file he'd started on Vin's past.

*********************

Chris dug his fingertips into his temples, trying to relieve the headache. He'd seen his share of paperwork in his day, but this was just insane. Worth it though, he reminded himself. He'd sacrifice more than a little pain from seemingly endless forms in order to make the kids legally his. While the process of adopting JD was easy, the red-tape involved was a nightmare. He had forms to petition the state of Colorado, asking that JD's welfare case be turned over to them from Massachussets, and then he had the forms to petition the state of Colorado for permanent guardianship, requisite for final approval for adoption. He'd finally gotten everything finished, dotted his i's and crossed his t's, and had mailed them to the assigned caseworker, the same one who was keeping track of Chris' required foster parent class attendance. It was a minor miracle-- and thanks to Orin and Evie Travis-- that Chris was permitted to have the boys in his custody before the class attendence was officially completed.

The hardest part now was Vin. He knew Vin was from Texas, but had no idea of the residence of his last guardian of record. That meant Chris had to contact Texas, New Mexico, Oklahoma, as well as keep in touch with Children's Services in Colorado to get the ball rolling on having Vin declared an abandoned child available for adoption. All he had to give those states was a picture, fingerprints and a rough estimate of his age. All the states of proximity to Vin's presumed birth state had to sign off that they didn't have a child on record as missing that could be Vin, and that Vin didn't have a responsible living relative in the state claiming guardianship. 

Vin's caseworker had told Chris that it could take some time. The states wouldn't just send a consent form overnight dissavowing responsibility for him, for fear of repercussions should Vin be found to be in their legal jurisdiction. But neither would they tenaciously hold on to any claims, either. They were swamped with children who actually were in the physical custody of their state, and those kids needed the immediate attention of all their personnel. That left Chris waiting for each state's bureaucracy to grind away until it was satisfied they had no obligations to this one boy.

One thing that helped their case was running Vin through all the state and national missing children databases. Those searches coming up empty would help the states to get through the process a little faster. The stickiest part would be getting the state of Texas to relinquish authority of Vin's welfare. Again, the caseworker didn't think it would be more than a boatload of paperwork, considering the state was only his presumed place of birth, and thus far no records had been found. But as his likely birthplace, that was the state that had to give up authority to preside over Vin's permanent placement. 

Sticky, but not impossible, the caseworker had said. Texas didn't want or need another homeless child that might not be their responsibility anyway. The state system in Texas would grind a little slower than the others, but unless they actually found something about Vin's past, they'd eventually assign authority to Colorado, a state actually willing to take responsibility for Vin.

Chris didn't kid himself, though. Colorado was willing enough to keep Vin on their books because he was already established there, and had an adult who'd taken him out of the system and off their hands. Vin was cheap, compared to other children in the system.

"Damn, I'm getting cynical," Chris grumbled to himself and rubbed his temples again.

"Gettin' a little loco, too, talking to yourself and all," Buck said.

Chris whipped his head up from the piles of papers to see Buck standing in the doorway to the little office connected to his bedroom. "Kids okay?" Chris asked.

"They're watching Pinnochio. You shoulda heard JD trying to pronounce that. It comes out 'Pornochio.'"

Chris chuckled. "I heard him saying that when I was fixing their lunch. Good thing Vin was there to correct him. I don't think I could've said it, I was trying so hard not to laugh."

"So whatcha doin' in here?" Buck asked, looking suspiciously casual.

"Did Vin send you in?"

Buck grinned. "Nah, but he was looking around, like he expected you to come back, and when you didn't after a while, I got to wonderin'. Figured I should have an answer if he asks."

Chris sighed hard. "I'm finishing up the last of the paperwork to make the boys legally mine. It's a pain in the ass, about fifty different forms for about ten different states. Buck?" Chris stopped when he saw Buck's face cloud over, looking through one of the forms on top of the stack.

"Ain't these things missing a name here and there?" Buck asked, then cleared his throat.

Chris took a deep breath before he could get into it. "Do you remember when I first told you what I planned to do?"

"Well, yeah. And you told me we'd be equal parents in this," Buck answered quickly.

Chris shook his head. "Think further back. I asked you to be my backup on this. Your first response was, 'It's a lot to ask.'"

"You're gonna hold that against me now?"

"No, Buck. I'm not punishing you. But you went from that response, to suddenly wanting to be an equal parent. We both know that that just isn't going to work, and I told you then that I can't change who I am," Chris said.

Buck crossed his arms in front of himself. "Then what exactly am I doing here?"

Chris rubbed a hand over his face, pausing just long enough to think about how to explain it. "You're giving them another adult they can depend on, and one who can laugh with them and be around for them to play 'good cop' when I have to play the heavy. And you're learning how to be there for them in all other ways if something happens to me. The papers that give you full custody are going to be filed with my attorney, and they'll go into effect if I die. It's not a small thing, Buck."

Buck swallowed so hard, Chris could see the bob of his throat. "No, it isn't," Buck agreed.

"Once you think about it, and it really sinks in, you'll see it's for the best," Chris added, his own throat feeling tight at the thought of something happening and having to leave the boys behind.

Buck turned his back for just a moment, looking to be composing himself a little more, then faced him again, with his expression masked. "You're probably right, but yeah, I need to think more about it," Buck said, nodding but not really looking at him.

"In the meantime, you're right in that I best be getting back out there," Chris said, putting away the rest of the forms. He could finish them off when the kids were in bed. Now was time that would best be spent with Vin and JD.

Buck slipped out of the office ahead of him, and from his posture, looked to be pouting. Chris wasn't worried, though. Buck would see that it was all working out the way it should. Nevermind that the legalities would likely make it impossible for them both to legally adopt Vin and JD, it just wasn't the best thing for their family. 

Chris knew that trying to force a parenting partnership of equals would end up causing more family war than any parental alliance. In the field with his team, in the office, and with his children, Chris was head honcho, and that was that. There wasn't a unit he'd ever been on that he didn't lead, and he knew himself and he knew Buck well enough to know this one wouldn't be any different. Chris had never turned to anyone else before calling a shot that he felt was his to call, and that wasn't going to change. It's the way things were, and trying to pretend different would only result in casualties-- possibly the kids getting caught in the crossfire. 

And Chris hadn't said it, because Buck wouldn't want to hear it, but there was a damn good chance Buck would want to settle down and have his own family one day. It wasn't in Chris' future to to get married again, but he could definitely see it in Buck's, and sharing full custody of two kids with someone else would complicate that a hell of a lot, and would likely cause a lot of confusion for everyone-- again, with most of that being heaped on the kids. 

Chris' big mistake was not getting into at least some of this with Buck sooner. Wasn't much he could do about that now, though. So he'd just have to do his best to see that Buck knew he wasn't being demoted somehow and that his role in the boys' lives was critical.

He also had some making up to do with Vin, he realized as he ducked into the living room. Vin was anxiously watching the doorway for him, and his relief at actually seeing him was obvious. Chris took a seat on the other end of the couch, Vin and JD snuggled together on the end opposite. Vin grinned at him and then went back to watching the video. It was a feeling that grabbed Chris by the throat every time, knowing that Vin was happy just to have him in the same room.

Chris glanced over at Buck, whose face reflected the full-on pout that Chris had seen coming. Chris sighed and leaned back against the cushions, plopping his feet on the coffee table. It was going to take a trip to Baskin Robbins after the movie to appease Buck. He amused himself throughout the rest of Pornochio by guessing what flavors JD and Vin would want.

*********************

Buck hated it sometimes when Chris was right. He especially hated it this time. The thing was, when Buck jumped into something, he didn't do it halfway, and he didn't want his part in taking care of the boys to be halfway, either. It just took a couple days of really paying attention, not just to JD and Vin, but to how the boys interacted with each other, with Chris, and with Buck himself, for Buck to realize that his part in it wasn't halfway. But he wasn't a dad, either.

He was the one who made bathtime fun for JD, but he wasn't the one to insist when it was bathtime. He helped JD with getting his socks on, but he wasn't the one to make sure they were clean first. He was the one who made farting noises with his armpit when Vin had to have medication injected into the port on his hand, but he wasn't often the one who remembered it was time for the medications in the first place. It wasn't that he couldn't do those things if necessary, it's just that they weren't his first thoughts. That wasn't his natural inclination. He wouldn't shortchange himself, either, though. Those boys were in desperate need of someone whose natural inclinations were to get out the plastic boats at bathtime, to stop and help JD get his socks up all the way, and to distract Vin with disgusting noises when having who-knew-what pumped into his little veins.

Buck understood now that equally important didn't mean being an equal parent, but it was still a little tough to reconcile it with himself. It'd take a little more time, and a little more ice-cream on Chris' part. He might not exactly be an equal parent, but he wasn't stupid. He was aware every single time Chris had tried to console him with something distractingly trivial, and he always went along, because as much as Buck needed to be consoled at times, Chris was always every bit as much in need of doing the consoling, even if he'd never admit it. Buck supposed that was also another instance of each of them following their natural inclinations.

"You're getting outside the lines," Chris said, suddenly over his shoulder.

Buck jumped a little, mostly 'cause he was startled out of his thoughts. He gave Chris a quelling glance then looked back down at the coloring book. "I am not outside the lines. Am I, JD?"

JD pulled Buck's coloring book closer to his side of the coffee table, and gave it a long, scrutinizing look. "Only a little bit, under Scooby's belly."

Buck pulled it back again, shaking his head. "I'm coloring in the background, there."

JD shrugged, already back to work on his own Scooby pages.

"Vin ought be awake soon enough," Chris said, straightening up. "He'll probably climb up in my chair and not say much until the fog lifts a little, so you might want to just let him be for a while."

Buck nodded, understanding without Chris saying more. With his medications and fighting back from his injuries, Vin tired easily, and sometimes took a while when he woke up before he felt oriented enough to interact at all, let alone want to play. He tended to be irritable during that time, wanting to be with the rest of them, but not quite up to actively engaging in anything. The hard part was keeping JD at bay while not making the boy feel as though he was doing something wrong; JD slept a lot too, but tended to wake up raring to go, considering his medications had a much different effect than Vin's. Neither Buck nor Chris wanted JD to lose the natural exuberance he usually displayed, despite all he'd been through.

"You heading out to the barn?" Buck asked, looking up from the spot he'd colored on Scooby's back.

"Yeah, got some more things to put away before it's kid-safe. When that port comes out of Vin's hand, he's going to be all over that barn, and the last thing we need is a trip to the ER," Chris said, grim smile on his face as he pulled on his work gloves. 

Buck gave a shudder, imagining it already. "All right, then. I doubt he'll feel up to it, but if he gets any ideas about joining you, I'll keep him here."

"Appreciate it. I'll be back probably in an hour, then I'll start putting some dinner together for us."

"What we having?" JD asked, head hanging so far back he was damn near looking at Chris upside down.

Chris chuckled, and ruffled the mop of his head. "Well, you've been pretty good about eating all this new stuff, so how about hotdogs tonight?"

"With 'tato chips?" he asked, pleading lilt in his voice.

"A few-- but you have to have a vegetable, too," Chris said, one more ruffle of JD's hair before he stood again.

"Okeydoke," JD said, and picked up his crayon again.

Buck laughed softly and watched as Chris headed out the back door. It wasn't that JD was opposed to vegetables on principle. It was just that most of them were foreign to him, and so they took a little getting used to.

He and JD colored away together, having a couple of serious conversations about the right colors to use on the Scooby gang's van and such things, and Buck was so involved that he hadn't noticed when Vin crept into the room. He just happened to see him out of the corner of his eye, tucked into Chris' chair, as predicted, quietly watching them. Buck gave him a happy wink, and was gratified to see Vin grin at him from under the afghan tucked under his little chin.

Buck gave Vin another quiet few minutes, then called out, not wanting to ignore the boy completely. "You wanna color with us, Vin?"

JD lifted a hand and waved at Vin, then bent over his page again, while Vin just quietly shook his head no.

"You sure? We got a Toy Story coloring book over here, and it's got your name on it."

"No it don't," JD said, shuffling through the coloring books to find the one Buck meant. 

Buck gave himself a mental kick for wording it that way. "It's just an expression, JD. I know it doesn't actually have Vin's name on it."

"That's not nice," JD said, crossing his hands over his tummy. "You shouldn't tell kids they got a toy if it ain't really their toy."

Buck groaned. "I'm sorry, JD, I didn't mean to tease Vin. It's an expression, and oh hell, I was just trying to tell him that there was a nice coloring book here, and Vin's welcome to it."

"S'alright," Vin said, voice still a bit groggy.

"Come on, Vin. We can put your name on the Toy Story coloring book, then it won't be teasing no more," JD said, reaching for the book again and waving it a little in Vin's direction.

Vin shook his head, and snuggled back down into the chair further, pulling the afghan even higher, over his face. It didn't look like Vin was upset, just that he wasn't ready to interact yet.

"All right, sport, just rest up there, and when you're ready, you can join us," Buck said, deciding to leave him be a bit longer.

Getting back to his Scooby page, Buck kept an eye on both Vin and JD from the corner of his eye. He was touched at how JD and Vin seemed to instinctively look after each other and empathize with each other's hurts. "That was a real nice thing you did, JD, offering to put Vin's name on the coloring book so he wouldn't get teased," he said after a moment.

JD smiled up at him. "I gets to call him my brother now. I don't gotta say he's my cousin no more."

"And brothers don't let each other get teased?"

"Nope," JD said right away, shaking his head so hard his hair tossed as he scribbled with his crayon. "Cousins get mad at teasing too, but brothers get really mad," JD said, drawing out the 'really' for maximum effect.

Buck grinned. "Well, this is turning out to be a real nice family."

JD popped his head up, expression confused. "This ain't a real family. Only me and Vin's a real family."

Buck felt as though he'd been slapped. "Of course this is a real family. Well, it's shaping up into one, anyway."

"Nuh-uh," JD insisted, so matter-of-fact it was frightening. "Me and my mama and Vin is a family, cause there was a mama and two kids, and Vin got 'dopted to us cause we wanted him. He was supposed to be my brother but we hadda tell people he was my cousin so people wouldn't get nosy and mean people wouldn't come get us."

Buck was floored, and he wasn't sure at all how to attack this particular five-year-old logic. Best he could do was go with his own feelings about family. "JD, you don't got to have a blood relative to be a real family. You and Vin are family without actually being related, right?" JD shrugged and nodded, still coloring away. "Well, it wasn't because you had another blood relation there, it was because of how you two feel about each other, and how good you two are at looking after each other. And well, Chris and me love you boys to pieces and we think of you as family. We don't gotta be related to be family to each other."

"Uh--" JD searched the crayons scattered on the table. "Where's the orange!"

Buck sighed hard. In one ear and out the other. He glanced up at Vin, but he didn't seem to be paying attention to the conversation. Buck didn't want to press the issue and get JD thinking too much about his mama being gone, but he needed to do something to start helping the boys feels as though they belonged there; and unless they started thinking of the ranch as truly their home, and of him and Chris as family, he didn't think they would develop the feelings of belonging they needed.

What he needed, was some kind of family event. Weren't any holidays coming up, and they'd missed Fourth of July. Birthdays? JD's had been in the spring, they couldn't get Vin's out of him, and Buck's wasn't till winter. Chris'? Hmm, that might work, Buck thought. It was on the thirty-first of the month, which was... the next Wednesday? They could have a party for him on the Saturday after, and invite the guys on the team. It'd be a chance for the boys to see a family in action and to participate in one.

"Hey, boys?" Buck said, putting on his most conspiratorial voice. "I got an idea for something really, really fun."

Vin popped his head out of the afghan, and JD looked up at him, curious. "What?"

"I think we should make a surprise birthday party for Chris. Whattaya think?"

JD's face brightened, and Vin's eyebrows climbed, indicating interest in his own, quiet way.

"Balloons, and presents and cake?" JD asked, his voice climbing high when he got to the cake part.

"Shoot, yeah, the whole works! We can have it here at the ranch, and have the guys from work, and we'll barbeque out on the grill."

"How many guys from work?" Vin asked, suspicion clouding his face.

"Not many, Vin, just the guys from the team. Josiah, Ezra, and Nathan. And Nathan's wife, Raine. It won't be a big party, mostly just family."

Vin's expression cleared, and he looked happy again. JD bounced next to him, looking as though he was on a sugar rush, eyes wide and smile wider. "When we gonna make the party?"

"Not this Saturday, but the next one. His real birthday is on Wednesday, but we have to wait for the weekend."

"No, no, no, we should have the birfday party this Saturday! It's mean to make him wait till after his birfday!" JD insisted, bouncing harder.

Buck stifled another groan, wishing he hadn't mentioned the actual date of Chris' birthday and made it more complicated for the kids."Settle down, little pard, we don't have enough time to plan everything for this Saturday. We won't be mean to Chris, I promise."

"So, we just gonna skip his real birthday?" Vin asked, and even though the suspicion was back in Vin's eyes, Buck was actually glad for it, knowing that this time it was for Chris' benefit.

"We'll give him a birthday card on Wednesday, and we'll tell him we'll have a cake and presents on Saturday. We just won't tell him it's a surprise party and that the other guys will be here for it."

"Okay, that's not too mean," JD agreed.

"All right then, so the three of us, we're gonna do this surprise party thing?" Buck asked, looking from Vin to JD.

"Yeah!" both boys said at once, both smiling.

"Well, come on over here, boys. Let's start making a list of all the things we gotta do."

Vin slid off the chair, but kept the afghan around his shoulders. He plopped down in front of the coffee table, and JD settled next to him. "Let me grab a note pad and we'll get started," Buck said, heading for the kitchen drawer.

He was actually kind of excited about this himself. It'd been a while since the guys all got together like this for something that wasn't related to a case. The hardest part would be when he broke the news to Chris. If Buck actually surprised him with this, he'd have a fit, but if he broke it gently, Chris would be okay with it. More than okay with it, even if he outwardly moaned and groaned about it, Chris was going to be thrilled that the boys wanted to do this for him.

*********************

"So, what can I get you boys?" Inez asked them.

"Cheeseburger and fries," JD said immediately. 

"Say please, JD." Vin told him.

"Please," JD said, smiling from ear to ear.

"And you, Buck?" Inez asked.

"Let's see what Vin wants first. Do you know what you want or do ya wanna hear what Inez has got cooked up today?"

"Do you have chile rellenos?" Vin asked softly without looking up.

"You want what?" Buck asked.

"Of course I can make chile rellenos for you. "

"Don't got to go to any trouble, ma'am," Vin said, a slight blush coloring his face.

"Ah, it's not trouble para un chicito lindo tan dulce."

Vin ducked his head even lower, his face coloring bright red. 

"What did you call him, Inez?"

"I said of course I will make chile rellenos for such a sweet, beautiful little boy. Now, Senor, Buck, what would you like?"

"How about some of those smothered burritos you make so good. Nice and spicy with some refried beans."

"Bueno. It will be a little while. Would you boys like a drink?" Seeing nods from all three boys, she asked, "Water or soda?"

"Horchata?" Vin asked, hopefully.

"Si, homemade. I'll bring you some."

"Gracias, ma'am."

Buck shared a quick glance with Inez, who seemed equally surprised by Vin's lunch choices. Once she was through the doors to the cafe's kitchen, he turned back to the kids. "Now that just ain't right. You have that woman eating out of your hand, squirt. I been talking to her for months now and she doesn't pay me half as much attention. Why are you still blushing, Vin?"

"She said I'm pretty. Lindo means pretty." Vin whispered. "Ain't pretty."

Buck quirked an eyebrow, intrigued, but forced himself not to press Vin too hard for information. "It's better than what she's been known to call me."

"What's she call you, Buck?" JD asked.

"Now that's not for little ears."

"What's the size of my ears got to do with it?" JD asked, his head tilted to the side.

Buck caught Vin rolling his eyes and smiled wide at him. Taking the boys on an outing while Chris was at work was turning out to be a good thing. They had four more days to put together Chris' surprise birthday party - including inviting one more of the guests and arranging for some of the food. Which had brought them to Inez's Saloon Cafe. Thus far, their planning hadn't surpassed the list-making stage.

"Here's your Coke, JD, Vin, your Horchata and Buck, your Coke."

"Thank you, Miz Inez," Vin said.

"You have such nice manners, Vin."

Vin hid behind the large cup, refusing to look up.

"Don't mind him, Inez, darling. He's a little shy. We're planning Chris' birthday party for Saturday and we're here to invite you and to see if you can whip up some of your famous dip and maybe some of them beans you make."

"I'd love to come to your party," Inez said as she sat down next to JD. "Madre di Dios, you are a cute nino!" she said as she reached out to pinch his chubby cheek.

"Buck!" JD nearly yelled, covering his cheeks with his hands "why do all your lady friends want to pinch my cheeks?"

"Because you're so gosh darn cute, JD. Now when they do that, you're supposed to climb into their laps and give 'em a big hug and maybe bat your eyelashes at 'em."

"Senor Wilmington! You shouldn't be teaching that boy your ways. What would Chris say?"

Buck glanced at Vin and caught him scowling a little, apparently not any more approving of his approach to women than Inez. Less so, Buck realized as Vin's scowl deepened. He gave the boy a sheepish shrug, and was gratified to see Vin give him a smile-- though a tight one-- and relax a little.

"Buck, will you come help me with the food?"

"Sure thing, Inez. Now boys, you stay right here and I'll be right back with lunch." Buck stood to follow Inez, stopping at the bar where the bartender was setting up for the evening. A soft, "Can you watch them for a minute?" was answered with a nod and Buck ducked through the swinging doors into the kitchen.

"Ain't they just the cutest thing, Inez?"

"Senor Buck, when you told me you and Senor Chris were going to raise these children - I thought you were playing a joke on me. Los pobrecitos. Are they all right?"

"Not yet, Inez, but they will be. So, you gonna cook for Chris' party or am I gonna destroy his kitchen trying to make him and the boys something special?"

"The day you cook will be the day pigs fly, Senor!"

Buck grinned, knowing already she was hooked. "So you going to come to our little shindig? We're keeping it small so the kids don't get overwhelmed, but they've latched onto the idea of throwing Chris a surprise party."

"Senor Chris does know about it, doesn't he?"

"Of course he does, Inez, they just don't know that. We're making it a welcome home party for them too."

Inez smiled at him as she pulled some plates from the warmer and loaded them up with food. "Of course I'll come. Are you using those adorable hijos to con other women into cooking for you too?"

"Now, Inez, you're breaking my heart! I wouldn't con you. I genuinely want your company. Now Ezra, he might try to con you, but not me. Nathan will bring Raine, so you won't be the only lady at the party, but like I said, we're keeping it small. We're introducing them only to special people."

Inez quirked an eyebrow at him. "What about all those women friends wanting to pinch JD's cheeks?"

"Now Inez, I took the boy to work with me while Chris took Vin to a doctor's appointment. Those aren't lady friends, those are fellow agents!"

"You're so full of it, Senor Buck. And this isn't a date! Now take your lunch back to your table and I'll be in with Vin's as soon as it's out of the oven."

"Thanks for making Vin what he asked for, darling, I think you made his day."

"Shoo, Senor!"

"I'm going, I'm going."

Buck whistled as he made his way out of the kitchen with the plates, bumping the door open with his hip and spinning around to face the right way. He caught sight of Vin and JD sipping their drinks, sitting quietly waiting for him. Now if only the rest of the day went as smooth.

"Here ya go, JD. Cheesburger and fries."

JD liberally poured ketchup into his plate and looked around the table, kneeling on his chair to see better.

"Watch it, JD." Buck said. "Don't want to..."

JD's Coke went down with a thump as his elbow smacked into it.

"... spill your coke." Buck finished.

JD smiled impishly and said, "Oops."

"Oops is right, JD. Come on, out of that chair before you're covered in it."

"Yer always spillin things, JD." Vin said with a shake of his head. "You need a sippy cup."

"Do not!" JD said, loudly.

"Do too!" Vin said back. 

A further cycle of "do not," "do too," was avoided when Inez appeared with Vin's plate.

She put it down in front of him, his eyes going wide with the amount of food on the plate. She whipped out a towel and began moping up the mess.

"Thanks, Inez," Buck said. "Sorry bout that."

"Ah, with children, spills happen, Senor."

"JD shouldn't be drinking Coke anyways." Vin told Buck. "Gives him ants in his pants."

"I'll bring back some milk for him," Inez said.

"No, no milk. It don't go with the vinegar." JD whined.

"What?" Buck asked.

"I needs vinegar for my fries!" JD said.

"So that's what you were looking for, huh?" Buck asked him.

"Yeah. Gots to have vinegar with fries and not the white kind. The brown kind."

Buck looked up at Inez and shrugged, but from the expression that dawned on her face, she understood. "I'll see if I have any, Okay hijo?"

"Okay," JD said, sitting back down in his now dry chair. "Buck, I got Coke all over my pants."

"Looks like we're heading back home before we even get anywhere."

"Told ya we should have brought extra clothes for JD," Vin said. The little know-it-all.

"Yup, you sure did." Buck said, wishing it was his birthday and then Chris could be the one on this little outing.

"Okay, everyone eat your lunch," Buck told them, sitting with a sigh and digging into his own food.

*****************

"I didn't realize this parenting thing was going to be so hard, Chris." Buck hauled himself up onto the washing machine, watching as Chris pulled laundry out of the drier and into a basket. "Those kids were damned exhausting!"

"You should have had my day. Damn judge is calling in favors already. Wants me to have an interview with his daughter-in-law. She's the editor of an independent paper called the Clarion."

Buck winced, knowing how well that one had to go over, considering how Chris felt about the press. "You gonna do it?"

Chris sighed, cranking up the drama; at least as much as Chris was capable. "I owe Judge Travis big time, Buck. Don't see as I have much choice."

"Just turn on the infamous Larabee charm," Buck said, laughing at Chris.

Chris threw a bunched-up sock at him, hitting him squarely in the face.

Buck let out a big sigh and asked, "Day never seems to end, does it?"

"What? The laundry?"

"And everything else. Hell, we only made it to lunch at Inez's then had to come home to change JD's clothes. Vin informed me that he'd already told me we should have brought extra for JD."

"He had a point, huh?" Chris said, sending a sly grin his way before ducking into the drier again.

"Hell, Chris, that boy's been taking bossy lessons from you! But I'll take it. It's good to see him settling in."

"Yeah, it is," Chris said, his grin softening into a real smile. Wasn't any such thing as Chris hiding his soft spot for those boys.

"Any word from the doc on the tests?" Buck asked. The extra tests Vin'd gone back to the hospital for were one reason they'd had little progress on Chris' party.

"Not until tomorrow. So, how's my party coming?"

Buck gave him his best glare. "It's supposed to be a surprise, Chris. Don't go blowing it."

"I can act surprised."

Buck snorted. "Yeah, right. You got two expressions. Bored and pissed."

"Thanks, Buck."

"Lately though, I been seeing an expression I thought died a few years back," Buck said carefully, taking a chance. Chris stopped folding laundry and put on his 'pissed' face.

"Admit it, Chris, you've been happy these past two weeks - even if you have been grumpy from lack of sleep."

Chris went back to folding laundry, not looking at Buck. "Yeah, I guess I have," he said, softly.

"Ain't nothing wrong with that, Chris."

"Leave it alone, Buck." Chris folded another towel, still pointedly not looking at him.

"Hell, Chris, you never talk about what's in your head. Leaves me to guess."

"You're sounding like the little woman again, Buck."

Buck decided he could get indignant at that, or he could run with it. He decided to run with it. "I can't help it if I'm a sensitive, modern man. The ladies love it."

Chris looked up long enough to roll his eyes. "Yeah, I can see you making lots of progress with Inez."

"Seeing me with them boys melted her icy exterior today, Chris. It's just a matter of time before she falls for my animal magnetism."

"That'll be the day." Chris said as he threw the rest of the clean clean towels at Buck. "Make yourself useful. Fold."

"Yes, sir." Buck said with a grin and Chris headed back to the kitchen.

"And when you order the cake, which I'm sure you haven't done yet, remember: white cake, milk-chocolate frosting."

"Sir, yes, sir!" Buck answered right away, saluting with a fresh washcloth still in his hand.

***********************

 

Chris was sure he wasn't going to be able to eat when he got home. He'd had to clench his jaw so many damn times in the last half hour, it was already beginning to ache. He'd known this interview wouldn't be pleasant, but he hadn't expected such thinly veiled hostility.

"I'm not at liberty to go into details of the incident," Chris replied to Mary's latest question. She wanted him to go on record about the McKay bust that led to him having Vin and JD in his life. He wasn't about to have the boys' lives printed in some damn paper, though.

"I know that Victoria Flaherty, JD's mother, was killed during the raid, as was Joe McKay, your actual suspect. I also know that both of the children in the home were hospitalized for some time before they were put into your care, so I assume that they were also injured at the time?" Mary said, face stony as she pressed on.

"What exactly are you after, lady?" Chris asked, leaning over the table that separated them.

"I'm after the truth," Mary answered, expression cracking just a little. "You work for one of the most dangerous and yet ambiguous federal agencies to have been formed since the attack of 9/11, and suddenly you're petitioning for custody of two orphaned children you met during a fatal raid. I think our readers have a right to know that this kind of thing is happening in their own neighborhoods."

Chris' jaw clenched again, hard enough that he knew with a certainty now that yes, dinner was going to be out of the question. But Mary wanted a response, and dammit, she was going to get one.

"Yeah, people do have a right to know that men like me are around. Men like me who won't put up with gun runners and drug pushers getting away with the shit they pull in decent people's neighborhoods. Go on," Chris added, waving to her notepad and pen, "tell your readers that you don't want men like me and my team around, when they have the likes of Joe McKay next door."

Mary flushed a deep, deep red. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

Chris sat back and picked up his coffee cup for a long sip. They were in the middle of a busy downtown diner, the place they'd mutually agreed upon for this interview, and while Chris was mindful not to let his temper get too out of hand, he didn't much care if they garnered any attention. From Mary's furtive glances at the other patrons, she did care, though. It made Chris wonder...

"I don't think you really know what you meant. I think you're pissed, but you're not sure at who, and so you're taking at me and the boys."

Mary's eyes widened. "I wouldn't hurt those boys for anything! My concern is whether you're an appropriate guardian."

Chris nodded, but couldn't help the grin that formed on his mouth, and didn't care that it probably looked malicious. "Is that because the criminals I take down have a higher injury and death toll than my team?"

Mary glared at him. "As a matter of fact, the high number injuries and the death toll your team has accumulated make me wonder if you're the best choice of guardians for two boys who've been through so much already."

Chris' grin widened. "You think I'd use my field tactics on the kids?"

Flushing again, Mary shifted in her seat. "Of course not. But you have made yourself a target. What makes you think the boys are safe with you, should any of the criminals you chase want retribution?"

And there they got to the heart of the matter. Chris wasn't actually all that angry at Mary anymore. Her husband was murdered by the same type of criminal he and the team chased every day. And Stephen hadn't even been a cop; just a reporter who printed a story about one such criminal-- before the man could be found and put behind bars. The man and his crew were still at large to this day, and though Chris wasn't assigned to the case, he was familiar with it.

"It's not my fault, Mary, that you had to send your boy to live with Orin and Evie. I'm not going to deny Vin and JD a safe, comfortable home with me just because your home isn't what you want."

Mary looked as though she'd been slapped. Her eyes watered, and she looked away for a long moment before looking back again. "That's not what this is about."

Chris shook his head and leaned forward again. "I think it is. You're hurt and angry that even with the type of job I do every day, I'm still safe enough, and my home life is safe enough, that I can have kids at home."

Mary started to answer, but she stopped herself, giving her own head a shake as she took a sip from her water, her hand shaking visibly.

"I'm sorry about Stephen, Mary. And I'm sorry nobody's caught the bastards yet, and that Billy has to live with Orin until it's safe. But I'm not giving up my kids just because you can't be with yours the way you want."

Mary let out a long, ragged breath. "It's hard to imagine that with what you do for a living, you'd have the right... demeanor, or attitude, to raise a child. Let alone, two."

Chris sighed. She wasn't going to admit what her real problem was, and Chris didn't want to waste any more time trying to make her. She'd have to admit it to herself first, and she didn't seem ready to do that. "That's another thing that bothers you, isn't it? The fact that teams like mine even exist."

As Chris expected, steering the conversation back to what was supposed to be the topic of the interview seemed to settle her a little, and get her back on focus. "As a matter of fact, I am a little bothered by the latitude teams like yours are given when it comes to civil rights and the welfare of the public."

Chris shrugged. "It's not the same world it used to be. I happen to think that the public these days is a lot better off with a team like mine out there to scrape the worst of the worst off the streets."

Mary shifted again in the seat across from him, preparing for her next question. Chris just wanted it to be over with, so he could go home and pretend not to know that the boys were working on his party, and so he could curl up on the couch with them and watch some assinine cartoon. It was that kind of silly thing that made him do his job every day, as distasteful as people like Mary thought his job was. His job was what allowed other people to go about their lives with their kids, and if Mary wasn't so bitter that she wasn't one of the lucky ones to have that luxury, they wouldn't be having this interview in the first place.

Chris' jaw clenched again, and he resigned himself to having something decidedly soft for dinner. But at least he'd be there for it, and so would the boys.

***********************

 

"Yes, Mrs. Travis. I can't thank you enough. This is great," Chris said, sure his relief was plain to hear in his voice. He'd been just a little worried that his antagonism with Mary would interfere with the plans for getting the boys into the right school. He should've known better, knowing Evie Travis the way he did.

"You're very welcome. I'll meet you at the school on Monday."

"Great, see you then," Chris said, hanging up after Evie said her goodbyes and hung up.

It was a huge relief to have the boys' school situation under control. Evie Travis had connections that rivaled her husband's, it seemed. Having been a family court judge for a couple decades, Mrs. Travis certainly had the connections Chris desperately needed at the moment. With just a couple of phone calls, she'd managed to get Vin and JD accepted at the Harper Hill Academy. 

It was what Mrs. Travis called an alternative school, meaning that the curriculum was customized for each child. It was opened by a woman who came from Montessori and wanted something local to Denver that she could specialize even further without the Montessori name. Evie had reviewed the documentation from Vin and JD's psychological evaluations and was certain Harper Hill would be perfect for them, and had evidently convinced Harper Hill that Vin and JD would be good for them, too.

Anne Harper herself was a developmental psychologist, and she employed staff who all had backgrounds in various specific fields within developmental psychology, too. That meant the teachers at the school would all be well-versed in the types of emotional issues that Vin and JD would be bringing with them.

What was most convincing for Chris, though, was the way Evie had described the class structures. The children were all allowed to advance at their own pace in the subjects they found less challenging, and were given special attention in the subjects that caused the most struggle. This would be most critical with Vin, who was likely to have a less predictable path to learning, because his injuries had involved dramatic blood loss. Evie said that Anne Harper would be at the meeting at the school on Monday, and she was sure Dr. Harper would be able to go into detail with Chris about a plan to work through the learning difficulties that his physical condition was causing.

It'd be a good place for JD, too, Evie said. Since JD hadn't been to kindergarten or pre-school of any kind, they could offer him a classroom structure that would acclimate him to other children and gradually get him caught up socially as well as educationally.

All in all, Chris wondered if this place was just too good to be true, or if he was just incredibly lucky to be on Evie Travis' good side. He was leaning towards the latter, heavily. The Harper school was going to cost a pretty penny, so that made it seem a little more real. But then again, Chris was getting something of a discount that the school offered to children of those employed by the government of any level. Chris and Buck would be doing some volunteer work at the school in return; speaking on career days and chaperoning field trips now and then. Chris had offered that, though, and Evie had told him the offer was gratefully accepted.

Chris ducked his head into the living room, and seeing the kids-- all three of them-- engrossed in Peter Pan, slipped back into his office and got out his file on Vin. He paged through it until he got to the section on medical notes, and inserted the latest test results, reading over the sheets he'd gotten earlier in the day at Dr. Reed's office.

The back pain turned out to be a case of diskitis, the MRI of Vin's spine showing a slight inflammation of the disk space. Vin's blood work confirmed that the source of this was infection, and Dr. Reed ordered up an additional antibiotic as a result. The MRI also confirmed their suspicions of a couple previous fractures along the way; one in Vin's left foot, another in his right leg; both within a year old, Dr. Reed suspected. From all appearances, in Dr. Reed's opinion, Vin was likely a healthy, physically normal boy until approximately a year ago. His diet hadn't been good lately, but his teeth and bone density indicated that was a recent development.

Chris flipped to his summary page, and added a note at the bottom: Physical evidence indicates normal, healthy childhood until approximately twelve months prior to removal from Flaherty home.

File closed, Chris slid it into his desk drawer; the one he kept locked. He was beginning to feel an itch, just under his skin, to get this mystery of Vin's past solved. It wasn't nearly as much curiosity as it was the need to prove that nobody else had a claim on him. If it turned out someone did, they were going to have to fight hard to get Vin away from him. Nobody with a legitimate claim would have Vin so terrified that he was afraid to tell anyone his last name or anything about his family. A child might keep that up for a couple hours, if he was simply angry at a parent for denying a toy, or such nonsense. But no child would hold back that information for this long, so tenaciously, if he wasn't genuinely afraid for his life.

One way or another, Chris had to find the truth, no matter how ugly it was or how hard a fight it would lead him to. Vin would never really be out from under that mysterious threat until Chris could find it and eliminate it. Chris was good at this kind of thing, though. He had to be. He just had to be alert for clues wherever they might come along.

*************************************

Saturday came bright and early. Real early. Chris cracked an eye open, the giggles from the living room registering in his slowly waking brain. He really wanted to let Buck be the one to get up and see what the boys were up to, seeing as it was Chris' birthday-- or at least the day they'd decided to celebrate it, but he knew that wasn't really fair. Buck was working on their little party today more for the boys than for him, which was how it should be. 

He stretched out, waking up his limbs, and resigned himself to dragging himself out of bed. A glance at the window and then at the clock confirmed the ghastly hour. It wasn't even seven yet. Chris shook his head and then got moving, looking forward to coffee.

After a quick trip to the bathroom for his morning routine, he slipped on a pair of sweats and padded out to the living room. "Morning, guys."

Two little heads whipped up from the coffee table, and a split second later, two little bodies covered the table.

"Go away!"

"You cain't look!"

"Sorry!" Chris said, covered his peripheral vision with one hand. "I'm heading to the kitchen, okay? I'm gonna make myself some coffee."

"Don't come back till we tell ya!" JD ordered.

Chris tried to stifle a laugh, but didn't quite manage it. "Okay, okay."

He'd seen construction paper and crayons, but he really hadn't spotted much else. If Chris had to guess, he'd say the boys were working on home-made birthday cards. Buck had some damn fine ideas now and then, Chris decided, grinning his way to the coffee maker. A quick inspection of the kitchen while waiting for the coffee to brew showed Chris that the boys had been into the pop-tarts and orange juice. There was a little splash of juice on the counter, and some crumbs lingering around the toaster, which was the limit of what the boys were allowed to get into on their own in the kitchen.

In the pantry, Chris found the pop-tart box and pulled out the last package. There was another box in there, so he wouldn't cause a mutiny by taking the two in that last wrapper. Blueberry ended up going great with his coffee, and he finished a cup and the last of his pop-tarts while listening to the boys' whispers in the next room.

Some of their whispers were as loud as Buck though, so Chris had a pretty good idea what they were up to the whole time. Apparently some of the paper was for home-made wrapping paper, too. He didn't hear them say what exactly they were wrapping, but it sounded as though they were trying to tape pieces of construction paper together to make a wrapping paper sheet big enough for something kind of big. 

Chris grinned big as he heard Vin suggest just taping each piece of paper directly to the box. This was followed by a dramatic declaration that something or other was all gone. A second later, thumping bare feet came to a stop in front of him. "What's up, JD?"

"We're outta tape!"

"Oh, no! We'll have to see if we have any more," Chris said, ruffling JD's hair as he scooted back from the table. "So, what kind of tape do you need, duct tape?" Chris teased.

JD's eyes widened with shock and his face twisted with distress. "Don't tape the ducks! You'll hurt 'em and the tape'll stick to their feathers, and, and--"

"JD, I'm kidding! It's not really duck tape, kiddo. Duct tape is this stuff," Chris said, pulling out a roll from one of the utility drawers.

JD's face cleared, but he still glared at him a little. "You tease mean sometimes, Chris."

Chris laughed and scooped JD up in his arms for a hug, which JD accepted with a giggle, indicating he was done being mad. "I'll try not to be mean, okay, buddy?"

"Good," JD said, giving him another squeeze before Chris put him back down. 

"Okay, so will this do?" Chris asked, pulling out a roll of scotch tape from the drawer.

"Yep!" JD said, and snagged the tape then ran off. A second later, he popped back in, shouted, "thanks, Chris!" then spun on his feet and took off again.

 

Once finished with their wrapping and card projects, the boys brought the finished products to the kitchen table for Chris to ooh and ahh over. And he did, with genuine warmth in his belly at seeing the patchwork wrapping with gobs of tape that had plenty of carpet fuzz stuck in there, too. He assumed that some of the drawings were supposed to be balloons, and that others were supposed to be horses or dogs. Something with four legs, anyway. It was one of the most touching sights Chris'd ever laid eyes on.

They spent the next few hours watching cartoons and putting together puzzles. Chris'd learned from Vin's new therapist that puzzles were also a subtle exercise for the injuries that had effected Vin's cognitive abilities. Vin was able to visualize the big picture but needed to exercise the areas of his brain that allowed him to connect smaller pieces into place, to put that bigger picture together. The therapist had said it would provide him with the stimulation he needed to recognize the letters and numbers that he'd once found easy to identify. Chris figured spiderman puzzles would do the trick well enough, and the boys attacked them with the gusto of any game, not realizing there was a hidden agenda.

Buck hadn't made an appearance until somewhere between Road Runner and the Power Rangers on the television, and the boys were on their third puzzle. Chris hadn't said much, knowing Buck had spent some time until late the night before 'helping Inez' with some of the food for the day's cookout. Chris just hoped they actually got some food prepared.

 

A little before noon, Vin insisted that Chris take a shower and put on decent clothes for his birthday lunch. Chris tried hard not to laugh at Vin's diversion, intended to get him out of the way while the guests arrived and to make him somewhat presentable. Chris made a show of putting up an argument, saying it was his birthday, and if he wanted to spend it in sweats, smelly and without a shirt, why shouldn't he?

JD apparently forgot the plan for a moment, because for a while he took Chris' side in that, but Vin gave them both a stern lecture about not being sloppy. Chris relented after a suitable amount of time, and slipped into his room to get cleaned up, barely holding in his laughter. He took his time, knowing Buck and the kids were rushing to get his balloons hung up outside and getting food ready for the grill. He ignored the sounds of car doors closing, and took his time getting his jeans and t-shirt on. He even stopped to finger-comb his hair into some kind of order. It was about as presentable as Chris ever planned on getting on any given weekend cooking out with the guys and the kids.

When he opened his bedroom door, he looked down the hall and saw JD sitting at the end of it, coloring book in his lap. "Hey, sport, whatcha doing?" Chris said, closing his door behind him.

JD whipped his head up, as though caught off-guard, then looked toward the kitchen and waved his hands wildly.

"JD?" Chris asked, singsonging the name. "What's going on?"

JD just shrugged, but he was hiding a grin, very unsuccessfully. He climbed to his feet, looked to the kitchen again, then back at Chris. Vin came around the corner then, nearly running JD over in the process, but he got a grip on JD before they both went down, and almost in the same motion, began whispering in JD's ear. JD nodded, and took off at a run, back toward the kitchen, leaving Vin looking happily guilty about something.

"What are you boys up to?" Chris asked as he strolled down the hall, knowing full well they were about to spring the surprise on him.

"Nuthin," Vin said, and from the nervous dart of his eyes, Chris could tell Vin was finding it difficult to lie. It was gratifying, knowing that while Vin would refuse to tell him personal things, he apparently found it naturally difficult to outright lie.

Chris arrived at the end of the hall, and rubbed his hand affectionately over Vin's head. "If you insist. Now, what's for lunch, big guy?"

"Come on, Chris, we got lots of stuff," Vin said, and took Chris by the hand, pulling him into the kitchen, toward the back door. "We're having lunch outside," Vin added, still tugging on Chris' hand.

The blinds on the back door had been closed, as had those on the kitchen windows, so Chris couldn't see out into the back yard. Nice touch, he decided, getting ready to unleash his 'surprised face.'

Vin opened the door, and gestured Chris through it. When he stepped outside, he was confused. There was Buck, at the grill, but nobody else was around, and there were no balloons. He took a few more steps, then suddenly, "SURPRISE," boomed from behind him, and he nearly jumped clean out of his skin.

He whirled around, and everyone came forward, from where they'd been pressed against the back of the house. Balloons had been taped all along the house, nearly covering the entire surface, and over the door, there was a banner, made from pink construction paper and bright, blue crayon that read 'Happy Birthday'. 

Pink? Chris glanced over at Buck, who was just beaming, looking as innocent as the day he was born. Chris was swarmed by his teammates, and was genuinely surprised to spot Orin and Evie Travis there, too, their grandson Billy next to them. He looked down at JD and Vin, each boy practically clinging to one of his legs, and he squatted down.

"This is great, you two. Did you do this?" Chris said, hugging them both to him. JD practically climbed on him, and Vin tolerated the hug with a grin, leaning into him even if he didn't exactly throw his arms around him. It was heaven.

He reluctantly let go of the boys when he felt them ready to be turned loose, and he accepted the happy birthday wishes from the friends clapping his back and reaching for his hand for a shake. Despite knowing about the party, they'd still managed to make it a real surprise.

He got a hug from Inez, who led him over to the table full of food. "Hey, you made your spicy bean dip!"

"Si, and homemade salsa; I made the tortilla chips myself, and chicken flautas, too," she said, pointing out all the delicacies Chris habitually ordered whenever he went to the cafe. "Surprisingly, Senor Buck was a big help," she added, giving him a sly smile.

Chris' grin widened at the sight of all she'd made. Poor Buck hadn't gotten past first base, Chris was now certain. He'd have to remember to put in a good word for his beleaguered friend when the time was right. He'd gone to too much trouble for Chris not to return the favor. "Thanks, Inez, it looks fantastic."

"You are very welcome. Happy Birthday," she said again, giving his arm a squeeze and then heading over towards Raine, who was just walking up with Nathan-- who was holding their new puppy in his arms.

Chris took a seat at the picnic table, plate of food in one hand and a cold can of Coke from the cooler in the other. Vin sat across from him, a dreamy expression on his face as he nibbled on a flauta. Buck'd already spilled the beans about Vin's understanding of Spanish and his affinity for Mexican food, so it wasn't surprising that he'd be in hog heaven with Inez's treats. He didn't think Vin had a Latino look about him, so Chris was more convinced than ever that he picked up the language and a taste for the food from living in Texas. He wondered if he should focus his searches on the border areas.

Vin looked up at him as he chewed, and grinned at him over a mouthful of food. Chris grinned back and winked. "Good stuff, huh, Vin."

"Oh yeah. Best watch out for JD, though," Vin said, leaning sideways and looking around Chris.

Curious, Chris turned around, and watched as Buck loaded up some more food on JD's plate for him, looked like a lot of tortilla chips, piled with shredded cheese. "Something I should know about?" Chris asked.

Vin shrugged and blushed a little. "I seen what too much cheese does to him, is all."

Chris fought back a laugh, but from Vin's grin, he knew his amusement showed. "Thanks for the tip, pal."

"You're welcome," Vin said, still grinning as he dipped his flauta in a pile of salsa on his plate.

It was also plain to see that Vin had a hard time keeping his eyes off of Nathan's puppy. "You can go on over, if you want. Nathan'll be happy to introduce you to his puppy," Chris said. Vin blushed a little and shook his head no. "If you change your mind, I'll be right here to watch."

"Promise?" Vin asked, looking from his plate to the puppy again.

"Absolutely," Chris said, giving Vin his most reassuring smile. "I won't take my eyes off you till you're ready to tell me to lighten up."

Vin grinned at him, and slowly edged off the picnic bench. Chris could see from his stiff back and the slow shuffle of his feet that this was a huge deal for Vin, and he looked backwards every few steps to make sure Chris was keeping his word. Eventually, Vin stood in front of Nathan and Raine, and when he got a nod from Nathan, reached down to rub under the puppy's chin. Both Nathan and Raine gave Vin their friendliest, most genuine smiles, and it was obvious that Vin responded to them, though he was still hesitant.

After a few moments, Vin turned and came back to the table, but he had furrow in his brow that told Chris the boy was upset. "What's wrong?" Chris asked once Vin took his seat again.

Vin shrugged, then looked to both sides before leaning forward. Chris leaned forward too, ready to listen. "Nathan's real nice, isn't he," Vin said softly.

"Yeah, he is," Chris agreed.

"I don't want to hurt his feelings, but he got took," Vin said, even more softly.

"How's that?" Chris asked, confused.

"That pup. He's awful cute, but he ain't a Malamute. Everybody knows Malamutes don't got blue eyes," Vin added with a little roll of his own eyes.

Chris felt his own eyebrows climb at that proclamation. "Well, maybe not everybody. I didn't know."

Vin blushed again, but was still leaning close enough to make the conversation private. "The pup ain't a Malamute, but I reckon it's maybe a Siberian Husky. Ain't right, telling somebody who don't know no better that a pup's a Malamute."

Chris nodded, taking in Vin's puppy wisdom with the appropriate seriousness. "Well, I agree. It's not good to mislead people like that. But Nathan and Raine got the puppy at the SPCA, so they didn't pay a lot of money for him, and I think they're just happy that he's a healthy and happy pup."

Vin relaxed, and Chris found himself relieved. Just watching the tension in the boy's shoulders made his own ache. "Well, that's all right, then. I'm glad he has somebody to 'dopt him who don't care what he is."

Chris smiled at Vin, even though his stomach was twisted into knots. "I am too, pal. I betcha Nathan and Raine will turn him loose soon, and you boys'll be playing with him out in the yard."

"We'll watch him," Vin promised, picking up another flauta from his plate.

"I trust you," Chris said, giving him a wink before digging back into his own food. He also kept a casual eye out for the opportunity to slip away and talk to Nathan about the puppy.

Chris was glad that the other guests didn't overwhelm the boys. Once they'd observed Vin quietly speaking with Nathan and Raine, the others offered hellos and introductions, one at a time, and very casually, but none of the guys hovered, and it was obvious Orin went to great lengths to be as non-threatening as possible, bringing Billy with him when he stopped to say hello. 

Both Vin and JD seemed much more comfortable with Raine and Inez than any of the men, though, and Chris had his suspicions about that. JD likely was used to a more feminine approach, Chris having gleaned that while Vicki Flaherty hadn't been a skilled mother, she was a fiercely loving one. And Vin, Chris suspected, had suffered his abuses at the hands of men rather than women. Joe McKay had had a crack at Vin, and Chris was convinced that before McKay, another man was at the root of Vin's broken limbs and the neglect in his health. Vin wasn't soaking in the female attention the way JD was, but he seemed much more at ease with it than attention from his teammates or Orin. Vin's entire demeanor radiated polite distrust.

Eventually, Billy Travis inched away from Orin and Evie's side and sat next to Vin and JD at the picnic table. Chris watched from his position at the grill, as the three boys gradually got more animated. A minute later, all three scampered further into the yard, to the knot of trees on the yard side of the pasture fence; and sure enough, a few minutes later, the puppy was right up there cavorting with the boys. Chris fought down the urge to shout out a caution to Vin to watch his hand. He'd had the port taken out just the day before, but he had to be careful for a few days while the incision site healed. Chris didn't want to be a spoilsport, though. Vin finally had another boy to play with besides JD, and he looked so happy with the puppy, too. Chris'd just have to be sure that Vin washed his hand carefully in a bit.

Chris was just about to scan the crowd for Nathan again when he appeared at Chris' side. "Been waiting for a chance to talk to you," Chris said, putting a row of burger patties on the grill.

"Figured you'd be worried about the puppy. Wanted to let you know he's good with kids," Nathan said, nodding up toward where the boys played with the pup.

"I know you wouldn't bring him if it'd be a problem," Chris answered, waving off Nathan's concern. "I did want to ask you about something, though."

"Shoot," Nathan said.

"Do you know anything about Malamutes or those Huskies? I mean, specific things about the breeds?" Chris asked, looking from the kids to Nathan again.

Nathan grinned a little sheepishly. "Hell, no. All I know is that when we looked at the puppies they had at the shelter, that one jumped out at us, literally," Nathan said with a small laugh. "He bounded right over and was all over us, happy as could be. The paperwork said he was a mix, maybe Malamute or Husky," he added with a shrug.

Chris nodded. "Vin was worried that you'd paid good money for him and gotten swindled. Said Malamutes don't have blue eyes, and that the pup might have Siberian Husky in him."

Nathan's eyes widened a little. "Boy seems to know what he's talking about. We told him he was a Malamute, because it was easiest to explain. We didn't go into any more detail. He just might be right about the eyes."

Chris sighed, glad for more clues, but frustrated that it didn't give him anything more than a confirmation of an earlier clue, though. "I wish I knew how he came to know so much about dogs. If I try to get it out of him, he'll know I'm digging."

Nathan gave him a sympathetic nod. "I see what you mean. You need for him to trust you, which means not pushing him, but that makes it harder to get information from him in the mean time."

"That about sums it up."

Nathan cocked his head as he watched the kids. "You might try some casual ways to bring up the subject. He lets things slip now and then when the situations present themselves."

Chris nodded again. "You're right, Nathan. If I arrange for more situations to come along where the subject might come up from Vin himself, I won't make him suspicious."

"It's a thought," Nathan said, and wandered off to where Josiah was setting up the horseshoes. Chris turned his gaze back to the kids, his mind working double-time to try to think of a way to get Vin to let go of some of his secrets.

"Don't burn them burgers, now," Buck said, sidling up next to him where Nathan had been.

Chris turned a dark look Buck's way, who responded with a wider grin. He turned back to the kids though, pleased with the carefree expressions on all their faces. "You see that, Buck? That's a glimpse at the happy kid Vin should have been all along. Someone came along and took that away from him."

"Well, now someone's come along and given it back to him," Buck replied.

Chris shook his head. "We don't know for sure what all's been taken from him, so I don't know if I'm giving him everything back, or if that's even possible. What if all I can give him are these glimpses?"

"Whoa, pard. Where's this coming from all of a sudden?"

Chris looked back at Buck, saw the worry clouding his face. "I know, I'm getting maudlin. But every time I turn around, something just makes this mystery of his even more complicated. It's supposed to get clearer, not fuzzier."

Buck sighed, glanced out at the kids, then back at Chris again. "I know you want to find out who exactly he is, and I know you want to do it so you can adopt him free and clear, without any of them monsters from his past in the way. But don't get so obsessed with the boy's past that you forget to mind his here and now."

Chris arched an eyebrow. "Dr. Phil?" Chris asked, feeling his grin return.

"Dr. Buck, my friend," Buck answered with a friendly slap to Chris' back then wandered over to where Josiah and Nathan were starting to pitch the horseshoes.

Chris laughed softly to himself and flipped the burgers, still keeping an eye on the boys. Just as he was getting the patties moved from the grill to the platter, JD came running down the slope of the yard, headed right for him. He skidded to a stop right in front of Chris, who had a defensive hand stretched out in case JD lost control.

"Easy now, you'll crash into the grill and burn yourself. What's up there, buddy?"

"Are we having farworks?" JD asked, excited face beaming up at him.

"You mean fireworks? Sorry, JD. We don't usually have fireworks for a birthday," Chris said, sorry to have to disappoint that happy face.

"Why not? Vin got farworks on his birfday," JD said, face showing confusion more than disappointment.

"Oh he did, huh? When was that?" Chris asked, smiling down at JD, ready to pump the little guy for whatever he could get out of him, before he got suspicious.

JD shrugged, and Chris could tell from the way his eyebrows drew together that he just didn't remember. Finally, he looked up at Chris, and his expression was clear. "It was a long, long, long, long time ago. The whole city got farworks for Vin's birfday and we watched 'em from the roof."

"Well, we'll be sure to have them for all our birthdays from now on. How's that?" Chris said, poking a teasing finger at JD's belly.

"All of 'em?" JD asked, face lighting up again.

"Yours, Vin's, Buck's, and next year, mine. For every family birthday, we'll have fireworks."

"Cool!" JD said, and took off back up to the trees toward Billy and Vin, who were dividing blades of grass and peering into the ground underneath, likely looking for bugs, alongside the pup.

Chris finished putting the burgers on the platter and fought the urge to run into his office to mark down this unexpected bit of intel; Vin's birthday was either on July 4th, or likely right around the time, and was used to celebrating it on the fourth. It would help a hell of a lot in his birth record searches. And even if he gave himself an aneurysm, he'd figure out just how much Vin really knew about dogs and puppies, Malamutes and Huskies in particular, and how he came to know it. And he'd do it without damaging the bond between them that was growing stronger every day.

 

By the time the sun went down a little after eight that night, all the guests were gone, Chris and Buck were doing the last of the cleanup, and the boys were down for the count on the couch in front of the television. Buck swore that he hadn't said a word to the guys or Judge Travis, but they all came with a little gift for the kids as well as for Chris himself, and Vin and JD had finally fallen asleep watching that Air Bud DVD from Josiah. Both kids had been surprised they'd gotten gifts, and Inez had told them that it was because they'd all missed their birthdays until now, and since Chris was getting presents, they wanted the kids to have some, too. Chris was proud of the boys for the heartfelt thanks they'd given everyone for their surprise goodies.

Chris went to great lengths to save the homemade wrapping paper Vin and JD made, and he tucked all the sheets into one of his dresser drawers, carpet fuzz and all, under a stack of some of his tee-shirts. One of those shirts was a gift from the boys; Buck had taken a picture of Vin and JD together, and they'd had the image transferred onto the front of a shirt, with a caption that read 'I'm with them.' Chris planned to wear the shirt all day Sunday.

Finally, everything was put away, except for the boys. Chris waved off Buck, who looked damned exhausted, and said he'd get them in bed. Buck didn't argue, instead plodded off to his rooms with a whispered goodnight.

Chris got JD first, scooping him up in his arms with ease, and carried him to his bed. He didn't think he'd be able to get his pajamas on him without waking him up, so he settled for sliding his jeans off, to let him sleep in his tee-shirt and underpants. The shirt was a little dingy, but he figured the boy would survive. He'd just have to make sure to wash the sheets in the morning and make sure JD got a bath when he got up.

He wasn't sure at first what to do about Vin. His issues with touch were improving, but Chris didn't like handling him when he was vulnerable, because he was afraid it would feel like a violation of trust to Vin. Chris squatted in front of the couch and gently touched Vin's cheek. "Hey, pal. Vin? Bed time, kiddo," Chris whispered.

Vin shifted a little, but didn't wake. Chris slid his hands under Vin's armpits and slowly lifted him. He got Vin up and against his chest, and Vin's legs automatically wrapped around his waist, his arms twining around Chris' neck, as his head flopped to Chris' shoulder. Chris carried him to his bed, and carefully laid him back down on it, Vin instinctively loosening his limbs along the way. He didn't want to risk slipping Vin's jeans off and him waking up in the process, but he didn't like the idea of his jeans under the covers, either. Vin'd spent too much time in the grass and dirt all day, and his jeans were much worse for wear than JD's tee-shirt for that to be a good idea.

Chris got a pair of pajama bottoms out of Vin's dresser, and took them back to the bed. Sitting in the edge, Chris gently shook Vin's shoulder. "Come on, kiddo. Wake up for me. Vin? Bed time, now. Let's get some pajamas on you."

Vin's eyes cracked open just a little, and he yawned big, but he didn't look fully awake.

"Let's get the jeans off and get the pajamas on instead," Chris whispered, holding the pajama bottoms up for Vin to see.

Vin nodded sleepily and reached fumbling fingers down to the snap on his jeans. Midway through getting his zipper down, Vin appeared to have nodded off again. With a grin, Chris gave his shoulder another gentle shake. "Jeans, buddy."

Vin's eyes fluttered again, and he finished with the zipper, then sleepily slid the jeans off his legs. Chris held the pajama bottoms up so they were facing the right direction, and Vin reached for them, sticking his legs in them, with Chris helping just enough to see to it that Vin got them up around his waist. "There we go," Chris said, then pulled Vin up to a sitting position to help him get his tee-shirt off. Once it was over his head, Vin flopped back down again. "Do you want the PJ top?"

Vin shook his head no, and his eyes closed again. Chris pulled the sheet and comforter over him, and brushed back a few unruly locks of hair from Vin's forehead. "Night, kiddo. I love you."

"Love you too," Vin answered in a sleepy whisper and then he was out again.

Chris' stomach flipped, though he knew Vin's response could've been as automatic as his body's response when Chris had carried him to bed. He stayed there for a long while, still seated on the edge of Vin's bed, just watching Vin sleep. It was humbling, and rather frightening, the responsibility of caring for the boys, and understanding how utterly vulnerable they could be. JD had given Chris his complete trust already, and while Vin still held so many things back, Chris realized that trust really wasn't one of those things. Vin might not want to share his past, but Buck was right; Chris needed to pay attention to the here and now, because Vin had already completely handed those over to Chris. 

Slowly edging off of the bed, Chris placed a soft kiss on Vin's forehead, then moved over to JD's bed. JD was snuggled up, curled onto his side. A light kiss to JD's temple, and Chris tip-toed out of the room. He wasn't going to give up on finding what he could about Vin; it was necessary in order to ensure the adoption. But Chris didn't feel compelled in quite the same way to rush to his desk to open the file.

**************************************

Anne Harper ran a hell of a school, and Chris liked her almost immediately. More than that, the boys liked her, too. Chris was fascinated with the way Vin met her eyes and seemed to assess her as they were introduced. Vin wasn't surprised that the 'Doctor' salutation didn't mean medical doctor, considering he'd met PhD's before, at the therapist's office. While Vin and JD's regular therapist was indeed a medical doctor, the practice also employed psychologists and therapists who were PhD's, and they had explained the difference to the boys, who seemed not to be bothered by the difference, just a little confused at first.

It also helped that Dr. Harper didn't look like a medical doctor. In her mid-fifties, she looked more like an aging flower-child, Chris thought, graying hair long and wavy, and not tied up into the bun Chris associated with academics. She wore faded blue-jeans and a paisely button-down blouse, and sunglasses that reminded Chris of John Lennon.

The boys cavorted on the playground while Chris sat with Evie Travis and Anne Harper at one of the picnic tables, watching them while they discussed Vin and JD's enrollment. Dr. Harper replaced her sun glasses with black, wire-rimmed glasses as she settled the paperwork in front of her on the table.

"There are lots of reasons and motivations for seeking out alternative education, Mr. Larabee, so I need to explain to you the different types of children who will be in the boys' classrooms," Harper said, even as she opened JD's file, Evie having sent it to her the week before. "A good number of parents are searching for alternatives to the public school system."

"You're trying to break it to me gently that some of the parents might not be pleased to have boys with troubled pasts in their kids' classes?" Chris asked, but without animosity.

Harper took the question as Chris intended, and gave a subtle shrug as she answered. "While it wasn't exactly what I had in mind, it's a possibility, but I don't see a problem in that regard, considering the behavior that Dr. Perry expects. It's true that we don't get many children who've suffered abuse or the trauma of a parent's death, but we are very upfront with all parents that we do have some children who have had behavioral issues."

"And the parents who are looking for something more elite as opposed to just alternative?" Chris asked.

"It's not so much elite that those parents are looking for, as superior instruction. If they wanted an elite name on their children's records, they'd be going elsewhere, since we're not nationally known. For the most part, they're willing to accept that the specialized instruction means exposure to children who've had some problems. The staff is prepared for those problems and are much more adept at handling them than overworked teachers in a crowded public school system. Most of the parents understand that their children are much safer with possibly disruptive children in this school than most public schools, and will get more individual attention in addition."

Chris nodded, letting that sink in as he watched the boys on the merry-go-round. He really could understand how some other parents might feel, all of them looking for the most stable environments and best educations for their kids. Being perfectly honest with himself, even Chris might be concerned about Vin and JD being exposed to other children who've experienced the worst in life. The difference though, was what Anne Harper said about their staff being equipped to handle the problems that might arise in such children. But more than the school's qualifications regarding troubled children, they had an incredible focus on specialized education, and Chris wanted to hear more about that from Anne Harper herself.

"So how should I expect the boys' educational needs to be met? Specifically, I mean, what would a typical day be like for them?"

Both Dr. Harper and Evie smiled at the question, and Chris could tell that they both enjoyed this part.

"Vin's and JD's schedules are customized for their individual needs and goals. Let's start with JD," Harper said. Chris nodded, Harper's and Evie's enthusiasm a bit contagious.

"All right, JD hasn't been to a pre-school or kindergarten, but it's not unheard of, and he's within the usual age bracket, so we'll start him in the regular kindergarten; but he'll be in with children who also come from situations in which there wasn't a lot socialization. Including JD, there will be eight in his class, six of which have no siblings. The other child comes from a family that had been homeschooling, but decided their kids were missing out on the experience of being with other boys and girls their age."

Chris nodded, it sounded okay so far. "So far so good. Dr. Perry says he's a little behind with the basics. Will that be a problem in a regular kindergarten class?"

Evie nudged Chris' arm. "You're going to like this."

Chris grinned and looked back at Dr. Harper, who leaned forward to explain. "I think she's right, you will like this. There is a primary teacher responsible for monitoring the children in JD's core class. JD's teacher will be Dr. Macklin. She'll see to it that JD gets to the correct designated areas when other teachers are assigned to a specific area of study for him. Mornings are scheduled for the more academic activities for the kindergarten classes, where the children who have some catching up to do go their designated areas. It's one, big open-air room, but it's sectioned off with bookshelves that are color-coded. JD will go to the blue area with a couple of other children in his core class, for the reading room. After the reading time, the children have a social studies time. JD will move to the yellow area for this."

Chris looked from Harper to Evie, catching on, but feeling a little confused. "Is yellow a sort of catching up group, too? I was under the impression that JD was a little behind on social issues."

Dr. Harper smiled. "The yellow is indeed a class for those children needing a little boost in the social studies area. But we don't want the children to associate one color with being behind. So while the color-codes help the children-- and us-- to get a feel for the structure, the color arrangements are different for each subject. It helps to avoid stigmas."

"That's great," Chris said, genuinely impressed.

"I'm glad you approve," Harper replied with a satisfied smile. "We've yet to have a child catch on that their group is geared toward children who have some problems with that particular subject. While we like to stress that needing more help in any particular area isn't something to be ashamed of, neither do we want them to be self-conscious about the limitations they may have."

"Sounds great to me. So what about later in the day?"

"The kindergarten classes have their morning snack break at ten, then art, music classes and playtime. For those children staying beyond the core kindergarten class, which ends at noon, the children have a lunch break, then a nap time, and more play time. Pick-up for all the elementary grades is three o'clock."

"Are the art, music and physical activities divided for special needs, too?" Chris asked, thinking more of Vin and his issues.

"Oh yes," Harper answered right away. "JD appears to be right on schedule with his hand-eye coordination and the abilities of a normal five-year-old. He'll be going to the blue area again for art and music, but since the color codes are different, he won't suspect that there's a particular reason for the color to have any specific meaning."

"All right then," Chris said, finally feeling he had a grasp on this. He looked out at Vin and JD again, watched as Vin pushed JD on the swings, and smiled.

"The bond between them is quite extraordinary," Evie said, smiling at them, too.

"JD already considered him a brother by the time I got in the picture," Chris said.

Dr. Harper nodded, looking at them thoughtfully. "That's really a good sign for how they'll interact with the other children. The fact that they could form such a caring bond under difficult circumstances indicates that emotionally, they'll be ready to handle the usual friendships that develop in early school years."

"I'm relieved to hear that," Chris said, and he was. He was afraid that the boys' closeness meant they wouldn't be interested in making other friends.

"But since they are so close, we don't want to separate them entirely, so Vin's afternoon playtime will coincide with JD's. That way, they'll have the chance to be with other children and yet not feel so separated from each other."

"I'm especially glad to hear that," Chris said, just beginning to wonder about it. "So, are we ready to move on to Vin's day? Did I miss anything with JD?"

"Nope, we're done for now with JD's schedule. We'll be taking the boys on a little tour after we're done here, so if anything else comes up, we can talk about it then."

"Sounds good," Chris said, watching as Dr. Harper slid Vin's file out from under JD's.

"Just as JD, Vin will have a core teacher, for first grade. The subject areas are color coded for his classes, too. From Dr. Perry's test results, it appears that he should placed in an accelerated social studies class, an average level math class, and for the time being, a reading and writing class for extra needs."

Chris furrowed his brow, not exactly objecting, but a little concerned. "Will he do okay in the accelerated and average classes, with the injury causing problems with his cognitive abilities?"

"He should be just fine, Mr. Larabee," Dr. Harper assured. "The class sizes are small enough that the teachers for each can give him some individual attention to help with the visual recognition needed for the subjects, and at the same time, we won't have to let his current learning limitations inhibit his growth in those areas. He has an advanced understanding of social issues that should be encouraged, and his mathemtatical abilities are on par with the expectations for his level of development. The individual attention can help foster his strengths in those areas while his physiology repairs the damage that would otherwise slow him down in them. It's just not practical to take that course with reading in writing, because the limitations will be most evident in those subjects. But he appears to be responding to therapy, and so it's possible that when the winter break is over, he'll be moved a group more consistent with where his natural abilities would have him."

Chris felt his eyebrows climb at his surprise. "The teachers can do that? Keep him on pace with his abilities while dealing with the cognitive limitations?"

"Oh, yes. It's actually rather common for a child to have abilities in a particular area that just need specialized attention in order for the child to realize his potential in those subjects. Vin's classes are designed to have a maximum of ten children for each subject, and all of his teachers have experience with developmental hindrances. One of our basic tenets is to foster each child's abilities with the means we have at our disposal. We don't want to see any child's potential go untapped."

Chris sat back a little, and breathed a relieved sigh. "This sounds fantastic."

"I knew this would be a great place for the boys," Evie said, looking out at Vin and JD again. "It's been terrific for Billy," she added. Chris nodded, knowing she had to be right. Billy was one of the students who had emotional issues, having witnessed his father's death at the age of five. Harper Hill must've been good for Billy, or Evie wouldn't have been so vocal in her belief that it was the place for Vin and JD.

"With Vin's art classes, he'll be in with the average level class, and again his teacher will be aware that he has some temporary developmental issues and will give him the extra help he needs. It's possible that once his physiology permits it, he can be moved to a more accelerated art group. His tests indicate an artistic flair that should be encouraged."

Chris found himself grinning, and unreasonably proud. Rationally, he knew that there was nothing wrong with being at the same level as most of the other children, and that even very bright children are included in what Dr. Harper called 'average' level. But hearing that Vin belonged in a couple of accelerated classes just gave him so much hope that Vin would have a couple of subjects that he could really thrive in.

"All right then, are we ready for the tour inside?" Evie asked, looking every bit as enthused as Chris felt.

"We sure are," Harper answered, and gathered the files again, swinging her legs to the other side of her bench.

Chris stood, too, and waved the boys over. They came back at a run right away, cheeks a little pink from their play. "We're gonna go in and look at your classrooms now. You wanna see?"

"Is summer almost over?" Vin asked, falling into step beside him.

"We've got about 3 more weeks, pal."

"That's pretty long," JD said walking next to Evie and slipping his hand into hers.

"Yes, it is," Evie agreed, smiling down at JD. Times like these, Chris didn't have any doubt at all how Evie Travis ended up presiding over family court issues and why she'd been so damned good at it. The state had lost a terrific child advocate when Evie Travis retired to spend more time with Billy after Stephen Travis had been killed.

They got inside the building, and Dr. Harper showed them the front administrative desk. "If you have to pick up one of the children early, stop here and sign them out. Parents popping into the classroom in the morning is fine, but we like to avoid disruptions once the day has started. Also, in the afternoons, the person picking up the children must be on our approved pick-up list. The core teachers wait with the children out here, and check each child's pick-up."

"That's fantastic. No need to worry about someone unauthorized taking the kids out of here."

Vin squeezed closer to Chris' side having heard that, and Chris rubbed a hand gently over his head, a bit of physical reassurance that nobody Chris didn't personally approve would be taking him anywhere.

JD's class was first, and Dr. Harper opened the door then scooted aside to let them all in first. The room was huge, though the classroom sections were clearly divided into five separate areas. The shelves that divided the areas came up to about JD's chest, and were indeed painted in bright colors, red, blue, green, yellow and white. "All righty, JD. When you come in, you'll come right over here to Dr. Macklin's class," she said, pointing to the area to her right, obviously designated the red area. "Sometimes during the day, you'll go to the blue area, and sometimes you'll go to the yellow area. Dr. Macklin will help you find where to go and when, so you'll never have to worry about it."

"Okeydokey," JD said, wandering around, looking at the shelves. He looked up at them with a worried frown. "There's too many books."

"Ya don't gotta read 'em all, JD. It's like a libary. You got a lot of 'em, but you only gotta read the ones the teacher tells you to," Vin answered, pulling him along to look at some of the picture books over on the blue shelves.

JD let out a soft whew and followed Vin obediently. Chris glanced over at Evie and Dr. Harper, and saw that they didn't look the least bit surprised. "Pronunciation aside, it was pretty apparent from his tests that Vin has had exposure to early education," Dr. Harper answered quietly. "It's difficult to say if it was homeschooling or formal, but he's definitely been exposed one way or another."

They called the boys over after a few minutes and took them to Vin's classroom next. It was right across the hall from JD's room, and it looked much like JD's, with the room separated by colored shelves to section off the designated areas. "You'll start off your day in the white area, Vin, with Dr. Carson. You'll get to meet her the week before class starts, and we'll remind you of some of these things then."

Vin inspected the class area closely, running his fingers over the little desk tops and studying the white shelves the sectioned off the area. "Is she nice?" Vin asked, a little trepidation creeping onto his face.

"She's very nice," Evie answered. "I've known her for a long time, and she's also going to be Billy's teacher this year. Is it okay to have Billy in your class?"

Vin gave her a surprised smile and nodded. "Billy's fun."

Evie smiled wider. "I'm sure you two will have fun together this year. Billy will have to go to a different area for some parts of the day, but you'll be together a lot."

"That's good," Vin said, and went back to studying the room.

The boys wandered over to the red area, out of earshot. "Billy will be in Vin's core class, and have reading and art with him, but Billy will be a separate class for social studies and math," Evie explained.

Dr. Harper stepped up beside Chris, speaking to him though her eyes were on the boys. "About ten days before classes start, we'll send you a copy of Vin and JD's schedule. It'll be color coded, but the schedule won't go into details about what the levels indicate. It's one of the conditions of enrollment that the levels aren't associated with the color codes on any of the documentation the kids or parents receive. The school keeps records that clearly explain the levels the children have achieved. For example, at the end of the year, Vin's records will show what levels in his subjects that he satisfactorily passed; such as if he does well in the accelerated social studies, the records will likely show his achievement in that subject to be consistent with state standards for a second-grade child. His math achievement will likely indicate acceptable standards for a first-grade child."

Chris turned to Harper, understanding the policy of explanations for the color codes, but a little confused about the levels. "So it's possible Vin could have second grade achievements without being in a class of second grade kids?"

"Absolutely. The individual attention allows them to achieve whatever levels they're ready for, without moving them to different grade classes."

"Well, I'm sold," Chris said, grinning as he watched the boys looking at a huge map of the United States.

"I'm glad to hear it," Harper answered with a grin of her own. Chris couldn't deny she had reason to be proud of her school. "As I said, you'll have their schedules in about ten days, along with the day and times you'll bring them in to meet the teachers. The week before classes is dedicated to bringing all the children in to meet their teachers. We find it's better to get introductions out of the way before the first day. It lessens the anxiety for the parents as well as the children."

Chris let out a light snort. "Seems to me it's always more frightening for the parents than the kids."

"Oh yes, that's usually the case," Dr. Harper agreed.

 

On the way back from the school, Chris made a sudden detour, deciding to get a jump on the book aspect of the kids' education. There was a bookstore not far from the federal building, and Chris remembered times he avoided the place because of all the kids running around. It wasn't that he minded the kids; it was more that at the time, it was too painful to see them. He hadn't had Vin and JD then, and it hurt to be reminded of all he'd lost when Adam died.

It wasn't crowded in the store, and Chris could let Vin and JD wander, and still keep an eye on them. It wasn't long before a clerk approached. "Can I help you find anything?"

"Actually, yes," Chris said, though his first instinct was to say no thanks. "I'd like to find a book about dogs, for a child. Something that has pictures and information about different breeds?"

"I have just the thing," the woman said, nodding toward one of the shelves. She pulled a rather large volume out, and flipped through the pages. "This a book published by the AKC, geared towards children. It lists the major breeds, their characteristics, and several pictures. The language is fairly elementary, but it's very factual."

Chris felt his grin spreading. "It's perfect, thank you."

"You're welcome," the woman said, obviously pleased to have been on target. "Anything else?"

"No, thank you. I'll let the boys decide for themselves on the rest."

"Do you want me to hold this at the counter for you, while you finish browsing?"

"That'd be great, thanks." Chris nodded to the woman as she went back to the checkout counter, Vin's new book in her hands.

They managed to get the book in the bag without Vin or JD spotting it when they checked out, and an hour later, they were home, cartoons on the television and new books spread over the coffee table. JD was engrossed in the television, though, but Chris didn't mind. It gave him a chance to speak quietly to Vin.

"Hey, buddy. I got something else at the bookstore for you." He pulled out the AKC book and put it in front of Vin, carefully watching his expression.

Vin's eyes went wide, and he smiled big. "This is great!"

"Glad you like it. I figured since you already know a lot about dogs, now you can learn about all kinds. It's good to have an expert around, in case any of the rest of the gang gets a dog. We'll make sure nobody gets swindled, right?"

Vin nodded. "Yep, it's good to know what yer looking at."

"All right then. I'll go get supper started. We'll have to have something Buck likes, since he'll be pouting that he couldn't come see the school today," Chris told Vin with a grin.

"I'll show him the dog book, too. That might cheer him up," Vin said.

"Oh, I'm sure it will," Chris said, congratulating himself on what he thought was a brilliant tactic. He just hoped it paid off at some point; preferably that evening when Vin decided to share his canine wisdom with Buck.

 

Chris turned the bedside light off, happy with most of the day, and slightly disappointed with some of it. The school would be fantastic for the kids, Chris knew. But the book hadn't yielded tangible results on Vin's past. He'd been enthusiastic about showing Buck the book, but it hadn't provided any more clues about Vin's history with dogs and puppies. Chris refused to consider it a wash, though. Seeing how happy the book made Vin was reward enough.

Now was the time to think about the rewards of summer for the boys, though. School would bring yet more changes to their lives, and Chris felt it was his duty to make the summer as carefree and memorable for Vin and JD as he could. They needed to feel secure and at home with him before they could take the leap into school and the natural insecurities that went along with it.

Chris grinned to himself in the darkness, deciding that the next step would be to fill up those pastures out back. That'd be a great start to making the most of the remains of summer.

 

*************************************


	3. Roadblocks and Roadmaps

***********************

Chris couldn't be prouder of the growing bond between himself and Vin. Even though Vin wasn't ready to tell him about his past, Chris felt as though Vin had offered his complete trust in caring for him in the present and future. More than an offering, it often felt like a willing surrender, and it was damned humbling. There were moments now and then that threatened to steal Chris' breath, though, because they felt like the first moment he'd locked eyes with Vin at the Flaherty apartment. In those moments, Vin's face wore the shadows of a boy who knew entirely too much for his age, his expression reflecting an understanding of the uglier truths in life that Chris had long accepted. Those moments physically hurt. He didn't want Vin to understand the kinds of things that Chris had had to accept; he didn't want Vin to know the things that he knew. There wasn't any such thing as un-knowing something once it was known, though, and that was another thing Chris'd had to accept. The best he could do, Chris realized, was to help Vin push that knowing aside, to make room for better truths; happier truths. That was what the day's road trip was all about.

Chris turned onto the single-lane farm road, watching the side mirrors to be sure the trailer took the corner as it should. He glanced down at Vin beside him, all wide-eyed excitement despite his relative silence. As had been his way since the beginning, Vin tended to show his happiness as well as his displeasure facially, and in soft tones when he spoke, except at the extremes. 

Chris had witnessed the painful extremes in those early days at the hospital when Vin had been the most traumatized. The happy extremes, Chris noted with a private chuckle to himself, had come the night Buck had regaled the boys with his stash of farting jokes. Vin was special, for certain, but still a regular boy, as those tried and true jokes had proved.

Though, the more Chris thought about it, the more he considered other times to be just as happy for Vin, even if quietly so. When Vin had spotted the baseball and glove in his room, and Chris had casually told Vin they'd play catch any time he wanted, Vin's smile had said more to Chris than any shouts could have. And when Vin had carefully carried a hotdog to him at the so-called surprise birthday party the boys had for him, Chris had seen a quiet joy in Vin's eyes, then, too.

Right now, things were also looking pretty good, Chris decided. Once they'd reached the bottom of the driveway, where JD couldn't see, Chris had moved Vin, booster seat and all, up front with him. Just seemed natural for Vin to be right there next to him. The boy just... he fit there. Every time he looked up at Chris and smiled, or pointed out something on the landscape, Chris felt it.

"Ya know, this fella we're going to see, his wife told me they've got the prettiest ponies in the state," Chris said.

Vin turned a 'puh-lease' expression his way, and Chris had to fight not to laugh. "Ya know," Vin began to answer, an unconscious echo of Chris, "JD, still being little and all, he's definitely gonna need a pony."

"I believe you're right, Vin. What about you? What do you think you're gonna need?"

"Well... I ain't so big myself," Vin answered, "so I ought to get a horse that's pretty small, maybe not much bigger than 14 hands."

Chris' eyebrows rose high. Someone had schooled Vin a bit about horses as much as dogs and puppies, it seemed. "I believe that'd be a good height for ya... not too big, but big enough to be a good size for ya for some time to come as you get bigger. So, JD gets a pony, and you... you get a small horse. Good thinking, Vin."

Vin grinned at him a little. "Just 'cause a horse is small, don't make him a pony, ya know. Bein' pony-sized and bein' a pony breed is two different things."

Chris nodded, masking his face in seriousness. "I hear ya, pal. Well, this fella, Mr. Watkins, he's got some ponies and some small horses, so I think we might be in luck."

"Are we almost there?" Vin asked, twisting around a little, showing the first physical signs of excitement since they got in the truck.

"Here's the driveway now," Chris answered, strangely happy to see Vin squirming in his seat.

Parked and now walking towards the pastures, Chris was a little surprised by Vin's continued patience. He'd stayed right with Chris, not running off ahead to get a closer look. He didn't appear to be doing it out of intimidation; it just seemed fine with Vin to take his time and walk with Chris.

When they got the fence, they heard the pounding of hooves, shared a questioning glance at each other, then turned to their left as a big bay came into view. Chris heard Vin's soft, reverent 'Wow', and felt wholly the same.

"Well now, that'd be Twister," a gruff voice called from behind them. An older man, early sixties, denim head-to-toe and wearing cowboy boots, walked over and held his hand out to Chris. "Paul Watkins, glad to meetcha."

"Chris Larabee, Mr. Watkins."

The man stuck his hand out to Vin next, before Chris could introduce him. "I'm Vin, Mr. Watkins."

"Happy to know ya, Vin. This here is Twister, one of the stallions on the farm. He heard your truck, and he thinks you're bringing him a girlfriend," Watkins said with a grin and a wink for Chris. Vin wrinkled his nose a little bit, earning a chuckle from both men.

"He's awful pretty," Vin said, turning to watch the horse toss his head and pace along the fence.

"Thank you, Vin. I think he knows it too, the rascal. Twister here, is actually the sire of a couple of the horses I'm gonna show ya. I think you'll find them just as pretty. Ready to look?" Watkins asked, looking at Chris then Vin.

"You bet," Chris said. Vin nodded enthusiastically, and Watkins ushered them toward the big, red barn down a few yards along the fence. They walked through the barn, past several stalls, mostly empty, and passed through the other side, to a large paddock. Inside, were four ponies of various size. The smallest was a shaggy little Shetland that immediately headed their way, bobbing its head happily.

"Ah, now that's Sophie, the oldest of the bunch-- and the smartest. She knows if she trots over here, someone will take pity on that pretty face and feed her something."

Vin bent down and pulled up a handful of grass. Chris was about to warn him, when Vin pushed his hand through the rails, and opened his palm flat, just as he should have. Sophie snorted softly and took the offering quickly, her lips brushing Vin's palm lightly. Vin looked up then, and smiled at Chris and Mr. Watkins.

"She's a sweet little thing," Chris said.

"That, she is," Watkins said, "but from what you told my wife on the phone, I think your youngest one would outgrow her pretty quickly. I got another couple possibilities in this bunch, though."

They looked ahead at the other three, watching just a moment in silence.

"That little chestnut's awful pretty, too. What's her name?" Vin asked.

Watkins quirked an eyebrow at Chris. He just grinned and shrugged, as surprised as Watkins. "Vin, how'd you know that pony is a mare?" Watkins asked.

The boy looked up at them with a slight blush. "I'm short," he said with an embarrassed shrug, then looked back at the ponies.

It only took Chris a second to catch on that Vin was at just the right height to see the critical parts, and he couldn't hold back his chuckles, and neither could Watkins. "You're a smart boy, Vin," the man said, and walked back to the barn. He looked back over his shoulder, and called out to Vin and Chris both. "Let me get a lead rope, and I'll introduce you to Bit, there."

"Having fun?" Chris asked, placing a light hand over Vin's windblown hair.

"Yup," Vin answered right away, his eyes twinkling.

Watkins was back quickly, and let himself in the paddock through the wide gate. "Hold this closed for me a second?" he asked Chris.

He had the lead rope snapped onto the pony's halter a moment later, and led her back toward them. Chris opened the gate wide enough for Watkins and the pony to get through, but got it closed in time to prevent Sophie from sneaking out with them.

"This here is Two Bit. We call her Bit for short."

"Hi, Bit," Vin said quietly, brushing his palm over the pony's nose and up to her forelock, then down again gently. She stood a good deal taller than Sophie, but definitely small enough for a child JD's size.

"She's gorgeous," Chris said. And she was, he thought. Sleek coat and pretty little head, but with strong, muscled hindquarters.

"Thanks," Watkins said. "She's half-Morgan Horse and half-Welsh pony, with all her papers. She's going on ten years old now, and is as gentle and even-tempered as old Sophie, there. My grandkids started out on her when she was just five."

"That's JD's age," Vin said, moving on to pet the pony's neck.

"I'm thinking she'd give a boy that age a good four or five years," Watkins said.

Chris felt like such an old sap, but hearing those words, and thinking of JD still being with him and riding this pony five years from now, made his throat get tight. He knew in that minute he'd be taking the pony home with them.

"I'm thinking you're right," he finally answered the man.

Vin looked up at him at that, eyes bright, and right there, Chris knew he and Vin were having one of those happy-extreme moments. Felt damned good.

Chris and Watkins settled on Bit's price quickly, Chris not in a haggling mood, and happy to spend what he needed on an animal that be would safe for JD and be around for a while. Watkins put the pony in one of the empty stalls so she'd be nearby when they left. He had another gelding to show them, something he'd said he thought Vin might like.

"He's in the south pasture, there, with some of the other horses. The sound of the grain hitting the feed pans should get 'em up here quick enough," Watkins added with a grin.

Sure enough, as he dumped a bucket of grain into a pan just inside the fence of his south pasture, more sounds of hooves pounded in the distance. Vin climbed onto the lowest rail of the fence so he could see overtop of it.

Watkins went back to refill the bucket as five horses came into view from a small rise in the distance. Vin's wide eyes echoed the thrill that Chris felt, too. There was just something very profound about the sight of these beautiful creatures galloping together, with the wind blowing back their manes and tails.

Watkins had two more feed pans filled by the time the small herd came to a huffing stop at the fence. Chris watched, intrigued as always with the pecking order of a group of horses. Interesting little social structure-- and not too different from people-- he thought, one horse being the dominant one and getting his choice of feed pans, and the others falling into place after that.

The dominant one in this herd had a pan to himself, while the other four shared the two other feed pans. They were all beautiful, and Chris found himself curious as to which particular one Watkins had in mind for Vin. There were two he figured would be a good size for him, one of them a chestnut, darker chestnut than Bit, and the other was a deep brown-- almost black-- gelding with a big blaze running down his face. Both looked like they could've been related to Twister, Chris thought. After all, Watkins had said earlier that he planned on showing them a couple that his stallion had sired.

Watkins laughed then, and Chris looked up, surprised to be caught woolgathering. "I get a little lost like that too, watching them sometimes," Watkins explained, and Chris grinned. "You're right on the mark, looking at the little gelding with the blaze, though. Out in the pasture, he's as rambunctious as Twister, but once he's haltered, he's the sweetest fella on the farm."

Chris looked over at Vin, and found the boy's eyes glued to the gelding; probably had been for a while, he thought. "Whattaya think, Vin?"

"He's beautiful," Vin whispered, his eyes adoringly roaming the little horse.

"I'll get him out for ya," Watkins said, smiling at Vin, then turning back to the barn.

The gelding lifted his head from the feed pan, most of the sweet grain gone, but his jowls still chewing away. The horse was pretty well muscled, and his tail was long and full, indicating to Chris that he wouldn't be too young. The arch of his neck was thick, but graceful, and eyes were large and alert, the highlight of his pretty head.

"He's the most beautiful horse I ever seen," Vin said, so earnestly that Chris almost laughed, happy Vin finally found something worthy of sparing his precious words on.

"He sure is, Vin," Chris said, patting the boy on his shoulder.

Watkins moved next to the gelding, who didn't put up a fuss about getting the lead rope snapped to his halter, then led him to the gate near the barn. Again, Chris opened it for him, closing it before any of the others got any bright ideas. Watkins tied the end of the lead rope to the hitching post set a couple feet from the barn doors, and Chris and Vin approached.

Vin didn't have to be told not to walk behind the horse; he seemed to know his way around the animal pretty well. He stroked the gelding's side, then moved around front of him, petting his neck, and then paying attention to his head. When Vin scratched lightly along the horse's cheek, the horse turned his head sideways and grunted a little in satisfaction.

Both men laughed, and Vin grinned widely.

"Peso, here, is a little piglet for attention. Looks like you found just the right spot, Vin."

"Peso," Vin repeated softly, and Chris knew the boy was a goner for that horse.

"He's eight years old, and like a lot of Morgan Horses, great tempered for kids. He's got his papers, of course, but he's had no formal training for show. I breed and raise the horses for temperament," Watkins said. 

Chris nodded, understanding that one other big difference would be the price. Horses trained for the ring tended to cost a couple more grand, and it didn't guarantee a more sound horse for kids-- or adults, for that matter-- to simply enjoy at home.

"This is another one your grandkids rode, isn't it?" Chris asked.

Watkins nodded. "Sure is. The smallest of the kids are still far too young for him, and the older ones have either outgrown him or are already attached to another horse on the farm. These horses are happiest when they're being ridden and have someone paying attention to them regularly. That's why I sell a handful of the older ones now and then rather than just the foals."

"Does he have a problem being stalled now and then?" Chris asked.

"None at all. Like most of 'em, he prefers the pasture, but he's fine in the stall, especially in the winter."

"Well, Vin? I think you've taken a liking to him," Chris said, grinning.

"Oh, I like him lots," Vin said, nodding emphatically.

"Okay, then," Watkins said, "I've always found that the best way to see if a boy and a horse are gonna get along, is for the boy to help tack him up. Whattaya think, Vin, want to help get him saddled and take him for a little test drive?"

Vin's head snapped up, and his eyes got wider than Chris had ever seen them. "Can I?"

"Sure," Chris answered, stomach doing flips to see Vin so happy.

Watkins headed off for the barn, waving for Vin to follow. They came back just a minute later, Vin carrying the bridle, and Watkins carrying the saddle and pad. Vin hooked the bridle onto a notch on the hitching post, and Chris held the saddle for Watkins, while Watkins and Vin approached Peso with the saddle pad. Vin patted the horse's back, then reached for the pad, which Watkins handed over without a word. Vin settled it gently, watching Peso's face to see that he was all right with this. Chris was stunned at the boy's instincts, and from Watkins' arched brow, so was he.

Vin got the saddle pad on, in exactly the right place, too, and then turned to Chris, waiting for the saddle to be put on top of the pad. Chris did so quietly, it left unsaid that the saddle was probably too heavy, and the horse's back too high, for Vin to get it on properly. Watkins then reached under the horse's belly for the girth. He pulled it up, and Vin slipped it through the cinch, tugging enough to get it pulled through a good way. Watkins took over smoothly, getting it tight enough for Vin to ride on, then tying it off.

Vin then got the bridle from the notch, but looked to be fiddling with it a bit. "Vin?" Chris asked, curious.

"Curb strap done got a mite twisted. Ain't too bad, though," he said quietly, little fingers working on the small leather strap.

Watkins crouched down to see. "Huh, you're right... but there you go, ya got it all fixed. Nice job."

Vin looked up at the man and smiled, then handed the bridle to him. "Don't think I'm big enough yet to reach it over his head proper."

"Ahh nothing to worry about; won't be long before you'll be getting him all tacked up yourself. You only need an inch or two, I'd say," Watkins told him, taking the bridle and getting it on the patient little gelding. He straightened out the reins, leaving them at the withers to be picked up when Vin was in the saddle. He unhooked the lead rope from the horse's halter, and Vin was all set.

"Okay, buddy," Chris said, grinning at the near-bounce in Vin's step as he moved over to the stirrup. "Think you'd like a leg-up?"

"Good idea," Vin said, cocking his head to estimate how high that stirrup was.

He reached up with his left hand to grasp the saddle horn, while Chris crouched and made a little stirrup of his own with his laced fingers. Vin stepped into Chris' hands, and mounted Peso like he'd been doing it all his life. He gathered up the reins in his right hand while he settled his feet into the stirrups-- without looking down or using his hands. 

Chris had gathered that Vin had been exposed to horses, but he was truly shocked at how perfectly he sat astride that gelding and prepared to take him for a short ride. Who in the world would give this boy a life that had him healthy and cared for, and trained in horsemanship among other privileges, and then just let him go and not report him missing? Had it been all privilege and little actual care? Chris just couldn't wrap his head around it, and he wondered if Vin would ever feel ready to open up enough to tell him any of it.

Vin reigned Peso around to walk him along the fence, and Chris stood back to watch.

"The boy knows what he's doing," Watkins said quietly.

"That, he does," Chris replied casually.

"You and I both know you aren't gonna leave here without that horse," Watkins said with a laugh.

Chris turned to him, grinning, knowing Watkins wasn't getting devious on him. "Somehow, I think Vin knows it, too." 

Watkins gave him a friendly slap on the back. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna make it too painful."

Chris laughed outright. "Now, that's relative."

Watkins grinned mischievously. "Hell, yeah."

Up ahead, Vin reined Peso around and headed back. The closer he got, the more clearly Chris could see his smile. Chris sighed. Ah, hell. What's a little pain, when he got this in return?

Chris sighed again, and turned a sideways glance at Watkins. "Time for the checkbook."

Twenty minutes later, Chris had a saddle for JD-- it was the only one Watkins could spare-- and bridles, halters and lead ropes for both Bit and Peso. The running total thus far honestly hadn't been astronomical, and Chris felt good about what he'd gotten the kids, which was the most important thing.

He was just about to start writing out the check, when Peso answered a whinney from the stocky, gray mare who'd shared his feed pan.

"Say your goodbyes, Dollie," Watkins hollered over to the mare, who shook her mane in response.

Chris grinned, then froze when he saw the look of horror on Vin's face. "What's wrong, pal?"

Vin looked up at him, his eyes so sad it punched Chris in the gut. "I'm taking Peso away from his friend."

Watkins took hold of the situation for him, bending down to talk to Vin. "Hey, it's okay, Vin. He's friends with Bit, too. He won't be lonely. And he'll have you to take care of him and give him attention, too. It's fine, I promise."

Vin didn't look convinced. "Won't he miss her?"

Chris winced, the conversation hitting a little too close to home. "He'll think of her now and then, but he'll know she's safe and happy, and Dollie knows Peso will be safe and happy, too."

Vin wiped at his face, ducking his head to try to do it subtly. "Well... all right, then."

Chris whispered a silent, 'thank god,' and breathed a sigh of relief. Vin still looked out at the big mare, though, seemed he couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

Chris glanced back out at her, noticing for the first time just how much bigger she was than the other horses in the small herd. He hadn't paid much attention to her at first, having had his eyes on that dominant gelding, and then Peso.

"Just how big is that mare?" Chris asked.

"Ah, she's half-Quarter Horse, and half-Morgan. She's 15.2, definitely on the large end of what Morgans usually run. She's a quirky thing, I'll tell ya that."

Chris walked closer to the fence, Watkins following, while Vin stood holding Peso's lead rope. Quietly, Chris asked, "Is she for sale?"

Watkins snorted. "Are you serious?"

Chris shrugged. "Could a grown man with a decent background with horses handle her?"

"Oh, hell yeah. What I mean by quirky, is... she's a bit of a trickster, especially with the other horses. She likes to tease. That mare is eleven years old, and is still the one to get the others chasing leaves in the fall; she's the first to go roll in the dirt right after a bath, and I can't count the number of times she's plucked the hat right off my head with her teeth while I was saddling her. But when you got her under saddle, nothing spooks her and she does what you tell her to."

Chris chuckled, and shook his head. "Sounds like a match made in heaven."

"For you?" Watkins asked dubiously.

"Oh, no. For a friend joining us on this little equine experience."

Watkins grinned. "Don't take this the wrong way, but is your friend an overgrown goof with too much personality at times?"

Chris laughed. "Like I said, match made in heaven."

Watkins shook his head, seemingly a little baffled. "She doesn't have any papers... How's fifteen hundred sound?"

Chris turned and shook Watkins' hand. "You got yourself a deal."

Watkins chuckled and headed for the barn for another lead rope. As he approached the gate, he called out. "All right, miss Silver Dollar, you're going on a little ride!"

Chris turned to Vin, saw him looking at Chris, a little puzzled and little hopeful at the same time. When he got up next to the boy, he lifted Vin's chin gently to look into his eyes. "Buck's gonna love her."

Vin grinned wide. "He sure is."

The one stop on the way home was to pick up the gelding Chris had already bought for himself. He got the horse loaded without a problem, and half an hour later, pulled up the drive to the ranch and back to the barn.

Chris didn't have to ask Vin to go get Buck to help; he'd already spotted him, coming out the back door with JD in tow. As he passed the windows of the trailer and met Chris at the back gate, he asked Chris, "Just how many horses you got in there?"

Chris shrugged. "Four."

"Four? Four? Are you out of your mind?"

"Apparently," Chris replied, unlatching the gate. "We go tack shopping tomorrow. Hey... You wanna open the pasture gate for me, and keep JD with you?"

"You *have* lost your mind," Buck muttered, taking JD's hand and interrupting his chatter with Vin about stallions named Twister and such important things.

Chris got Dollie out first, grinning as he heard JD's cackles of joy. He walked her over to the gate, and when he was a few feet from Buck, called out, "She's yours, Buck."

Buck's eyebrows shot upward. "You're kidding me?"

Vin laughed. "Nope. Her name is Silver Dollar, Dollie for short, and she was already friends with Peso and Two Bit already, and she made friends with Nick in the trailer, you'll see."

"Nick?" Buck asked, his face still alight with surprise.

"Nickel Demon, my new gelding," Chris added as he got the horse in the pasture and the lead rope unhooked from the halter.

"Chris? Did you do that on purpose? Buy us all horses named after money?"

Chris stopped dead in his tracks. Nickel, Dollar, Peso, Bit...

Buck laughed and Chris grinned. He was about to reply, when Dollie shoved her nose at Buck's chest, demanding a scratch. "Well, hello, darlin..."

At that second, Dollie threw her chin higher, snapped the bill of Buck's baseball cap between her teeth, and spun around on her hind legs, tossing her head-- and Buck's cap-- in the air.

JD giggled hysterically, chubby face between the slats of the fence. 

"Now you come back here with that!" Buck cried out and chased after the sneaky mare.

"Match made in heaven?" Vin asked, laughter in his eyes.

"You got it," Chris said with a chuckle, and headed back to the trailer to unload the rest of the family.

Nick came out next, and though Chris thought of trying to keep him separated from the others from Watkins' farm until he knew how they'd get along, he went ahead and put him in with Dollie for the time being, figuring he might as well see now how it would work. So far so good, Chris thought, watching as Nick kicked up a little dirt now that he was free of the trailer and had all that pasture to run. Dollie watched him too, occasionally chasing after him, only to pull up and run back toward the fence again. All harmless getting-to-know-you stuff, Chris knew. The real test would be to see how Nick got along with Peso, and whether Bit would be able to hold her own with the more rambunctious horses.

"Buck? Come get ready to hold this middle gate open in the trailer for me. Boys, you stay put right over by the fence, you hear?"

All three answered with a yes, Buck jogging over to stand outside the trailer, getting ready for when Chris swung open the gate that divided the horses by pairs when it was full to capacity. Once the gate swung open, Buck reached a hand inside and pulled the rest of the way, so that it lay flat against the inside of the trailer. "The latch is just under your right hand," Chris called to him.

Chris watched, holding onto Peso's lead rope as Buck felt around, then found the latch that would hold the gate open, and flipped it down, locking the gate in place. "It's secured," Buck called back.

"Back," Chris urged softly, giving a gentle push to Peso's chest to get him walking backward out of the trailer. Smooth as he got him in, Chris got the gentle gelding out again. Once he was out, and walking next to Chris toward the pasture, he let out a hearty whinney, and was answered by both Nick and Dollie, who came trotting to the fence on their side.

"That's Peso, JD! And he's mine!" Vin said, bouncing next to JD, more animated than Chris had ever seen him.

"Wow," JD answered, eyes wide and rapt.

Buck held the pasture gate open for him again, shooing Nick and Dollie away first, and Chris was able to slip in there with Peso without either of the others escaping. He looked over at Vin, knowing Vin wanted to be closer to his horse and yet was stuck by the fence. Surprisingly, Vin didn't look disappointed at all. His grin was still in place, and his eyes were glued to the horse.

Chris unclipped the lead rope from the halter, and Peso trotted away, wanting to stretch his legs much as Nick and Dollie had. Both horses followed Peso, and before long, all three were cavorting in the pasture together, taking the occasional nip at each other's necks, as they tended to do when a bit wound up. They'd likely be testing each other in that way for a while, working out their pecking order, but so far, it looked to Chris that they'd be fine.

"One more to go," Chris said, heading back to the trailer for Bit.

With the middle gate still open, and no other horses in the trailer, it was easy for Chris to just turn the little mare around and walk her straight out and onto the grass. She shook her mane and tried to drop her head to take a nibble of the thick, green lawn underneath, but Chris kept her moving. "Come on, girl, you'll have plenty of that in the pasture."

Buck, Vin and JD all looked on with huge smiles.

"So that's Bit?" Buck asked.

"Yep, that's Two Bit, and we call her Bit for short. She's yours, JD!" Vin said, shaking JD's shoulders from behind him.

JD's jaw dropped and his eyes got impossibly wider. "Stay put, JD," Chris warned again. "You'll have plenty of time to get to know her tomorrow, once she's had a little time to get used to her new home."

JD stood right where he was, face still wearing its expression of happy shock."She's the beautifulest horse ever," JD finally said, eyes still bright with awe.

Chris laughed, loving the sheer joy on everyone's faces. Buck opened the gate again, and Chris got Bit inside quickly. She tugged her head, a bit impatient, and Chris sped himself up accordingly. "Hold on now, girl, almost," he said softly, getting the lead rope unclipped. As soon as she was free, she trotted off, not towards the other horses, who were still nudging each other around the pasture, but for where the grass grew thickest, well beyond where the other horses played. As soon as she got her muzzle down and began grazing, the others took notice and followed. Seconds later, all were happily munching away.

Chris hopped over the fence and joined Buck, JD and Vin, where they all stood perfectly still, watching the horses eat. "She's a smart one," Buck said, eyes still fixed on the horses. "I have a feeling she just worked her way to the top of the pecking order, without having to show her teeth even once."

Chris snorted softly. "Knowing where to find the chow doesn't equate to being the boss."

"Hey!" Buck answered in protest.

Chris just grinned, and looked down to catch Vin grinning up at him, too, obviously having gotten the joke. "They look good together out there, don't they," Chris said, smiling wider as Vin nodded his agreement.

"Is that their dinner?" JD asked, his face now between two rails.

Chris leaned over the fence to better see JD's face when he answered. "That's just a snack, kiddo. We'll give them a real dinner a little later."

"How are they gonna have room for dinner if they keep eating all that grass? They ain't even picked up their heads once!" JD said, craning his neck, still between the rails.

Vin answered for him, quickly. "They're kinda like Buck, JD. They got big enough bellies that they can snack on all that grass, and still got room for supper."

"Hey!" Buck protested again, while Chris just laughed, seeing perfect sense in Vin's analogy.

"All right, boys. Let's get ourselves some supper, and then we'll come out and get these guys fed, too," Chris said.

All of them mumbled a version of 'okay' but it was long moments before any of them budged.

******** 

"Nope, every thing's fine here. Yep, OK, see you around four." Buck hung up the phone and turned around to find two little boys watching him. "That was Chris," he told them, unnecessarily. "He's got some more work to do and then he'll be home."

"He won't be home until four o'clock?" Vin asked.

Buck smarted a little at the look of disappointment on Vin's face, but the boys were used to having both of them home, so he tried not to take it personally. Vin was Chris' shadow, these days, and while it sometimes hurt that he would only allow Chris close to him, each day was an improvement over the last when it came to letting Buck in.

"You two hungry?" Buck asked them.

"We ate breakfast while you was in the shower." Vin told him. "JD was complainin' he was starvin'."

Buck ignored the look of disapproval he was almost sure Vin was giving him as he picked up JD and held him eye to eye. "You're always starving, arent'cha, JD?" Buck tossed him over his shoulder, getting the squeal out of the boy he was counting on. "So, what do you boys want to do for the next six hours with just ole Buck for company? Inside stuff, since we still go that heat wave going on out there."

"Movies!" JD yelled, right into Buck's ear. The kid was easy, Buck chuckled to himself. Now, if only the other one was too.

"Vin?" Buck asked. "Movies okay with you?"

"Okay." Vin said softly.

"You tired, Vin? Were you up at five with Chris?"

"No, not tired," he said, settling into the couch.

"Okay, what do you boys want to watch?"

"Ice Age!" JD shrieked and ran over to the low cabinet that held the kids DVDs.

"Ice Age it is," Buck said to himself. He put on the DVD, popping in Shrek and Cimmarron while he was at and got comfy in Chris' recliner. So maybe watching movies all day wasn't the best idea in the world, but Vin, especially, tired easily and it was too hot out to play outside, and Buck wasn't ready to handle the boys and the horses without Chris right there as backup anyway. 

Within minutes both boys were staring at the TV and Buck was nodding off. 

"Not now, darling, I'm sleeping," Buck breathed out as he rolled over to get away from whoever was breathing in his ear. "Huh?" he said, a little more aware of his surroundings. He nearly fell out of the recliner as he realized it wasn't someone breathing in his ear, it was the air conditioning vent over his head. "Damn," he muttered as he stretched and scratched. "Must have fallen asleep!"

He stumbled around for a moment, still trying to shake off the remnants of sleep. "Must have been asleep awhile. Boys?" he called out. "Now where did they go? JD? Vin?"

Noise from outside caught his attention and he stumbled to the window and looked out. "No!" he yelled, before he even had time to process what he saw. He ran for the back door at top speed, slamming it open and yelling, "Vin!"

Vin was face down in the pool, far under the water in the deep end. "Vin!" Buck yelled again as he ran for the pool. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of JD on the steps into the water and heard his little voice shrieking, "Vin!" at the same time he was yelling Vin's name. Buck dove into the pool from the shallow end, not breaking his stride. He landed almost halfway across the pool and completed his dive under the water mere feet from Vin's body. He hooked his arm around Vin's waist and jerked him to the surface, swimming for the edge of the pool in one motion.

He had Vin out of the pool and on his back before his brain caught up with the rest of his body. "God, Vin! No!" Buck cried as he bent over to check the boy's airway and begin CPR.

Vin spit out the lung full of water Buck's grab forced into him to inhale and started coughing in Buck's face. "Lemme go!" he yelled.

Buck grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him up so he was sitting instead of laying on the tiles. "You're Okay?" He hugged him tight to his chest, squeezing hard.

"Lemme go!" Vin yelled again, coughing up water onto Buck's back between words.

"Vin, are you all right?" Buck asked him again, holding him at arm's length again, his voice breaking. He gripped Vin's shoulders a little tighter and gave a small shake. "Answer me!" he yelled.

"No!" Vin yelled back, trying to twist out of Buck's grip.

Buck realized suddenly how tightly he was holding onto Vin and let him go, Vin scooting backward to get away from him as quick as he could.

"Vin, I didn't mean to scare you, honest. When I looked out and saw you at the bottom of the pool, my damn heart stopped beating!" Buck backed away from Vin, but reached a hand out toward him.

"Leave me alone!" Vin yelled, jumping to his feet and running off before Buck could catch hold of him.

Buck dropped his head into his hands, trying to get his heart rate and breathing back to normal before he took off after Vin. 

"What's wrong, Buck?" JD asked, "Why you crying?"

Buck took a deep breath before asking, "JD, which way did Vin go?"

JD pointed up and Buck caught a glimpse of Vin's little bathing suit clad butt as he shimmied up a trellis on the side of the house.

"Dammit! JD, you go in the house and sit at the table. Don't move until I come get you."

"But I'm all wet," JD said.

"Don't worry about it. You sit at the table and stay put until I get in there. Now git."

Buck didn't wait for JD to agree, he took off around the corner of the house to find Vin.

"Vin, come down here!" Buck yelled up in the general direction he last saw Vin. After a few moments without an answer he yelled again. "Boy, you come down here right now."

Buck gave him awhile longer before stepping back from the house to see if he could see where Vin was. There! Back where the two sections of roof met at an angle, Vin was backed into the corner. "Come on down, Vin, we need to talk."

When Vin still wouldn't answer him, Buck took a deep breath and said, softly, "You need to come down, now. That trellis won't hold my weight but if I have to, I'll go get a ladder. Come down here, now, before you fall."

"You back up!"

"What? Vin, come down, now."

"Not until you back up!" Vin yelled.

Buck took ten steps back and stretched out his arms, palms up. "Fine. See, I'm way back here. Now come down."

Buck watched as Vin composed himself, then inched toward the edge of the roof, Buck's heart skipping a beat as Vin slid around on his belly so he could come down the trellis. It took everything he had to keep from rushing over and helping him down. But just his luck, Vin would spot him getting to close and get spooked again and lose his footing. When Vin's feet finally hit the ground, Buck didn't make a move toward him, but said quietly, "Go to your room, change your clothes and sit on your bed until me or Chris come for you."

Vin watched Buck, suspiciously, then took off at a run, checking over his shoulder to make sure he wasn't being followed. Buck couldn't decide whether he was more hurt or angry.

Buck followed him into the house slowly, stopping just inside the door to peel off his wet clothes. He stormed through the kitchen and into the laundry room in his boxers, snagging some dry jeans and shorts from the clean stacks of clothes. He managed to get dressed, though his hands were still shaking, before he remembered JD.

"Lord help me," he said to the ceiling before opening the door to the kitchen.

"What's wrong, Buck? Is we in trouble?"

Instead of shouting, "damn straight you're in trouble," like he really wanted to, he took the seat next to JD and slumped into it. "You tell me, JD," he finally said.

"You was sleepin." JD said in explanation.

"You were told no swimming."

"But it was hot. And you was sleepin," JD said again.

Buck gritted his teeth. "You were told the pool was off limits."

"You said until we were better. We're better."

"Oh, kill me now," Buck said, covering his face with his hands, "Please lord, just kill me now!"

Buck grabbed a glass from the cabinet with shaking hands, and poured himself a glass of water, needing to wet his dry mouth. Glass drained, he plopped back into his chair at the table and again covered his face with his hands, both still trembling. A pudgy hand reached out and peeled his fingers back from his face. "What's wrong, Buck?" JD asked from about an inch away. "We was swimmin. Vin's a good swimmer. We went to the pool lots this summer when momma was workin."

"Vin! I forgot about Vin." Buck said, jumping out of his chair quick enough to knock it over. He rushed to the boys' room and nearly knocked himself out when he turned the knob and tried to open the door without breaking his stride. 

"Unlock this door, Vin."

No answer.

"Vin?"

Still no answer. Buck's gut clenched. He'd screwed this one up but good.

"Vin, at least let me know you're alive so I don't have to break down the door to check on you."

A loud thump of something hitting the door was an answer, at least.

 

*************

Chris juggled his briefcase and two pizza boxes, trying to free a hand to open the front door. As soon as he got a foot in, JD went running past him, yelling, "Watch me, Chris!"

JD, wearing a white bath towel around his neck, launched himself towards the couch in a flying leap, yelling in midair, "Chris is home, Chris is home!" He landed on the couch, bouncing a little before jumping to his feet to begin the show again.

"Yeah, JD, I am. You give a better welcome home than a puppy," Chris mumbled. "Buck? Buck?" 

"In the kitchen, Chris."

"I got pizza," he called out as he headed towards the kitchen, coming up short as soon as he stepped into the room. "What the hell is going on?"

Buck, wearing an apron that said 'kiss the cook,' dropped a stack of pans onto the counter with a bang. "It's about time you get home. You can deal with your sons."

"What happened to 'our' sons?" Chris teased, knowing that whatever the boys had been up to, Buck had finally accepted that his unofficial role of uncle was infinitely less stressful than that of the official dad.

"Vin ain't speaking to me and JD's calling me SuperBuck. Chris, I'm too young to die of a heart attack. I swear to God, no lyin, my heart stopped beating for about half a minute."

Chris wasn't ready to deal with the crisis yet, so he did the natural thing, and responded to the ridiculous sight in front of him. "You know when you go flapping your wrists like that and swiveling your hips - well you aren't exactly manly."

"God Dammit, Chris! This ain't funny!"

Chris sighed, not sure he wanted to hear this, but knowing he should, and so he dropped the teasing. "A little help here, Buck, I just walked in the door."

As Buck was about to open his mouth, JD came running into the kitchen, his arms outstretched and making very loud airplane noises.

Chris scooped him up as he passed and hung him upside down by his ankles. "Hey, kiddo, what's going on around here?"

"Hi Chris," JD, now right side up and clinging to Chris' hip, said. "Did you know Buck can fly like Superman? Vin's Spiderman! He can climb really fast! You missed it!"

"I sure missed something. Buck?"

"We had some excitement around here today." Buck flipped open the oven door with a groan. "Oh now look what happened!"

"What's in the oven?"

"A peace offering. Not that I did anything wrong, mind you, but Vin's locked himself in his room and he won't come out and I thought maybe some chocolate cupcakes might smoothe things over."

Chris winced. "Buck... you can't cook."

"How hard should it be to make cupcakes from a box?"

"Sit down and tell me what happened. JD! Stop jumping on the furniture. You're going to miss and break your brains."

After a dramatic sigh, Buck finally got down to business. "Right after I got off the phone with you, we popped in some movies and started watching Ice Age. Next thing I know, I'm looking out the window and Vin's face down under the water in the deep end of the pool. Well, I think he's drowned so I run out and rescue him."

"Buck dived from the door all the way into the pool in one jump. He's SuperBuck!"

Chris arched a brow at Buck as he asked, "Did you fall asleep?"

"Well, yeah, but that's not the point. Like I said, I dive in after Vin and haul 'im out and then he starts yelling at me."

"You made him swallow yucky pool water and then you hugged him. Chris, Vin climbs like Spiderman!"

Buck rolled his eyes, but went on. "Like JD said, Vin was on top of the roof faster than a guy wearing tights! I finally get him down and send him to his room and he locked the door and won't talk to me."

Chris narrowed his eyes, not wanting the mental image of what had happened. "You scared him, Buck."

"Him? Him! Chris, my heart stopped!" Buck yelled, flapping his arms again.

"Enough drama, Buck. Sometimes I don't know what to do with you. Hand me a screwdriver from the top left drawer."

"Chris, he knows better than to go in the pool without an adult. You need to set that boy straight."

"Buck?"

"What?"

"Your cupcakes are burning."

Chris left Buck to his peace offering and went to hunt down his wayward boy. As soon as he reached the door, he popped the screwdriver into the latch and the door sprung open. "Vin?" he called into the room, not seeing Vin anywhere.

He looked around for him before having a seat on JD's bed. Vin would come out from where ever he was hiding, Chris was sure.

A few minutes patience was rewarded when Vin popped up from between his bed and the wall, climbing onto the bed.

"You want to talk about it?" Chris asked him.

Vin shook his head no, not looking at Chris.

"Well, we're going to anyway. You know going in the pool without an adult is wrong."

"I took JD to the pool lots this summer. I know how to swim."

"That's not the point, Vin, and you know it. Besides, there were adults and lifeguards at the city pool, weren't there?"

Vin still wouldn't look at him, and in fact, he hardly moved as he spoke. "Buck was sleeping. Had to keep JD quiet."

"Vin, you know you're not supposed to go in the pool without adult supervision."

"Can't wake up grown-ups when they're sleeping."

Chris let out a big sigh before dropping to the floor at the foot of Vin's bed. He sat silently for a few moments, gathering his thoughts. He didn't like it at all that Vin was obviously afraid of what would happen if they woke Buck.

Movement from the bed above him and he unexpectedly found himself with a lap full of half-naked little boy. Vin hugged him, wrapping his legs around his waist and his arms around his neck. "You ain't mad at me, are ya, Chris?" Vin whispered into his ear.

"A little." Chris said, stroking Vin's back lightly, shocked to find him there at all. "But not because you're bad," he said when he felt Vin stiffen against him. "I get mad when I think of something bad happening to you. But I'm not really mad, I'm scared; it just comes out mad cause that's easier than scared. You understand?"

Vin nodded against Chris' shoulder and wound his fingers in Chris' hair. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

"You should be. You scared Buck real bad, you know. He says his heart stopped." Chris laughed a little and bounced Vin up and down. "Buck's got a way with words, don't he?"

"Yep, he sure does."

"Your suit's still wet."

"I'se too mad to change."

"Mad?"

"Buck yelled at me," Vin sniffed and backed off of Chris' lap.

"You think he was mad or scared?"

Vin shrugged his shoulders and leaned against the wall. "He made me mad."

"You sure?"

Vin nodded yes and Chris stood to go deal with the other combatant. "You change your clothes and then come out for dinner."

"Not hungry."

"You don't have to eat, but you do have to sit with the family. You know the rule." And the sooner you and Buck face each other, the better, Chris almost added. "Be in the kitchen in five minutes."

Chris stopped just before he stepped through the door. "Vin?" he asked, all joking gone from his tone. "You go in the pool without adult supervision again and I will fill it with cement. Got it?"

"Yes sir," Vin said and Chris closed the door.

Chris rounded the hall corner just in time to see JD take a flying leap onto the couch. "JD?" he called, "What did I just tell you about jumping on the furniture!"

JD stopped bouncing up and down and perched on the edge of the couch, pouting. "No one wants to play."

"Vin's a little upset. You wanna tell me your version of what happened?" Chris asked as he sat down next to JD and pulled him into his lap.

"We watched Ice Age and Shrek but Buck was snoring so loud we couldn't hear the TV. I tried to turn it up but Vin stopped me. He told me I had to be quiet. I told Vin that Buck wouldn't wake up and hit us, but he told me to shush. Vin's bossy. No one listens to me." JD crossed his arms and tilted his head to peer up at Chris. "How come no one ever listens to me, Chris?"

Knowing a five year old would take it the wrong way if he was told that he talks so much that people tune him out, Chris simply said, "I'm listening to you JD."

JD smiled and nodded and Chris realized he had no choice to listen, he was a captive audience. But, one part of good detective work was getting all of the witness statements. So he nodded back to JD and bounced him up and down a little, making JD giggle. "So, after you left the living room, what did you do?"

"We played in our room. But Vin got mad cause I asked him for the purple crayon and he gave me the blue one."

"He got mad, huh?"

"Yeah, I told him he gave me the wrong one and he dumped all the crayons out."

"Maybe he didn't want to color any more."

"Nah, he didn't wants to."

"What did you do next?"

"I found bathing suits in the closet."

"You did, huh?" At this point, Chris would usually start grilling the suspect but since JD wasn't exactly a perp, he didn't point out the fact both boys had been told they couldn't go in the pool.

"Yup, we sure did. I asked Vin if we could put 'em on and he said no! He's always saying no. I told him he's not the boss any more and he got mad at me and slammed the door."

"That wasn't very nice."

"Nope, it wasn't." JD said, shaking his head side to side so fast, his hair twirled around his head. "I couldn't find him for a long time so I started yelling for him and he told me to shut up. Why's Vin so mean sometimes?"

Chris grinned, and decided to take this little talk on a quick detour. "Did I ever tell you about my big sister JD?"

"You gots a sister?"

"Sure do. She's four years older than me and she was always telling me what to do. My mom and dad left her in charge all the time, too."

"Was she mean?" JD asked, eyes wide.

"I thought so when I was little, but when I got bigger, I realized she was looking out for me, not trying to be mean."

JD nodded all too knowingly. "Vin looks out for me. I sometimes forget the rules."

"You do, huh?" Chris asked him as he hugged him. "Sometimes rules are hard to remember."

"After Vin came to lived with us, Joey didn't yell at me so much."

"No?"

JD shook his head. "Nope. Vin and me would play quiet so's he didn't wake up and start swearin and throwin things."

"See, Vin was looking out for you."

"But I told him we could wake up Buck. Buck's not mean!"

"Maybe Vin's just getting used to the new rules."

"Maybe." JD conceded. 

Ready to get back on track, Chris gave JD another little bounce, and said, "So you found your suit and you found Vin. Then what?"

"We played outside but we was really hot. So we put our feet in the pool. Vin made me wear one of Buck's shirts and his hat cause he couldn't find the sun stuff."

"So you don't get sunburned?"

"Yeah, that stuff. When we went to the pool, I had to wear that stuff or I get all red and it hurts."

"Me too," Chris said.

"Vin don't wear it. He gets brown, not red. What's a wetback, Chris?"

"What?" Chris said, stunned.

"Joey told momma Vin's a wetback and that's why no one wanted him. Vin called him a bad word and Joey smacked him in the face."

Chris suddenly wished he'd been the one to pump McKay full of lead.

"Then me and Vin gots in a fight."

"How come?"

"Cause Vin said my momma's a stupid woman for letting Joey live with us. My momma ain't stupid. She's smart!"

"So you and Vin got in a fight, huh?"

"And he went up on the roof and he didn't come down for a really long time!"

"Did he miss dinner?" Chris asked, still feeling dumbfounded, but knowing he had to get this history while he had the chance.

"He missed two dinners! Momma gotted him off the roof."

Chris caught movement from the kitchen doorway and saw Buck standing there listening. 

"JD," Buck said, "Go check on Vin and get washed for dinner. Pizza's getting cold."

"OK, SuperBuck!" JD yelled and jumped off of Chris' lap.

"You get all that?" Chris asked Buck quietly as they walked into the kitchen.

"Yeah, I heard it." Buck said. "JD didn't act like it was anything out of the ordinary."

"I know. I guess ordinary has a different meaning for them than it does for us."

Buck looked back toward the hallway, then said softly. "You think we're doing the right thing, here, Chris?"

Chris gritted his teeth, not ready for this talk and knowing it was the wrong time anyway. "Not now, Buck. This is a conversation for when little ears aren't around."

"Speaking of which..." Buck nodded towards the doorway where Vin stood hesitantly, a little glare on his face.

Chris snagged some paper plates from the counter and some cups from the cupboard and quickly served up some pizza before sitting down.

"Said I ain't hungry," Vin said softly.

"Don't eat, then," Chris told him with a shrug. "Want a drink?"

Vin shook his head no and Chris glanced at Buck. Vin's stubborn side wasn't making its first appearance, but it had been rare enough that neither of them was adept at handling it yet.

"Vin," Buck said after he finished his pizza. "I didn't mean to yell at you today."

Vin sat staring at his full plate, not ready yet to talk.

"Vin," Chris warned. "Don't ignore Buck."

"I know how to swim." he said.

"That's good. But you can't go in the pool without an adult."

"I know how to swim," Vin said again, this time looking up at Chris.

"Yeah," JD piped in, "Vin swims real good."

"Boys," Buck said. "Anything can happen. Anything, even to a real good swimmer. Did I tell you Chris and me was in the Navy together?"

"What's the navy, Buck?" JD asked.

"Like the army but with sissies," Vin told him.

Chris nearly spilled his coffee he was so shocked by Vin's pronouncement.

"Where in the world did you learn that?" Buck asked, trying to keep a smile off his face.

Vin shrugged his shoulders, obviously with no idea just what he said that was so funny.

"Vin's right about one thing, JD, the Navy is like the Army. But it ain't for sissies! It's the Army on the water. OK?"

JD nodded at Buck and picked some pepperoni off his pizza, not really interested.

"As I was sayin', me and Chris was in the Navy together and we're both really good swimmers but even we don't swim without a buddy."

Chris glanced at Buck, warning him with a look about even little lies. 

"Well, in the pool we might because it's small, but a lake or the ocean, we always swim with a buddy. You know why?"

Vin shook his head, at least willing to listen.

"Because even a really good swimmer can get in trouble and need help. You can drown in just a little bit of water."

"But JD was right there and you was in the house. Weren't nothing going to happen. And it was hot."

"Vin," Chris said. "It's the rule. End of story. This isn't up for discussion."

"Can I go?" Vin asked.

"No. Look at me, Vin."

It took Vin a minute, but he did obey. 

"How do you think Buck would have felt if you got hurt because he wasn't paying attention?"

Vin's eyes widened and he suddenly looked like he was about to cry.

Bullseye! Chris almost grinned but this was serious business. He tried another tactic, now that he had some ammunition. "What if you got a cramp and you needed help. JD can't swim but he might have tried to help you. Did you think about that?"

Vin blinked a few times, trying to clear his eyes and Chris looked away. Okay, maybe the tactic was working a little too well. "Vin," Chris said softly. "I know you didn't mean to disobey and go in the pool. JD told me what happened. I know how tempting it is to get wet when it's hot. But we're looking out for you and that means rules to keep you safe. Got it?"

Vin nodded, blinking back tears that threatened to fall. 

"Good." Chris told him. "I know you're used to looking out for yourself and I know you didn't mean to scare Buck so bad, so you're not going to be punished. But I wasn't kidding when I said I'd fill the pool with cement if you do it again. There won't be another warning. This is serious. Do you understand?"

Vin nodded again and looked away. He blinked back the tears that still threatened and Chris gave him some time to compose himself. 

"Vin," Buck said softly. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I wasn't thinking - I thought you drowned and I was scared. I didn't mean to scare you too."

Chris watched Vin and Buck for a few moments - both of them processing what had been said. Even JD was quiet. "Okay, I think we've straightened this out, don't you?" Chris said to everyone at the table. "Boys, Buck made chocolate cupcakes for us."

"I sure did!" Buck said as he stood and cleared the table, coming back with his cupcakes. "Now, I'm not too good at this cooking stuff but they look pretty good to me. How do they look to you?"

"Yummy!" JD said.

"I ain't hungry," Vin said softly, looking down at the table.

Chris shrugged at Buck, saying silently, 'let it go.'

JD, Chris and Buck each grabbed a cupcake and started eating.

"Vin," JD said around a mouthfull of chocolate. "They're real good. Nice and gooey in the middle like brownies."

"And crunchy on the outside," Chris said with a smirk.

But still Vin wouldn't look at any of them.

"JD, I don't know how one little boy can make such a big mess," Buck said laughing. "You finish up and I'll help you take a bath before bed, all right?"

"We gonna pay boats?" JD asked around a mouth full of chocolate.

"We'll play Navy," Buck told him.

"Buck?" Vin asked softly.

"Yeah squirt?"

Vin climbed down from his seat and came to stand in front of Buck, who pulled his chair out so Vin could stand between his knees. 

Vin gave Buck a shy smile, dimples creasing his cheeks. He blinked slowly a couple of times and moved closer to Buck. "I'm real sorry I scared you," he nearly whispered, then leaned in and hugged Buck, climbing onto his lap.

Buck rubbed his back and raised an eyebrow to Chris.

Vin kissed him on the cheek then looked up at Buck through half open eyes. "I won't ever do it again, I promise."

"I believe you, Vin. And I'm sorry I grabbed you. I thought I was saving you. Guess I should have looked before I leaped, huh?"

"Yeah, I wasn't drowned." Vin said as he climbed down from Buck's lap. "Can I go?" he asked, looking from Buck to Chris.

"In a minute," Chris said. "There's one last thing you and JD both need to understand."

"Okay," Vin replied, looking distinctly suspicious.

He had both Vin'sand JD's attention, though, so Chris wanted to have his say while it would be sure to sink in. "It doesn't matter what time of day or night it is. If you boys need something, you wake up me or Buck. If you're worried that doing something might be against the rules, come and get one of us and we'll talk about it. If it's against the rules or the answer is no, we'll just tell you, and you won't get in trouble for asking. This is important, boys. We're here to take care of you and to help you. Don't ever, ever worry about asking us for something. You won't always get what you want, but you'll never be in trouble for asking. Are we clear?"

"Even if it's the middle of the night?" JD asked, looking just as disbelieving as Vin.

"Even if it's the middle of the night," Chris answered firmly. "Doesn't matter what time it is; if we're still asleep in the morning, if we're taking a nap during the day, or even if it's the middle of the night, you can always wake one up or both of us, and you will never, ever be in trouble or hurt for it."

JD shrugged, seeming satisfied, but Vin obviously still had his doubts, from the way he looked looked back and forth again from Chris to Buck, through slightly narrowed eyes. Chris realized that with Vin, he'd have to learn the truth of his words through experience. "All right, Vin. Get your stuff ready for a shower and I'll be in to run the water in a few minutes, Okay?"

Vin nodded and left the kitchen, JD in tow.

"Interesting apology," Buck said after the boys were gone for a minute.

"He did the same thing with me, earlier."

"I feel kind of played," Buck said after another minute.

Chris felt the same way, but was loathe to admit it. "I think he was trying to show he really meant it."

"You're probably right. But I been apologized to like that before and never from a little kid."

Chris ignored the implication of Buck's previous apologies, Buck's love life not being relevant. "I'm surprised he did at all. Takes a lot to apologize."

"Sure does," Buck said, glancing at Chris from the sink, his nervousness obviously creeping up again.

"Vin's got a good sense of right and wrong, Buck. He knew he did wrong so he apologized. Pretty mature for a seven year old, I'd say."

"For anyone, I'd say." Buck said. "Chris, I know I shouldn't have fallen asleep. It won't happen again."

Chris shook his head. "Not now, Buck. We'll talk once they're sleeping." Chris knew he'd been keeping a tight leash on his temper, but he was running out of patience. He knew it was starting to show, too, and it wasn't the time for it. He'd been amused, at first, coming home to a scene like the one he'd walked in on. But the more he heard, the madder he was getting. Oh yeah, he and Buck were going to talk.

 

Chris glanced at the hall clock on his way from the kids' room. Half past nine, and both boys were finally sound asleep, while Chris' anger and anxiety about the day's events simmered in his gut.

He plopped into the recliner, knowing his stare was hard and cold. The more time Chris had to visualize all that had happened, the more it sank in just how bad it could have been. He saw the bob of Buck's throat as he swallowed. Good. He'd be listening, then.

"Asleep, now?" Buck asked.

"Yep. Any guesses as to where Vin's sleeping?" Chris said, his voice low and even.

Buck closed his eyes and ducked his head, but didn't answer.

"On the floor, Buck, right between his bed and the wall," Chris said anyway, though it was plain that Buck knew. It was where Vin always slept when he was feeling afraid or out-of-sorts. The boy spent his first four nights at the ranch in that exact spot, and since then whenever he was disturbed. Obviously, Vin was highly disturbed today, and Chris was, too.

"You fucked up, Buck," Chris said softly, knowing if he spoke any louder, his anger would boil over.

"I just fell asleep, Chris," Buck said in his defense-- though he and Chris both knew it was a weak one. 

Chris shook his head and shot up from the chair to pace the living room. "You don't just fall asleep when you have kids around, Buck. They're kids, for Christ's sake!"

Buck stood up from the couch and planted himself in Chris' path. "They're good boys, Chris. It didn't occur to me that they'd disobey like that!"

"Of course they disobeyed! It's a hundred degrees outside, there's a sparkling swimming pool right outside the window, and as I've been trying to get you to understand... they're kids! It's not their job to fight temptation. It's our job to fight it for them. There's a reason kids need constant supervision, Buck. They don't have good judgment. That's why they need us."

Buck turned away, sat heavily on the couch, and cradled his head in his hands. Chris blew out a gusty breath and plunked down into the recliner again, feeling deflated.

"It was a mistake, Buck. But it's one I hope to hell you learn from."

Buck looked up sharply at that. "You think it didn't cross my mind what coulda happened?"

"No, I think it crossed your mind; just a little too late," Chris answered, more harshly than he intended.

"Well, I ain't got your parenting experience, Chris," Buck said, and Chris watched as his face shadowed a little. He knew Buck regretted that last statement; knew he was regretting that he might be rubbing it in all that Chris had lost.

"I know you don't. And believe it or not, that's part of why I wanted your help," Chris said, ready to take the sting out of their words.

"I don't get it," Buck replied, eyebrows knitted together.

"They need your levity, Buck. They need someone around who's quick to see the humor and the light side of things. That's not me," Chris said, ignoring Buck's snort of agreement. "But you also need to be a little more responsible, too."

"Now you're saying I'm irresponsible?" Buck asked, incredulous.

"Given what happened today, yeah," Chris answered. So much for taking the sting out. But it had to be said, Chris thought. "You mean well, Buck, and that counts for a lot. But you're also going to have to work on being a little more diligent. When you're watching the boys, you have to literally watch them."

Buck nodded, but turned away. "I'm sorry, Chris. I won't screw up like this again."

"I know," Chris said. "I'm sorry, too. But we can't pussyfoot around each other when it comes to keeping these kids safe."

"I hear ya," Buck said, facing him again. He sighed, then, and stood. "I'm gonna turn in. Been a hell of a day."

"See ya in the morning, pard," Chris said, watching as Buck just waved goodnight over his shoulder.

Alone, Chris leaned back in the recliner, trying to bat away the mental images of what could have been a tragedy that day. He could have been easier on Buck, but it wouldn't have done either them-- or the boys-- any good. Buck was secure enough to know that Chris appreciated him for all that he did do, and do well. But if they were going to prevent something like this from happening again, Buck had to understand just how quickly things could turn disastrous. 

And they both needed to pay particular attention to Vin's choices and how he made them. It wasn't just a matter of right or wrong with Vin. Chris didn't realize it until now, but they were dealing with a boy who was constantly battling to do the right thing, when the right thing was the difference between getting beaten or not. Looking at it that way, Chris wasn't surprised that right and wrong had very different meanings and results for Vin.

Vin's experiences with McKay, and probably before that, were likely such that the right thing for other kids often led to physical pain for Vin. Chris couldn't begin to imagine how confusing that had to be for a child, since he couldn't hardly get his mind around it himself. The bottom line, as Chris saw it, was that Vin's sense of right and wrong could be pitted against his survival instincts at any time, and Chris and Buck would have little warning of that.

Hell of a road they had in front of them, and if they were going to make it, Chris knew he needed to come up with some damn kind of map.

 

***********************************************

Chris carefully took the corner into the driveway, watching the sideview mirror to make sure the lumber in the truck bed didn't scrape against the trees as he drove past. The boards, and the red flags hanging from the ends of them, cleared without a problem, and he was able to pick up a little speed, then. He knew without a doubt that the boys would be up by now, and he was anxious to spring this little surprise on them.

He'd called Nathan and Josiah after he'd left the building supply, and they'd be there soon, too. With four of them working, they'd have it all built by late afternoon, Chris was sure. And it wouldn't be too terribly painful, seeing as the heat wave had finally relented, and the temperature would only reach a comfortable seventy-five degrees. Thankfully, they'd be working in the shade most of the day, too.

He had something for the kids to do, as well. He'd bought more than lumber and supplies; he also picked up a couple of toy tool sets, having spotted them at the checkout counter as he was settling up on the bill. He had no doubt that Vin and JD would get a kick out of helping with this project. He hated to go all pop psych and all that nonsense, but he couldn't help but think that maybe helping out would give Vin a sense of empowerment, too. He'd be taking an active role in building something that would feel like a safety net for himself.

Chris pulled up into the grass once he got to the top of the driveway, and headed up to the tangle of big, old trees just before the pasture fence. He hopped out of the cab of the truck, and on cue the boys and Buck came out the back door to see what he was up to. Buck and Vin followed JD at a slower pace, JD's little blue-jean clad legs taking him at a dead run. When JD got within a few feet of him, Chris opened his arms, prepared for JD's usual launch at him. He scooped up the little boy and planted a loud kiss on his cheek, JD's giggle making him smile.

Buck and Chris got there just a moment later, and Chris put JD back on the grass.

"Are ya building something?" JD asked.

"Actually, we're all gonna help build it," Chris answered, watching all their reactions carefully. "We're gonna build you boys a treehouse."

JD's jaw dropped and his eyes went wide. Buck grinned ear to ear, and Vin's mouth opened in a surprised O.

"A treehouse? For me and JD?" Vin wasn't just excited; he was grateful, too, Chris knew. Vin's eyes held a softness that Chris recognized from other times had been given something he needed but didn't fully realize he had a right to have.

Chris nodded. "Yup. That way, you boys can have a place all your own to play, and," Chris added softly, "Vin, you'll have a place you can go to any time you feel like you want to get away and feel safe."

JD was awed by the idea of the treehouse, and Chris couldn't have been happier about that; JD hadn't had a lot in his young life, and Chris liked surprising him with things like this. But Vin, his reaction loosened a few knots Chris had had in his stomach since coming home from work yesterday.

"What do we do first?" JD asked, tugging on Chris' pant leg.

Chris laughed. "First, you three need to go get some shoes on while I start getting this lumber unloaded. The rest of our crew should be here soon, and we can get down to business.

"Let's go!" Vin said to JD, yanking on the other boy's shirt sleeve, then both of them were off.

Buck shook his head then looked at Chris with a sly expression. "You crafty old dog, you."

"I have my moments," Chris answered with a grin and turned to the truck bed. Buck chuckled a little, then ambled after the boys.

The bluebrints to the treehouse were firmly tacked to the tree next to the one Chris planned to build the thing on, and he had the lumber separated by size. Vin and JD sat on the ground in the shade, playing with their new tool sets. Chris had a particular project in mind for them, and he figured Buck could devote some of his time helping them. Not because Chris didn't want to-- he'd have loved to be the one spending that time with them-- but Chris figured Buck and Vin could use a little fun time together, just in case a little residual bad feelings about the swimming pool incident still lingered. Little extra bonding could never hurt, Chris figured.

Nathan and Josiah pulled up in Nathan's pickup, both looking as happy to help as they'd said they'd be when Chris called them.

"Mornin', boys," Josiah called when he was within earshot. "Ezra not coming to this little shindig?" he added when he reached the trees.

"Nope," Vin anwered, looking up from his piece of wood scrap. "Chris said he ain't comin', on account of he's useless with this stuff and probably ain't even outta bed yet."

Chris choked on his coffee, not having realized that Vin had heard that comment earlier, but the other men just laughed.

"Pretty accurate assessment, I'd say," Josiah said, still smiling wide.

Nathan crouched down next to the boys. "Whatcha got here, guys?"

"We gots our own tools!" JD answered, holding up his screwdriver for Nathan's inspection.

"You sure do," Nathan said, giving his nod of approval to the tools. 

"We're gonna build a treasure chest to keep in the treehouse," Vin added, pointing to the kit Chris had placed beside them.

"Pretty cool idea, boys," Nathan said, smiling at their things with appreciation.

"Chris thought of it," Vin told him, then looked up at Chris with a warm smile.

"I'm not surprised," Josiah said, looking down at the boys and their surprises. "Chris has lots of good ideas."

"Yeah," JD said happily but a little absently as he began hammering at his own little scrap of wood.

"All right, then, let's take a look at these plans." Nathan stood and stepped around the boys to look at the blueprints.

Buck's face lit up, and he nudged Chris with his elbow. "Hey! Why don't we put a fireman's pole down the middle of it?"

JD and Vin both looked up, excited, and Chris groaned. "No way, boys. Too dangerous." All three of them-- Buck, JD and Vin-- deflated a little. "But I think maybe we could do a slide from the window," Chris added.

"Yeah!" all three shouted together, and Chris chuckled. There was a good reason Chris liked having Buck around the kids, and this one of them. Took a big kid sometimes to know how make little kids happy. And Buck's enthusiasm did tend to be contagious.

"Ya know," Buck added, looking from the blueprints to the tree with a gleam in his eyes. "From the looks of this, I wouldn't mind having a little getaway just like this. All it's missing is a phone with a direct line to the kitchen... you know, so I can call someone to bring me a beer-- or a soda," he added quickly.

A slow grin crossed Chris' face. "I don't say it often, Buck, and with good reason... but sometimes you're a genius."

"Huh?"

"I think we can put an intercom in here for the boys, from the treehouse to the house," Chris explained.

"Why?" JD asked. "Ain't nobody gonna bring me a soda all the way out here."

Chris laughed. "Well, we'll have to see about that. But with an intercom, we can call out here to check on you boys without horning in on your fun; and you can call us at the house if you need us."

Buck grinned then, too. "I guess I am a genius."

"I like that idea, too," Vin said, the softness in his eyes back again.

"I'm glad, pal." Chris bent down and brushed a hand over the back of Vin's head. He also leaned over and gave JD another kiss on the cheek before straightening up and going back to the blueprints. They had a long day ahead of them, but they were taking another step closer to giving the kids what they needed to make them healthy and whole, inside and out.

"All right, boys, this is the plan..."

 

Bless Josiah and his foresight, Chris thought, flipping the steaks on the grill. He'd only figured on the hotdogs they'd had just before noon, but with the way everyone was working to finish the treehouse, all of them had built up quite an appetite again. The way things were going, they'd have the whole thing done right about the time the steaks were ready, and then they could all relax, eat and splash around in the pool for a while.

They'd had to cut off some of the branches on the tree, which had worried Vin until they assured him it was only a few of the littler ones, but otherwise the treehouse was a perfect fit. Of course, the treehouse wasn't actually supported by the tree itself; it was built to be supported by four sturdy beams that reached into the ground, but once they'd gotten the frame up, the illusion was definitely such that the large, lower branches on the big tree held up the little white treehouse. The green shutters on the two windows were a nice touch, Chris thought. He'd have to double-check the measurements to make sure the slide he intended to buy was the right height for the window facing the lawn. And he'd have to be sure he got it secured before he let the boys start sliding down. But he couldn't wait to see their faces the first time they came out of that window and slid to the ground. As little as they boys were, it probably looked a long way down from up there.

Both Vin and JD stood under the floor of the little house, looking up at the trap door they'd use to get in and out of it. Josiah was up inside, with Nathan hunched underneath with the boys. Chris couldn't hear the conversation, but the occasional laughter from all of them drifted his way now and then. Chris looked around then, wondering where Buck had slipped off to. A second later, he came ambling from behind the barn, adjusting his fly.

Chris let out a soft snort. Only Buck would sneak off to piss behind the barn rather than walk another fifty feet it would take to get him to the house. Ah well, boys will be boys, Chris thought, shaking his head.

A moment later, Vin came jogging his way, a happy, relaxed grin on his face.

"Getting hungry, big guy?" Chris asked once he was in earshot.

Vin nodded enthusiastically. "Starvin'!"

"Is that so?" Chris teased, taking a light poke at Vin's belly.

Vin laughed, covering his stomach defensively, but Chris was thrilled that it wasn't a literal defense, just the normal, token objection most kids put up to being tickled.

"We get real steak?" Vin asked, eyes falling on the grill with naked want.

Chris chuckled. "You bet. So tell me, are you a Heinz 57 kinda guy, or an A-1 guy?"

Vin cocked his head, considering. "A-1's the stuff that puts hair on your chest, right?"

Chris laughed outright. "Just between us? It hasn't worked all that well for me, kiddo."

Vin grinned, but looked relieved. "I'm glad to hear that, 'cause I'm too little for hair on my chest, and I like A-1."

Chris ruffled Vin's hair, shaking his head and still laughing. "You're one of a kind, Vin."

Chris flipped another steak, his other hand still combing through the waves of Vin's hair. Vin crooked a finger at him, beckoning him to bend down. Chris put the skewer on the side table of the grill and knelt, curious as to what Vin wanted.

Vin opened his mouth, then closed it again, looking around them until his eyes fell on everyone else there. Apparently, Vin didn't want to be overheard. Spotting everyone, Vin crept a little closer.

"Tanner," he said softly.

"What's that?" Chris asked, completely lost.

"Vin Tanner."

Chris stared for a second, utterly dumbfounded. "Your name?" Chris finally whispered.

Vin nodded, his face solemn.

"Thank you," Chris said softly, unwilling to break the quiet between them. His palm was still resting gently on Vin's head, and he gave it another light rub. 

Vin's smile was small this time, but no less genuine than when he displayed his rare exuberance.

"Vin! Ya gotta see it!" JD hollered down from under the treehouse, breaking the spell. 

Vin sighed and rolled his eyes, as he often did when JD yelled for him, but he turned and ran back for the tree anyway. Chris stood, swallowing the thick lump in his throat. He had no idea what inspired this amazing-- for Vin-- display of trust. A dozen questions popped into Chris' head, then. Would Chris be 'allowed' to tell Buck and the other guys, and would they be using Vin's own name at the school, or would that be breaking the trust Vin had just extended? Did Vin understand that his name would now need to be used on the guardianship papers and filed with the court?

It was a good five minutes before Chris realized that he hadn't even considered running to the house to add this tidbit to the file and make preparations for more searching. Of course he'd have to investigate Vin's background again now that he had a last name, but it hadn't been his first thought. His first thought had been gratitude for Vin's trust and joy to just know something else, something important, about his boy.

"How's it coming along down there?" Josiah yelled down from the window of the treehouse.

Chris grinned big. "Just perfect!" 

Chris didn't care that Josiah was probably referring to the food.

************************

Chris kept a watchful eye on Vin and Peso, up ahead of him on a slow trot along the fence of the far pasture. Vin was good with his horse, but Chris knew that any horse could get to feeling his oats if he picked up his pace in an open pasture, where the breeze tended to kick up more. So Chris'd made sure to tell Vin to stick close to the fence line, where Peso would tend to behave a little better. Vin had had Peso in a gentle canter at least a couple dozen times, and Chris had felt as though he was suffocating with every step, but Vin had been fine each of those times, never having lost control of his horse. It was damn hard for Chris, balancing a healthy dose of caution with his desire to allow Vin the freedom to enjoy riding the way it came naturally to him.

It was actually easier with JD, who'd never been near a horse in his young life. Chris had the excuse to mostly lead JD around on Bit, and the rare times Chris didn't just walk beside the pony around the yard, Chris had led them while on his own horse. JD was little enough, and new enough to horses that he didn't mind at all that he wasn't just up on his pony's back and off and running on his own. Chris truly feared the day that he knew would eventually come, when JD would be ready to pull himself up into the saddle, pick up the reins and go. 

Vin looked back over his shoulder, having slowed Peso to a walk, and even from that far ahead, Chris could see the slight smirk on Vin's face. It wasn't a malicious expression, just a knowing one. Chris couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled up; he couldn't get much past Vin, and he found that that didn't bother him at all. Vin's mouth curled up into a full smile, and he nudged Peso back into a trot, apparently knowing full well that while Chris was still a tad nervous, he didn't plan on pulling Vin back just yet. Chris shook his head and followed along, his own gelding content with the easy pace.

Soon enough, they reached the knot of trees where they planned to stop for their lunch. Chris got the lead ropes from the back of his saddle, hooked each one to the horses, and tied them to the top rail of the closest fence rail, leaving enough room for Nick and Peso to reach the ground to nibble at the grass.

As he spread their blanket under the shade of the trees, he caught Vin looking at the horses, an especially speculative tilt of his head. "Whatcha thinking, buddy?"

Vin looked back up at him and shrugged, then plopped onto the blanket. "Be easier if we could loop the reins over the rail, like they do on hitching posts in the movies."

Chris nodded. "Yep. But you remember why that's not really such a good idea, right?"

Vin grinned. "Yep. 'Cause if they spook, yanking on the reins could hurt 'em, 'cause of the bits in their mouths."

"You got it," Chris said with a wink, returning Vin's grin.

"Chris?"

"Hmm?" Chris responded, looking up from the saddlebags, where he was pulling out their sandwiches.

"Do I gotta go to school next week?"

Chris smiled again, this one sympathetic. "Yeah, pal, you do. It's the law, Vin. All kids have to go to school."

"Nuh-uh. Some kids got teachers right in their house," Vin replied, eyes earnest.

"Well, yeah, that's true. But even kids who are schooled at home have to have tests, and all that. And whoever teaches them has to follow certain rules and standards. But wouldn't it be more fun to be with other kids? And your school teaches lots of fun stuff, like music and art," Chris said, watching Vin's reaction carefully, though trying not to be obvious, as he put a peanut butter and jelly on a napkin next to Vin.

Vin shrugged, and pulled a couple blades of grass up from the edge of the blanket. "I guess it won't be so bad."

"I think it'll end up being pretty fun. You'll get to have some play time with JD, too, and you'll have Billy in your class, remember."

Vin shrugged again, and brushed the grass off his hands, eyes falling on his sandwich.

"Hey, kiddo. Is there something else about school bothering you?" Chris asked, though he had a feeling he knew what it was.

Vin took a bite, and chewed carefully, not looking directly at Chris. Once he'd swallowed, he glanced up, but for only a second. "Just don't want everybody, you know, saying my name all the time."

It was so hard, holding back, when Chris' every instinct was to pounce. But he'd learned early on that Vin would only pull back harder if Chris pushed beyond a particular limit. "Well, your name will be used in school, but it's not like we're putting your name on the news or in the paper, or anything," Chris said, watching Vin's expression closely.

"I reckon," Vin replied, taking another bite and sighing softly. And that seemed to be it, Chris realized.

Chris had had a little talk with Vin a couple nights before, explaining carefully that Vin's last name would have to be filed with the courts, for the guardianship papers, and that his name would be used for the enrollment information at Harper Hill. Vin had been a little nervous about all that, but hadn't exactly objected, which had surprised Chris a hell of a lot. Vin had guarded his name so tenaciously that Chris had expected Vin to be downright freaked about Chris putting it on official documents. But now, he had to wonder if he and Buck had been worried for nothing about some nameless, faceless monsters from Vin's past coming back to haunt them all. It might've just been memories after all that Vin was trying to run from.

If that was the case, it'd make things easier down the road, in that there wouldn't be a neglectful or outright dangerous relative out there waiting to lay claim on Vin. Chris' own peanut butter sandwich went down a little easier, but he still worried for Vin.

"You gonna be okay, pal?" Chris asked.

Vin looked up at him and nodded. "Ain't too sure it's really gonna be fun, I reckon it won't hurt none."

Chris chuckled. "Well, if it does hurt, we'll do something about it. How's that?"

Vin stuck out his hand for Chris to shake. "Deal."

Chris nodded, and shook with all the seriousness that Vin expected.

 

It wasn't easy, but Chris eased back a little on the ride back and didn't complain when Vin wanted to go a little faster. Vin didn't push Peso into an outright gallop-- Chris had expressly forbid it-- but he let his horse move into an easy lope for most of the way back, staying relatively close to the fence line, as Chris'd told asked him to do on the ride out.

Chris' gelding was fine with lagging behind a little, not really pushing to catch up or take the lead, as many horses tended when they picked up the pace, especially when another was running ahead. Once the barn was in sight over the slight ridge, Vin slowed down to a walk, again just as Chris had asked him to do. As well-behaved as Peso was, running back to the barn was too much temptation for any horse. Chris caught up quickly, and they rode side by side the rest of the way, Chris warmed by the sight of Vin's carefree grin and the way the boy stared off ahead, seeming to look right through the barn and beyond. Chris wondered what was going on in that complex little head of his, but he didn't want to ruin the moment by breaking the silence.

Chris didn't speak at all, in fact, until they were back in front of the barn and dismounting.

"Go and play with JD if you want. I'll get both of these guys unsaddled and fed," Chris said, spotting JD running out the back door of the house.

"You sure?" Vin asked, though Chris could see that Vin wanted him to say yes.

"I wouldn't have offered if I wasn't sure," Chris answered giving Vin a nod of encouragement.

Vin gave Peso a long, affectionate pat on his thick neck. "All right then. Thanks!" 

And off he went, ducking through the fence rails to meet JD halfway across the yard, leaving Chris to stand there, shaking his head at Vin's seemingly endless energy. What happened to the days not so long ago that had Vin tiring out at reasonable intervals, Chris wondered.

As he carried the two saddles to the tack room in the barn, he decided he much preferred Vin healthy and active to injured and exhausted, even if he was harder to keep up with at nearly full energy. When Vin was truly at one-hundred percent, he'd be hell to keep up with, Chris realized with a strangely amused groan to himself. Coming back out for the bridles and to give the horses a quick brushing before turning them loose, Chris spotted Vin and JD running for their treehouse, and both of them had towels tied at their necks. Apparently, they were playing Superhero again. JD liked to play SuperBuck, after the infamous pool incident, but Vin always scowled at that name, preferring to call it Superhero.

Horses squared away, and the boys happily chattering in the treehouse, Chris headed inside to see what he could pull together to put on the grill. He didn't want to be inside too long, seeing as Buck was back in his usual afternoon spot-- asleep in the recliner with a baseball game on television. Chris was back outside with a pack of hotdogs and some burger patties in less that five minutes.

He was about to open up the pack of hotdogs when the sounds of Vin's voice wafted down from under the treehouse. Vin and JD were marching, and Vin chanted in rhythm.

"Everywhere we go - oh, People wanna know - oh; Who we are, Where we come from; So we tell them, We are Alpha, Mighty Mighty Alpha; Better than Bravo, Big baby Bravo; Better than Charlie, Chicken chicken Charlie; Better than Delta, Dumb-dumb Delta; Better than Echo, Icky icky Echo; We are Airborne, Mighty mighty Airborne."

Chris felt his eyebrows climb as he realized what he was hearing. Vin was repeating an Army Ranger Airborne cadence, apparently for an Alpha company. Chris was suddenly reminded of Vin's remark weeks earlier about the Navy; he'd said they were like the Army, only sissies. And Vin had known that creamed chipped beef was often called shit on a shingle, which was originally a military term for it. At some point, Vin had been exposed to someone in the military.

Vin repeated the cadence again, still marching, with JD dutifully marching along behind him. Vin suddenly stopped, and began marching in place. Unfortunately, JD didn't stop soon enough, and bounced off of Vin's back to land on his ample little behind. Vin's feet kept going, though, and he began chanting something else, barely missing a beat.

"Somewhere there's a woman  
She's crying for her man  
He's an airborne ranger  
He does the best he can

Ain't the lady dressed in red  
to make a living on her bed  
Ain't the lady dressed in black  
to make a living on her back

Somewhere there's a woman  
She's crying for her man  
He's an airborne ranger  
He does the best he can."

Vin started marching again, and picked up the first cadence again, starting with 'Everywhere we go.' JD had picked himself up again by that time, and fell into line behind Vin again, the boys taking one more circuit under the treehouse before climbing up the ladder to go back inside. That last cadence was a shocker, coming from the lips of a seven-year-old. Whoever Vin's military influence was, he'd been pretty free with the cadences and had been around long enough to teach him some of the more colorful ones.

That was one hell of a revelation, Vin possibly having a military connection, and Chris decided that if he could get his heart to beat again, he'd start thinking about who to call to get the ball rolling, checking out military bases for Vin's history. He wasn't sure what it would accomplish, because even military personnel would report a missing child to civilian authorities, and Vin Tanner had most decidedly not been reported as missing or kidnapped. But it was a lead he couldn't afford to ignore.

Chris shook his head and turned his attention back to the hotdogs. Whether or not Chris had a lead about Vin's past, they all still had to eat. But once again, Chris stopped before he even got the package open. A white blur from the other side of the tree caught his eye, and then he spotted Vin scurrying under the treehouse, to climb back up inside. Chris was most definitely confused. He'd barely turned his eyes from the treehouse in the last ten minutes. When the hell had Vin climbed out, and how had he gotten into the horse's pasture without Chris seeing him? The white towel around his neck and flowing down his back had been what caught Chris' eye in the first place, so he couldn't have missed Vin climbing out of the treehouse trapdoor with it on. Couldn't he?

Chris put the hotdogs back down and started to head up the slight incline to the treehouse, getting a bad feeling all of a sudden. "What are you boys playing?" he called out, trying not to sound suspicious. Didn't want to start treating his boys like suspects.

"Playin' Airborne!" Vin called out excitedly.

"Vin's playin' Airborne. I'm playing SUPERBUCK!" JD called.

At that second, Chris saw another blur, this one coming from the back window of the treehouse, falling down into the horse pasture, and with JD attached to it. They were jumping out the fucking window, Chris realized, bolting into a dead run as JD hit the ground and let out a blood-curdling scream.

Chris reached the pasture fence and vaulted over it, getting to JD and glancing up at the window again, Vin's leg already hanging out of it. "Do not jump, Vin. You climb down using the ladder!" He shouted up and saw Vin immediately retract his leg back inside. "All right, JD, I gotcha," Chris said, scooping up the boy once he saw him cradling his arm, still screaming his head off.

It was tricky, getting over the fence with JD in his arms, but Chris managed it, landing on the other side to see Vin standing in front of him, panic on his face and tears streaming down his face.

"He'll be okay, Vin," Chris said over JD's continued wailing. "I think he might've broken his arm. We'll take him to the ER and get a cast on it, and he'll be good as new. Let's go get Buck."

Vin nodded, then turned on his heels and went into a flat-out run for the house, shouting for Buck. Chris winced, not exactly having had that in mind. Buck had apparently already caught some of the screaming though, and came flying out the door, headed their way. He snapped up Vin along the way, and was getting filled in, from the looks of it.

"Just get the keys to the Durango, Buck," Chris called. Buck nodded, had a word with Vin, who he put down with a nod, then ran back to the house. Vin took off for the Durango, and got the back door open.

By the time Chris got there, Vin was inside, buckled into his own seat. Chris got a still-screaming JD into his seat, then Chris climbed over him to sit in the middle. Buck was in the driver's seat and had the vehicle running by the time Chris had his seatbelt buckled.

 

JD's arm wasn't broken, as it turned out. He had a rather mild sprain of his wrist and a previously unrealized flare for the dramatic. He was only five, after all, the doctor had pointed out. He'd mostly just scared himself, the doc further explained before putting JD's wrist in a splint that they all knew he'd tire of within a couple days, and sending them home with instructions to give him children's Tylenol and some extra attention for a few days. 

The hotdogs and burger patties were ruined, having been left forgotten and raw next to the grill. Chris was relieved that he'd only barely gotten the coals going and hadn't used the propane at all, or they could've come home to a disaster. Luckily, Chris'd remembered the ruined meat sitting outside before they got home, and he'd made a detour by the little pizza place a few miles from the house.

Once at home, they had a discussion about the treehouse as they ate. Chris'd had to explain that if they wouldn't allow the boys' slide to be installed on the pasture-side window, it should've been obvious that they didn't want them jumping out that window into the pasture, either. Obviously, it simply hadn't occurred to the boys to think of it that way. They honestly hadn't thought of it as breaking a rule, and so they wouldn't be punished... unless they did it again. Chris declared in no uncertain terms that if they used that window for anything more than looking out of it, Chris would board it up. That, they understood perfectly.

A pepperoni pizza and a few subs later, the excitement finally waned, and the boys were quietly playing in their room. Chris was just getting the folded pizza box into the trash when Buck came sauntering into the kitchen, a smug grin on his face.

"So, I ain't the only one who could have things go wrong when I'm watching 'em, huh," Buck said, crossing his arms over his stomach in something that looked like triumph.

"Never said you were, Buck," Chris answered, not particularly sure what Buck's point was.

"I'm just saying, now that you've had a minor disaster on your own watch, maybe you can ease up some on how I screwed up mine."

Chris shook his head. "Different circumstances, pard."

"How do you figure that, Chris?" Buck asked, a trace of pissiness in his voice. "One of them boys got hurt on your watch. They was jumping out of the damn window, in case you forgot!"

"I didn't forget, Buck. I was there. I was awake when I saw it," Chris replied, stuffing the box into the can with a little more force than was necessary. "If I'd been sound asleep for a two or three hour nap when it happened, then we could talk," he added, letting the lid to the can fall closed with a clank.

Buck's jaw clenched before he opened his mouth to answer. "I know I goofed, but you need to admit that you goofed, too."

Chris snorted, not in the mood for Buck's particular logic. "I didn't goof. I stayed awake. And I got my ass up there the second I suspected they were up to something. Like I said, totally different circumstances."

Bobbing his head back and forth, Buck appeared to be working himself into a fit of sarcasm. "So you're perfect, and I got a lot to learn, is that it?"

Chris sighed, realizing what the problem really was. What Buck needed was to not feel as though his parenting skills would always be compared to Chris' and come up short. All Chris'd ever wanted was for Buck to balance the levity that the boys needed with a little more of the diligence that most parents learned.

"You do have some things to learn, Buck. We both do, as a matter of fact. We both have to keep in mind that these aren't ordinary kids. They're kids who've had extraordinary circumstances. And while I'm figuring out how to integrate that with what I already know about kids, your homework is to learn the basics."

Buck looked at him through hurt, squinted eyes. "So I'm back in basic training, huh? Not good enough for anything more?"

"Not experienced enough for anything more yet. There's a difference, Buck. There isn't anything wrong with being new to this, and there never was. I don't hold it against you that you don't have experience as a parent. I'm sorry if I made you feel that I did."

"You mean that?" Buck asked, looking suspicious.

Chris rolled his eyes. "Yes, I do. You have things to learn, Buck, and I'm not gonna say you don't, because the kids will suffer for it. But considering you haven't done this before, there isn't a thing wrong with that, and I never wanted you to think there was."

Buck sighed, and finally, a small grin appeared on his face. "That was a bona fide apology. From you," he said, looking pleased for the first time in over a week."

"Well, don't get used to it," Chris grumbled, but not with a lot of conviction.

"All right, all right," Buck said, hands up in surrender. "So, you're gonna fill me in on the details of this military thing later?"

Chris nodded, relieved that the topic of Buck's parenting skills was over. "After the kids are asleep. I'll need some ideas on how to get this new search started."

"Sounds like a plan. But for now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna do the adult thing and go look in on the boys, make sure they ain't into any mischief."

A small chuckled bubbled up as Chris answered. "Good idea."

Buck headed around the corner to the boys' room, and Chris let out a long, cleansing breath. He didn't want to have to get into the pool incident again. It just made them both tense, and it was too hard to get anything productive out of it. Buck tended to try to defend himself, the last time being when he pointed out that the kids were often on their own some Saturday and Sunday mornings before Chris and Buck got out of bed. 

Chris had had to explain that that was different, mostly because the boys already fell into their routine of having cereal or pop-tarts and watching cartoons for the hour or two it sometimes took Chris or Buck to wake up and check on them. The boys had already known that they weren't allowed to step one foot out the door, and they weren't allowed to to touch anything in the kitchen but their juice boxes, cereal and pop-tarts until Chris or Buck was awake to watch them. 

It was the boredom of the middle of the day, with no established routine for the kids to follow that led Vin to go along with JD's demands to swim. Well, that and Vin's uncertainty of how to keep JD occupied without putting the two of them danger of Buck's perceived temper at being woken from his nap. But Buck had a hard time seeing the distinction between unsupervised early morning cartoons versus an unsupervised afternoon with so many temptations taunting them, and so that particular debate never went well.

Of course, Chris was nervous about the kids being awake for that long in the mornings without them, and he tended to try to wake as early as possible, just in case. But it was extension of trust that most parents granted their kids at that age, and Chris didn't want to take it away from Vin and JD. They'd had too much taken from them already.

Chris just hoped that whatever came of the day's revelation of Vin's military connection, it didn't result in Vin having something else taken away from him.

 

************************

Chris had had a suspicion that the boys would enjoy riding through the pastures in the old truck, knowing kids' penchant to actually enjoy the spring and bounce of older shocks on a big vehicle. Both boys giggled freely, shouts of 'do it again, do it again,' ringing in his ears each time the truck took a particularly jarring bump. Chris hope Buck remembered some of the best ones for the trip back. 

Finally they arrived at the fence along the far end of the pasture, and they pulled the truck to a stop. Thankfully, the area of fencing he was concerned about happened to be pretty shady, tall, old trees from Cal Hendrick's land on the other side of the fence stretching the afternoon shadows onto Chris' property. Technically, the fencing was on Chris' side of the property line,  
but Cal had offered to share some of the maintenance costs, wanting to be sure his bull didn't mix with the horses and ponies on Chris' land. Vin was a little disappointed that they couldn't ride the horses out here to work on the fence, but he'd acknowledged that it wouldn't be practical to strap the lumber and tools to the horses, and he seemed to have forgotten that disappoinment the first time the bounce of the truck tossed him up in the air.

The fencing along this stretch was the oldest and most weathered, and there were scattered rails here and there at the top of the priority list to replace. Cal and the previous owner of the ranch had had the same agreement years ago, both men agreeing on split rails even then, sharing a distaste for barbed wire that Chris was grateful for today. Didn't matter that the fencing way back here wasn't visible from any road; barbed wire was dangerous for the animals, and marred the beauty of the land.

The boys raced through the field, setting starting and finishing lines from the fenceline to shadows they marked in the distance.

"Smart boys," Buck chuckled as he pulled another slat from the back of the truck.

"No kidding," Chris answered with a grin. "Having races in the sun would get old pretty damned quick."

It didn't escape Chris' notice that Vin gave JD significant head-starts on their races, and sometimes exaggerated the effort it took to catch up. Sometimes he let the younger boy win, and sometimes he just barely made it to the finish line for a narrow victory.

Chris and Buck had three rails replaced, and decided to take a break. He called the boys over, too, noting the flushes on both their faces. He took out a Coke for himself and Buck, and waited for the kids to get there, to let them pick their own drink. He held the coolor lid open and watched as two sweaty faces peered in.

"What's the blue stuff?" JD asked craning his neck to look up at Chris.

"That's gatorade. Kinda like Kool-aid, I guess," Chris answered. He was relieved that Vin had taken a gatorade, knowing it would be better for him than a cola, but he hadn't wanted to push, especially since it was a treat and not his drink for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

"It's good, JD," Vin assured after having gulped down a good amount of his.

"I'll try it," JD agreed. Chris got the bottle opened for him, and JD started guzzling. His face scrunched up a little when he stopped for air, the taste obviously foreign to him, but he shrugged and guzzled a little more. Chris had a suspicion that JD just liked drinking from the sport-bottle nozzle. Didn't matter to Chris, as long as the boy was hydrated. Though he made a mental note to remember those sport-bottle lids for the future-- those could come in handy next time one of the boys got sick and Gatorade had to be on the menu.

Breaktime was over soon enough for Chris and Buck, so they got back down to business while the boys settled in the shade with a few of the toy trucks they'd brought with them. Little piles of dirt transferred from spot to spot around the kids in little, metal trucks while old rails transferred to the big truck to be replaced by new ones. The fence project and toy dump truck project both progressed nicely, and after another hour, all four boys were ready to declare success and head back to the house.

Vin and JD gathered their toy trucks and put them in the big truck, then moved back with Chris, so that Buck could maneuver the big vehicle onto a flatter spot on the field. Chris didn't want the boys in the truck for that, just in case.

The truck heaved and jerked forward, trudging up the little rise, away from the fence area and toward more even ground. Buck was just about there, just a few more feet, when the truck lurched, hard, and backfired with a resounding boom. Chris winced, just as JD let out an ear-piercing scream and grabbed Chris' leg. Chris bent down to pick up the little boy, as he seemed to be attempting to climb up Chris' body. Chris had him in his arms a split second after the backfire, rubbing his back and trying to speak words of comfort, even if JD's screams drowned most of them out.

Chris glanced down to see how Vin was taking JD's reaction to the noise, and felt a shiver of terror creep down his spine. Vin stood stock still, eyes glazed and mouth opened in a shocked little o. The front of his denim shorts bore a big, wet spot, and urine dripped down one leg. 

The truck had reached the flat of the field ahead, and Chris looked up to see Buck swing out of the driver's side. "Get down here, now, Buck" Chris called out.

Buck flew down the small hill, and Chris moved JD into Buck's arms, JD going willingly, Chris was relieved to find. Chris then moved in front of Vin, got down on his knees and gently placed his hands on Vin's shoulders.

"Vin? Pal? You hear me? It's safe, buddy, you're safe."

Vin just stared into space, eyes glassy and obviously unseeing. Chris reached into his pocket for his kerchief. Watching Vin for any reactions or returning alertness, he sopped up some of the wetness on Vin's leg, and dabbed a little at the spot on his pants, talking to him softly all the while.

"It was a scary noise, I know, but everything is fine, I promise. We're gonna head back to the house, have some lunch, and relax in the air conditioning for a while. No more heat for today. How's that sound, huh, big guy?"

Vin didn't respond at all, was as near to catatonic as Chris had ever seen a person. Chris knew exactly what it was-- they'd talked about it enough before the kids were released from the hospital and when they'd begun sessions with their therapist, Dr. Perry. Vin was completely disassociated from them, hiding in his own little world. The doctors had warned him it could happen, if something triggered Vin's memory of the trauma of Vicki's shooting.

Being warned about it, though, and having to stare into the child's vacant face were two different things. "Please, Vin. Come back to us, pal. We want you to come home, now. Can you do that? You're safe, Vin, I promise you."

Vin didn't respond, and JD's hiccups and dwindling sobs wrenched at him, too. God, what if Buck hadn't been here? How could he deal with both boys going through this crisis at the same time? How fucking useful was he to Vin even with Buck here?

"Come on, Vin, come home, please!" Chris begged once more, wincing at the panic leaking through into his voice.

"Let's get 'em back to the house," Buck said, his voice tight.

Chris nodded. He stood up and bent down to pick up Vin. The boy didn't fight him, and in fact, when Chris swept one arm under Vin's legs and braced Vin's back with his other arm, the child seemed to move his body into position. Physically, he knew what it meant to be held this way, and was obediently molding his body to where it should go. Once up and in Chris' arms, Vin's head fell limply to Chris' chest.

Buck got JD into the front seat quickly, then held the door open for Chris. The cab was big enough that Chris could duck in and not have to let go of Vin. Buck slammed the door shut once he was inside and all limbs were out of the way.

Buck jumped behind the wheel, slammed his own door shut, and then they were off. The bouncing and jarring on the way back had no appeal at all, for any of them.

Back inside the house, Buck had JD ensconced on the couch quickly, a juice box and a cookie in front of him, and an extra hug with a promise he'd be back in a second. Chris moved Vin into the boys' room, and set about getting those wet shorts off of him. Normally, the boy would be so upset to have anyone help him dress or undress, so much so Chris had resigned himself to standing outside the bathroom door until Vin was in the tub and covered by bubbles when it was bathtime. The short baths in the hospital had barely been tolerated, and so once the necessity was gone, Vin had seized his privacy again with both hands and hadn't let go. 

This time, though, Vin didn't react at all as Chris peeled the wet shorts and then Vin's underwear down his legs. There was no reaction at all when Chris ran a warm, wet washcloth over Vin's groin and legs, either. He just stared off into nothing, far away in his safe little world. It scared Chris, badly, that the independent little boy who guarded himself so fiercely seemed to be gone.

Chris got dry underwear and clean shorts on him quickly, then picked him up again. Vin's legs automatically wrapped around Chris' waist, and his arms slid around Chris' neck. He supported the boy with a hand on his bottom, and rubbed his back with the other. He picked up his chatter to Vin again, having gone silent through getting him changed.

"Here we go, on the couch, big guy. JD has cartoons on, you can sit here with him while I use the phone for a minute. Then we'll get lunch together and have a lazy afternoon."

Chris lowered to the couch, and Vin's limbs extricated themselves automatically. Chris stood, and swept his hand over the boy's hair. "I'll be back before you know it, pal."

Chris went into the kitchen then, Buck having already grabbed the phone and called Dr. Perry. Buck paced the room, combing shaking fingers through his hair. He turned when Chris came in and handed him the phone. "On hold," he said, and Chris nodded.

"Check on the boys?" Chris asked, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Sure," Buck said and headed immediately for the living room, leaving deep breaths in his wake.

It wasn't long before the line clicked, ending the elevator music, and Dr. Perry's voice came through. "Buck? It's Dr. Perry."

"It's Chris, now, Dr. Perry."

"Okay, Chris. I hear we're having a crisis?"

"Oh yeah. Truck backfired, and I think it sounded too much like gunshots to both the boys. JD screamed, but Vin... he's..."

"He withdrew?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah, completely. It's like he's catatonic," Chris said, his throat tightening.

"From what Buck told the nurse on call, it sounds like he's disassociated. It's the most common reaction to being confronted with a previous trauma. I know it's hard to concentrate right now, but take a deep breath, and think back to the literature we gave you on your first visit to my office."

Chris did as he was told, and took in a deep, cleansing breath. He let it out slowly, trying to center himself. He knew Vin had disassociated, he'd figured that much back in the pasture. He also knew that it was a post traumatic stress reaction. In Vin's mind, he'd heard the guns going off again and he didn't want to stay in that reality, so his mind took him someplace safe.

"Okay, Dr. Perry, I'm with you."

"Good. Now, you remember the instructions said that if it happens, getting him in comfortable, familiar surroundings would help. You've done that?" 

"Yeah. He's on the couch now, JD's with him, and Buck's hovering. He put cartoons on the television for him. I'm worried that it took too long, though. We had to drive back to the house from the far pasture, and I had to get him changed," Chris explained, trying hard not to lose the focus he'd jus gained.

"You had to get his clothes changed?" Dr. Perry asked, apparently not having had that information yet.

"Yeah, I did. God, he was so scared, he wet himself. I couldn't let him go around with his pants like that. He'd be humiliated when he came back to us."

"I understand, and you did the right thing. But we also know how Vin is about his privacy. Did he show any reaction at all throughout the process of getting him cleaned up and changed?"

"None. Nothing at all. Dr. Perry, I'm not clear on this disassociation thing. Was Vin aware of what I was doing? Jesus... I didn't torture him, did I?"

The doctor sighed, and Chris' gut clenched. She began answering faster than Chris expected, though. "Chris, you didn't torture him. I can't say for certain if Vin was consciously aware of your ministrations. Some patients say later that they had some awareness, as though they were an outsider, watching someone else go through the ordeal in their place; other patients  
report no awareness at all, and describe the experience as going to a completely different place. The only way you'll know is by asking him." 

"So I have to talk to him about it, when he comes to? God, he will come to soon, won't he?"

"I believe he will," Dr. Perry assured, her voice taking on a soothing timbre. "You've done everything so far that you could. Having to have his pants changed might have prolonged the episode a little, but it had to be done. Keep speaking to him, conversational tones that he would find normal, and he will come back."

Chris took another deep breath and peeked into the living room, phone still plastered to his ear. "And then later, after he's back and things seem to be okay, that's when I ask him about being scared out there?"

"Yes, sometime this evening, once he's had a little time to settle down, but while he's still likely aware that something has happened," she answered.

Chris' heart finally slowed down, and he realized he could hear Dr. Perry a little better. "If I remember right, I don't do this in his room? His room is a safe place?"

"Exactly. Talk to him somewhere else in the house, but a place that might also feel safe. A serene setting, probably someplace like the kitchen, or living room, where you share family experiences, would be best. Very gently ask him if he got a little scared today, and see how he reacts. He won't voluntarily bring up the subject, but you might have some luck coaxing a conversation about it, if you keep it vague enough. He needs to deal with it, but it can't be too confrontational, or we risk bringing the trauma alive too vividly."

Chris swallowed the lump in his throat, peeked out into the living room again. "Okay, got it. But what about JD? He pretty much clung to Buck until he calmed down. Do we have him talk about it, too?"

"Yes, either you or Buck should sit with him, make him feel as safe as possible, and quietly bring up the subject of him getting scared earlier. He's much more likely to talk about it than Vin, of course, and this will be his chance to verbalize his fear, and your chance to comfort him through it. He didn't disassociate the way Vin did, so it's entirely possible that he might not have related the noise to his mother's shooting, but to violent noises in general which frightened him. Be careful not to specifically relate the noise to gunfire; let him associate the noise to whatever he imagined it to be."

"All right. I think I have it all, now. I think I need to be out there with them, talking Vin back to us."

"Yes, you do," Dr. Perry agreed. "If he hasn't had a change in the next forty-five minutes, call me back."

"Actually, Dr, it looks like he's falling asleep," Chris said, squinting to see Vin's face from across the room.

"Given his physical recovery, that's not too surprising. Emotional upheaval of this magnitude in addition to his body's efforts to finish his recuperation have probably exhausted him."

"Do I let him sleep?" Chris asked, concerned at a possibility he hadn't heard of to that point.

"For a little while, yes. Don't go out of your way to be extra quiet, but for the next forty-five minutes or so, don't go out of your way to be any louder than you usually would, either. Let him wake as though it were any other summer day on which he'd fallen asleep after a busy afternoon. Normalcy is the key, Chris."

Chris let out a deep sigh. "Thank you, Dr. Perry. I'll go join the others, now."

"You're welcome, Chris. I'll make notes of this so we can discuss it your next session."

"Okay. Thanks again," Chris said, waited for Dr. Perry to say goodbye, then clicked the phone off.

Chris sat on the floor, next to the couch, motioning for Buck to stay in the recliner. JD, he noted, had nodded off on the other end of the couch, but given the time of day, he wasn't surprised. "Dr. Perry said to be as normal as we can. Watch the cartoons, make the same level of noise we would any other time." 

Buck's eyebrows arched high. "You mean let him wake up as if the whole day had been a nap?" he whispered-- loudly.

Chris shot him a narrow-eyed glance. "No, not exactly. We let him wake up from his nap, then later we talk about it. I'll explain later, Buck. I don't want him waking up to hear us talking about him. But we do need to talk-- about something, anything."

Buck nodded, "Okay, okay, I hear ya. How about we talk about ice skates, then?"

Chris gave him a look that he knew Buck understood was the 'have you lost your last marble look.'

"Ice skates, Buck?" 

Buck grinned. "Just lookin' ahead. If this winter's as cold as last, that pond up at the high pasture is going to make for great skating. We might just have a hockey star on our hands with one of these boys."

Chris finally let out the laugh he needed to. "Let's get through baseball and soccer season before we start buying winter sporting goods, too." 

After another thirty minutes of Buck's sports projections for the boys-- he had Vin as a third baseman and JD as a linebacker-- Vin finally began rousing. He stretched his legs tight, yawning widely.

Chris' heart pounded, as he watched, but tried not to watch so closely that he'd make Vin self-conscious if he caught him staring at him. Another interminable moment, and blue eyes fluttered open. Chris looked away for a second, then glanced back. Vin rubbed his eyes and sat up.

"Well, hey there, sleepy-head," Chris said with a smile.

"Hey, squirt," Buck added, and casually flipped the tv station from cartoons to the baseball game.

"Hey," Vin croaked, still waking up.

"You about ready for some lunch, pal?" Chris asked, still grinning, even though his heart was in his throat.

Vin nodded. "What're we gonna have?" he asked, eyes more focused, finally.

"Hmm. How about I whip up some of my special quesadillas?" Chris said, putting a bit of taunting in his voice.

Vin grinned at that, and Chris felt relief flooding through him.

"Can we have guacamole with 'em?" he asked, his little smile going lopsided.

"You bet," Chris said, then stood up and patted the boy's leg before heading to the kitchen. It wasn't over yet, but Chris was sure they'd gotten through the worst of it.

JD hadn't been so sure about the quesadilla thing the first time Chris made them. But once he got a taste of the gooey cheese in the middle, the little guy was hooked. Chris had explained to the boy that they were sort of like Mexican grilled cheese, and he'd gotten a kick out of that. JD had woken from his nap shortly after Vin, had wiped the sleep out of his eyes and announced that his belly needed filling. Mexican grilled cheese suited JD just fine.

Vin was a little subdued during lunch, but not particularly irritable. JD had bounced back just fine, Chris believed, but he'd still sit with him in a little while and see if the child would talk about what happened. He didn't want to take chances with either boys' emotional well-being. 

Chris cleaned up the dishes, Buck getting in the way more than helping, and that made the afternoon feel almost as normal as they were trying to make it feel. Chris was just putting the last dish in the dishwasher when Vin gave him a slight tug on his sleeve.

"What's on your mind, big guy?" Chris asked.

"Can I go draw for a while?" Vin asked quietly.

"Of course, you can. You feeling okay?" Chris asked, just in case Vin was ready to talk now.

But Vin just nodded yes, his face open and sincere. "All right then, I'll pop in after while and maybe I can draw with you for a bit?"

Vin grinned a little at him, said "okay," then went off to his room. 

Chris finished up in the kitchen, then headed out to the living room to see what Buck and JD were up to. Buck had JD on his lap-- sort of. The boy sat on Buck thighs, but his upper body was hanging upside-down, with his head hanging a few inches from the floor.

"You're gonna get dizzy, sport," Chris chuckled.

"Nuh-uh. Buck pulls me up before my brains get fuzzy, then I fall back again," he explained, chubby face getting red already.

"Oh, well that's different, then," Chris said, and relaxed back on the couch. Buck grinned and shrugged, apparently not bothered by JD's latest game. Just when Chris about to tell Buck enough's enough, he pulled JD back up again. "Hey, kiddo, before you go upside-down again, come over here for a minute, please?"

JD looked over at him, and Buck lifted him from his lap. "Just for a minute, JD. I wanna ask you something," Chris added, just for reassurance.

JD walked over and stood in front of Chris' knees, looking a tad suspicious. Chris patted his lap in invitation, and JD took him up on it, climbing on up. Once Chris got him settled, he placed a loud, smacking kiss on JD's cheek, making the boy giggle. Chris waited until the giggles stopped, gave JD an affectionate squeeze, then sat back so he could see his face. "So, you're having a good day again?" Chris asked, wanting to ease into the subject of the truck.

"Yeah. Mexican grilled cheese is fun," JD answered.

Chris smiled. "Yeah, it is."

"Bouncin' in the truck is fun, and playin' kid trucks is fun, too," JD added.

"Oh, I know," Chris said, then waited a beat before taking the plunge. "It wasn't so much fun when the truck made that big, old noise, though, was it." 

JD frowned, and his voice got soft. "That wasn't no fun at all. Are you gonna fix it so the truck don't fart no more?"

Chris' eyes opened wide. "Fart?" He looked at Buck, whose jaw had dropped.

"That's what Buck called it, a big old nasty truck fart," JD said, looking confused.

"Well, whatever you call it, JD, yeah, I'm gonna fix it so it doesn't do that anymore," Chris said, then looked again at Buck.

"I musta gotten creative earlier," Buck said, his shoulders lifting to his ears and his palms up in the air.

A tiny voice from the edge of the hallway interrupted. "What's a tire fart?"

Chris saw from Vin's pained face that it was taking him a lot of effort not to run back in his room and hide. "I dunno, pal, what's a tire fart?"

"A real blow-out."

JD cracked up, all too happy to hear a fart joke, even one they'd heard before. Chris grinned wide, and Buck chuckled, too. Vin didn't come any further into the living room, but he did manage a twitch of his lips that might be the beginnings of a smile.

"That's a good one, Vin," Chris said, giving the boy a warm smile. "I think I'm gonna turn the ice-cream machine on. Vin, you wanna help me?" 

JD turned and looked at him, eyes wide and big smile on his face. JD responded to junk food the way Buck responded to long, feminine legs. "Why don't you and Buck hang out and tell more fart jokes, and Vin and I will make some magic with the ice-cream machine, okay?"

JD nodded happily and climbed down from his lap after another tight hug. Chris stood and headed for the kitchen, nodding in that direction to Vin. The boy hesitated, but then started to follow, sticking close to the walls.

Vin came in behind him, and Chris reached into the cabinet to get the machine down. He plugged it in, then looked down at Vin, standing next to him. "Wanna sit up here while we make it?"

Vin nodded, and Chris reached under Vin's arms to haul him to the counter. He sat next to the ice-cream maker, skinny little legs swaying a little from the counter-top. Chris got out the salt, a bag of sugar, and then grabbed a bag of ice from the freezer. "I'm proud of you, Vin," Chris said casually, then took a glance at Vin's face.

"You are?" he whispered.

"Yeah, I am. You had a really scary day, but you didn't run away when JD and I talked about it. That was a really, really brave thing, Vin."

Vin didn't look too sure, and he dropped his head to watch his fingers play with the hem of his tee-shirt.

Chris didn't want to blow this. It was a real breakthrough, for Vin to not deny the whole thing. To even allow himself to take part in the conversation, even to joke, had to have been terrifying for the boy. 

"I know you don't want to talk about it, and I won't make you, but I just want to ask you one thing," Chris said. "Just let me ask this one question, and you can decide whether or not you want to answer."

Vin looked up at that, surprised, and sadly, a little untrusting. "You ain't gonna make me answer?"

"Not if you don't want to. I'd like to know, but if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to," Chris promised.

"Okay, then," Vin said, then dropped his eyes again.

"When the truck made that awful noise, you kinda went somewhere else for a while. I just... I'd like to know a little about what that was like. Were you not afraid then?" Chris asked as softly as he could and still allow Vin to hear him.

Vin shrugged. He didn't look up, and Chris was afraid that was Vin's answer. He gave it another minute then slowly, carefully, brushed a piece of Vin's hair from his forehead. "I promised I wouldn't force you to tell me anything. You can change your mind any time you want, pal."

Vin nodded, and Chris got out the measuring cup, a carton of eggs and the chocolate sauce.

"I played trucks," Vin said quietly as Chris poured some chocolate sauce into two measuring spoons.

Chris faltered briefly, but finished pouring the second spoon. "Yeah?" he whispered.

Vin nodded. "It was safe, there. Little trucks don't make them noises. I played trucks in the dirt till I got sleepy."

Chris nodded and Vin finally met his eyes. God, such heartache in them. "I'm glad you told me, Vin. Thank you. It means a lot."

The boy gave him a sad, half-smile.

Chris slid over a little closer, standing in front of him. He ducked his head to get Vin to look at him. "Hey, big guy. You know you mean a lot to me, right? Whether or not you tell me things like this when I ask, or whether you decide you want to keep it to yourself. You still mean a lot to me, and that won't change."

Vin's eyes clouded, and Chris felt an icy shiver of fear that he pushed too hard. "What if I'm bad," he asked, the threat of tears building.

"Vin, Vin, it's okay. You're not bad. Everybody does something wrong once in a while. It doesn't mean you're bad. Kids make mistakes, and grownups make mistakes, too. But it doesn't matter, 'cause I'll still love you, kiddo. No matter what, no matter if you make mistakes."

Vin ducked his head then snuck a peek back up again. "I ain't bad?"

"No, Vin. God, no, you aren't bad. You're a good boy. Sometimes-- just sometimes-- you have a little trouble understanding why we have some of our rules, but even then, you're a good boy."

Vin rubbed his eyes on his shirt sleeve, and wouldn't look at him. Chris didn't want to push it, so he went back to what he was doing to get the ice-cream ingredients ready. He was overcome by a tiny fit of mischief, though. He swiped a finger into one of the spoons of chocolate, then tapped Vin's nose. "Gotcha," he said and laughed. 

Vin looked up, startled, then a grin slowly turned up on his lips as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. "That ain't fair. I got nothing to get you back!"

Chris slid the other spoon toward Vin, then took his, and scooped a little more chocolate on it. As far as food fights went, it was pretty tame, seeing as they didn't have much to work with, but Vin proved adept at slinging the creamy chocolate, and ended up getting a decent streak of it across Chris' cheek and lips.

"Not too shabby, kiddo," Chris told him, grinning ear to ear.

Vin giggled, then replied with a question Chris remembered from a night not long ago. "How do you say fart in German?"

"I don't know. How?" Chris asked, watching that small, precious face light up.

"Farfrompoopin!"

Chris laughed along with Vin, leaving one more dot of chocolate on the little boy's chin. He only hoped that he'd left him a little bit more secure, as well.

 

Ice cream dishes rinsed and put in the dishwasher, Chris poked his head into the living room as he dried his hands on a dish towel. The boys were engrossed in The Lion King, eyes rapt on the television. Buck sat at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee, looking several kinds of tired. Tossing the dish towel in the laundry room, Chris came out and sat across from Buck, realizing he had something important that Buck needed to digest.

"Today? In the field and then back at the house? That's why you're here, Buck."

Buck looked up, eyebrows drawn together in confusion. "Whattaya mean? I didn't do all that much."

"Don't underestimate yourself, pard. Fart jokes and hugs during a crisis come naturally to you, and it was exactly what the boys needed. We still have to be careful, and I don't want either of us to forget that, but I hope you finally understand just how important you are to these kids."

It didn't cost Chris a lot to say that, no matter how often Buck gave him shit about being prideful. Chris watched as Buck sat quietly and processed what he'd said.

Finally, a grin formed on Buck's face, one that triggered the twinkle in his eyes, and he really seemed to get it. "I hear ya," Buck said after a moment, and gave Chris a single nod.

At last, it seemed to Chris that all of them had fallen into the roles Chris had envisioned for this odd little family. Sitting back with a sigh, Chris had the feeling in the pit of his stomach that everything was going to be all right.

 

************************* 

A persistant grin tugged at Chris' lips until he finally surrendered and gave way to a full smile. Dr. Bailey accepted Chris' check and ambled off to his truck, having proclaimed Dollie to be fit as the proverbial fiddle. Chris waved as the vet turned his vehicle to head down the long drive, then gave the quirky mare a gentle stroke along her muzzle. He unbuckled her halter, freeing her to go back to the other horses. 

Smile still in place, Chris dropped the halter off in the tack room in the barn, then loped back to the house, knowing the kids and Buck would be tumbling out of bed any time now. He was anxious to share the news with all of them, knowing they'd find it as exciting as he did...

Next summer, they'd have a new foal on the ranch.

Paul Watkins had called Chris night before last, somewhat sheepish and a lot apologetic. Watkins' oldest grandson had confessed to him that day that he'd been a bit careless one day early in the summer when he'd been moving the horses from their far pastures. Seems that Twister had had himself quite the little tryst with Dollie as a result. Watkins said it was only right that he  
let Chris know about it, in case that tryst was successful. And it was, Chris now knew.

Watkins had sounded relieved that Chris wasn't upset, and was even more relieved to hear that Chris had had at least a little experience with pregnant mares. After he told the boys, Chris planned on calling Watkins to let him know, too. It would only be fair for Chris to offer a stud fee, seeing as they'd be getting a brand new horse out of the deal.

Chris came up to the back door, hearing the unmistakeable jingle of Looney Tunes as he opened it. The sounds of two sets of bare feet slapping onto the kitchen floor greeted him as he reached for a coffee cup.

"Who was that?" JD asked, climbing into one of the kitchen chairs.

Vin slid into the chair next to him, his head cocked sideways, also waiting for the answer to that.

"We saw a truck pulling down the drive," Buck added sleepily from the archway into the kitchen.

"That was Dr. Bailey, the vet. He came out to take a quick look at Dollie," Chris answered, pouring his coffee and sitting down with the boys. 

"Is she sick?" Vin asked, little face showing worry. 

Chris grinned at him and ruffled his hair. "Nope. She's just fine," he said."In fact, she's in great shape, and if we take care of her, she'll be all ready for the big event next summer."

He glanced up at Buck, whose gradually widening eyes told Chris he was on the right track.

"Boys, next summer, Dollie is going to have a baby," he said, feeling his smile still plastered on his face.

Both boys' mouths dropped, and JD let out a soft 'wow'.

"She's gonna have a foal?" Vin asked, his face brightening. "She really is? Next summer?"

Chris laughed. "Yep, she really is. Apparently, Dollie was friends with Twister, too, and not just the geldings on Mr. Watkins' farm," Chris added, catching Buck's eyes again, and seeing that their amusement was shared.

"Does that mean that Peso and Dollie's baby are gonna be related?" Vin asked, a curious expression suddenly appearing on his face.

"It sure does, pal. Peso's gonna have a little brother or sister sometime around late May next year."

Vin's expression softened, and in Chris' opinion also looked a little bit sad. "Vin? You okay with that?" Chris asked, looking closely into the little boy's eyes.

Vin nodded, though, and gave him a grin. "Peso's a good horse. It's good he can have a family."

Chris' stomach flipped a little at that, at Vin's thoughts taking him to family. He was about to answer him, but JD piped in. "Can Bit have a baby, too? Bit needs a family," he said, eyes huge.

Chris smiled at them both, as Buck finally sat with them at the table and joined in on the conversation. "Bit already has a family, JD. She has Peso and Dollie and Nick, and all of us. Just 'cause they aren't related by blood doesn't mean they aren't family. Do you understand?"

JD shrugged, obviously not truly understanding, but willing to go along because Buck said so. Vin though, he ducked his head a little and sighed softly.

"Vin, Buck's right. People who love each other and take care of each other are every bit as much a family as people who are born into a family. I'm sure Peso is gonna love having a little brother or sister on the ranch, but he's happy now, too. We take good care of him, and we love him a lot."

Vin looked up at him again, not exactly brimming with confidence at Chris' words, but something in them, a glimmer of trust, said that he would at least try to believe. Chris smiled at him, and brushed a hand over his unruly morning curls before standing.

"Okay, I'm hungry. Who wants pancakes?" Buck said, rising along with Chris.

Two high-pitched shouts of 'me' rang out in the kitchen.

"Don't even think about it, Buck. Your breakfast preparation is limited to cereal and toast. I'll do the pancakes and sausage, you do toast and juice and cleanup," Chris said, heading to the pantry doors for the pancake mix.

"Fine, fine," Buck grumbled in his usual good-natured way.

Chris turned back with the mix to find Vin standing next to him, question in his eyes. "What's up, pal?"

"You aint gonna sell the foal, are you?" he asked softly.

God. No way would Chris consider it, especially with the way Vin was obviously feeling about family today. "No, Vin. We're keeping the foal, I promise."

The look of relief on Vin's face was all Chris needed to know his instincts on this were right on. He wasn't sure why, but he but he couldn't help but feel that this foal represented something; some kind of bridge between what he and Buck already had with the boys and what they were trying to build with them for the future.

The boys were going to go through a lot of adjustments and changes between now and May. Chris hoped that the coming foal would give them all something to hold on to; something to bring them hope and happiness when the adjustments and changes were at their roughest.

************


End file.
